naani (shoulders sag)
naani poetry contest18 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Val;
Sad but very true I could identify with this person because once I was like this lost soul. His sorry fate is the fact that he is forever living a lie and that sooner or later he will hit rock bottom behind his last film liquid of offset pleasure.
Your Naani is written so beautifully and the imagery you have within it is so descriptive and paralyzingly expressive throughout.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read in May the good Lord be with you always Val.
Alex
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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Val;
Sad but very true I could identify with this person because once I was like this lost soul. His sorry fate is the fact that he is forever living a lie and that sooner or later he will hit rock bottom behind his last film liquid of offset pleasure.
Your Naani is written so beautifully and the imagery you have within it is so descriptive and paralyzingly expressive throughout.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read in May the good Lord be with you always Val.
Alex
Comment Written 08-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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I'm glad you have found a way out of this cycle my friend. This is my brother in law, and sadly he is spiraling into death. Nothing anybody does helps, and he's had endless help and support. It is very sad but a too often heard story. I used to feel anger and frustration towards him but now just sadness. Thank you for this very powerful review.
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You are so sincerely welcome my friend and it is indeed my pleasure to tie and my personal experience with your writing.
Alex
Comment from l.raven
HI Val, I know some that have been there...if the reason for why you do the addictions isn't solved ....you go back for the same reason...so sad...very well written...small poem with a big meaning...luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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HI Val, I know some that have been there...if the reason for why you do the addictions isn't solved ....you go back for the same reason...so sad...very well written...small poem with a big meaning...luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Linda
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your so welcome...xxxoo
Comment from Trybuck
Sounds like someone has given up and is returning to familiar grounds. Hope a friend finds him before it's too late..
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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Sounds like someone has given up and is returning to familiar grounds. Hope a friend finds him before it's too late..
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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Unfortunately, in cases like this friends are the problem. Thank you for the review.
Comment from kiwijenny
I feel the angst...it comes through for sure
Well done......good writing....months of rehab is left behind...
Saddest waste...well done
God bless
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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I feel the angst...it comes through for sure
Well done......good writing....months of rehab is left behind...
Saddest waste...well done
God bless
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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I'm so glad you felt the essence of this naani. Thank you.
Comment from w.j.debi
All that rehab and now he gives up. Oh, the emotion certainly does come through. We are left to wonder the deeper story as to why and how he feels that he must go back to despair instead of continue forward. Sorrowful and poignant.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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All that rehab and now he gives up. Oh, the emotion certainly does come through. We are left to wonder the deeper story as to why and how he feels that he must go back to despair instead of continue forward. Sorrowful and poignant.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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I'm so glad you felt the emotion, and the sorrow of the whole affair. It happens far too often, and very few families escape this problem. Thank for the review.
Comment from Zinnia48
This is a poignant poem about relpase. In just a few well chosen words you told not only this person, but a myriad of persons story. PS There is a bar in my community named "Rehab"! Caroline
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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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This is a poignant poem about relpase. In just a few well chosen words you told not only this person, but a myriad of persons story. PS There is a bar in my community named "Rehab"! Caroline
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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How sad, Caroline, a bar named Rehab. Yes, it unfortunately a very sad story that many can tell.
Comment from Chap Man
Yha, I count twenty two syllables. Sad story of one falling back into his problem, black and black as Hell. Read with interest. Chap Man
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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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Yha, I count twenty two syllables. Sad story of one falling back into his problem, black and black as Hell. Read with interest. Chap Man
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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Thank you, Chap Man.
Comment from Domino 2
This is very observant of human nature and the loser who can't win, Val.
He's not only failed, but he ends up with 'shoulders sagged' on a 'dim city street'. I can empathise.
This doesn't mean he's a bad person - just weak-willed and maybe insecure with the need to gain confidence from booze - not recommended but understandable to anyone who has been there.
Wonderful vivid imagery and depressing atmosphere.
I rarely give sixers for short writes, but I can't help myself here.
Brilliant!
Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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This is very observant of human nature and the loser who can't win, Val.
He's not only failed, but he ends up with 'shoulders sagged' on a 'dim city street'. I can empathise.
This doesn't mean he's a bad person - just weak-willed and maybe insecure with the need to gain confidence from booze - not recommended but understandable to anyone who has been there.
Wonderful vivid imagery and depressing atmosphere.
I rarely give sixers for short writes, but I can't help myself here.
Brilliant!
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2014
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Oh, I do love the word "brilliant" LOL Thank you, Ray, this is my brother in law. As much as he had going for him, he could not stay sober. Right now he's slowly dying; out of money and chances; and has alienated his whole family. I used to feel anger towards him, but finally have just realized the futility. This world is very difficult for some to survive in. I thank you very much for this exceptional - it means the world coming from you.
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Thanks so much for such a kind and thoughtful reply, Val.
I honestly feel very sorry for your brother in law, whatever his faults, and I hope he finds peace and contentment.
Best wishes, my friend, Ray xx
