THE TRINING Book Three
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "LIEUTENANTS DOWN! (Pt.1)"JOURNEY INTO REDEMPTION
30 total reviews
Comment from smudge
A well paced piece of writing from a true professional author. The illustration is extremely eye catching. It just has that touch of reality to make it believable.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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A well paced piece of writing from a true professional author. The illustration is extremely eye catching. It just has that touch of reality to make it believable.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Thanks, first for wandering back, and then being so generous with your accolades and stars. Yes, I decided to stay, pretty much anyway, with the one illustration throughout. That's because I'm lazy, though. Really, really, really! Thank you!
Comment from rjpurdy
Fine description of detail Jay. This meets your standard of excellence for sure. I am amazed at how well you keep your cast of characters involved and alive. I am hooked! Great piece of story telling. Rod
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Fine description of detail Jay. This meets your standard of excellence for sure. I am amazed at how well you keep your cast of characters involved and alive. I am hooked! Great piece of story telling. Rod
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Rod, you are the best! Thank you so much for your kind words. You keep the writer in me plugging forward.
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
I enjoyed reading this chapter very much. My corrections are in parenthesis:
When we were alone (add comma)we needed to talk about it.
But, before anything (add comma) I needed to eat a little crow.
Well done!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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I enjoyed reading this chapter very much. My corrections are in parenthesis:
When we were alone (add comma)we needed to talk about it.
But, before anything (add comma) I needed to eat a little crow.
Well done!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Done, and done. Thanks, Chigysiski. Commas will be the death of me yet. Appreciate the eagle eye!
Comment from krprice
Braims was happy to see me back. Delete I knew. Start with He wanted. . .
Make sure you have commas before the conjunction in a series of words, phrases, and clauses.
Braims shook his head. His eyes. . .change to gaze.
Good chapter.
Karlene
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Braims was happy to see me back. Delete I knew. Start with He wanted. . .
Make sure you have commas before the conjunction in a series of words, phrases, and clauses.
Braims shook his head. His eyes. . .change to gaze.
Good chapter.
Karlene
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Karlene. I'll take a close look at these.
Comment from marijmd
When he says stay awake and drink your water(,) take him at his word
The injured are piling up and the chapter shows the devastation of war on the individual.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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When he says stay awake and drink your water(,) take him at his word
The injured are piling up and the chapter shows the devastation of war on the individual.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Oh, the dreaded comma!!! I have such a problem with them, Maria. You only found the one? LOL, thanks, my friend.
Comment from Sankey
Great work again. Thought I had reviewed this before but perhaps I got started and was interrupted for something. Thanks again for another interesting yucky chapter.
One comment not necessarily a spag ok!
He scoured it, rotating it...I wonder if examined would be a better expression? I kow English is a funny language I looked at this before and thought of 'scouring' padswe have here for scrubbing stuff off pots and pans that don't need steel wool or some such. Scour is probably ok; just jawing ok!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Great work again. Thought I had reviewed this before but perhaps I got started and was interrupted for something. Thanks again for another interesting yucky chapter.
One comment not necessarily a spag ok!
He scoured it, rotating it...I wonder if examined would be a better expression? I kow English is a funny language I looked at this before and thought of 'scouring' padswe have here for scrubbing stuff off pots and pans that don't need steel wool or some such. Scour is probably ok; just jawing ok!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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I WILL take a look at that Geoff, for the final edit. All reviews are pasted to my folder for use in the final edit. I do know what you mean about scouring pads. Thanks for pointing it out.
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No worries it kind of hit me as I saw the word there straight away. Good reading. Imagining some of the awful smells hehe. I sis an edit of the Friend Chapter of my book there is some rewards on it atm. Something I picked up a day or two ago drove me to add it to my chapter. Even changed the chapter title so there.
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Why not slip me the link for that chapter?
Comment from JackiO
One would definitely have to read the previous books which I can only guess would be epic! But you tell a story so well it is easy to read only this and thoroughly enjoy it. Honestly I am unable to fault your work. its great!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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One would definitely have to read the previous books which I can only guess would be epic! But you tell a story so well it is easy to read only this and thoroughly enjoy it. Honestly I am unable to fault your work. its great!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Oh, JackiO, you are going to make going to sleep tonight so wonderful. Thank you for your kindness. 6's are so special to me. Like a toy on Christmas. I still likes me toys!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hey, Jay,
No time to be getting sick now. These fellas need to suck it up and get back to the front lines! (*.*)
Did I miss the name of their illness, or were they poisoned?
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Hey, Jay,
No time to be getting sick now. These fellas need to suck it up and get back to the front lines! (*.*)
Did I miss the name of their illness, or were they poisoned?
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2014
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Now, you know I can't spoil it by saying they have -- see? I almost said it. Thanks, Jax. Your reviews are always super and appreciated.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Another crisis, not only keeping the characters on their toes but your readers as well, Jay. Again, this chapter kept me gripped to its words. Giddy
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Another crisis, not only keeping the characters on their toes but your readers as well, Jay. Again, this chapter kept me gripped to its words. Giddy
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Giddy. I needed a warning for this chapter: "Do not read during dinner."
Comment from royowen
Sounds like Giln and Sheleck are bringing something uninvited into the camp, this episode of worry as the previous on was! This doesn't look good, an epidemic is not what they needed at this time, with Doctrex not fully fit! Clever story engineering Jay, cleverly crafted to keep the reader riveted, great change of pace, well done, Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Sounds like Giln and Sheleck are bringing something uninvited into the camp, this episode of worry as the previous on was! This doesn't look good, an epidemic is not what they needed at this time, with Doctrex not fully fit! Clever story engineering Jay, cleverly crafted to keep the reader riveted, great change of pace, well done, Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Roy. Yes, I enjoyed writing this chapter. Glad you enjoyed reading it.