Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 135 "Sunset Passion"Small and Specialty Poems
15 total reviews
Comment from Erik McGinley
Reminds me of working in an old folks home and watching the delirium of the aged as their eyes sometime blazed, I suppose, with the life of their memories.
The purple clouds were liver spots.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Reminds me of working in an old folks home and watching the delirium of the aged as their eyes sometime blazed, I suppose, with the life of their memories.
The purple clouds were liver spots.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks Erik for you unique comments.
Comment from JBCaine
Treischel-
Not that I know anything about poetry, but I did enjoy this.
Two questions about this line - "Tis then the time that dreamers wile away, - Perhaps an apostrophe rather than a quotation mark before Tis, and don't folks "while" away the time? Anyway, don't take my word for it, but might be worth looking at.
JBCaine-
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Treischel-
Not that I know anything about poetry, but I did enjoy this.
Two questions about this line - "Tis then the time that dreamers wile away, - Perhaps an apostrophe rather than a quotation mark before Tis, and don't folks "while" away the time? Anyway, don't take my word for it, but might be worth looking at.
JBCaine-
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks JB. Yes, you are right about the apostrophe. I didn't notice that. Thanks.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"Sunset Passion" is an excellent Shakespearian sonnet meeting the meter and rhyme scheme requirements of the form.
It has beautiful figurative language and imagery. (mellow clouds now purpled pink) The couplet is very good.
Preston
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Hi, Treischel,
"Sunset Passion" is an excellent Shakespearian sonnet meeting the meter and rhyme scheme requirements of the form.
It has beautiful figurative language and imagery. (mellow clouds now purpled pink) The couplet is very good.
Preston
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you Preston.
Comment from Gungalo
The pull of passion's grip is very strong.
Still prayers arise this ardor last most long.
Wonderful Tom. Absolutely wonderful. You did it and did it well. Such an answer to the challenge of matching the end rhymes. Awesome.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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The pull of passion's grip is very strong.
Still prayers arise this ardor last most long.
Wonderful Tom. Absolutely wonderful. You did it and did it well. Such an answer to the challenge of matching the end rhymes. Awesome.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you Gungalo. I am turning somersaults.
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Smiling at you Tom.
Comment from CowboyToo
Well done for rhyme and meter. The story is nicely told. The following line may be questioned, however:
"The likes of which bard's boisterously sang,"
Perhaps the possessive apostrophe is misplaced.
Anyway a nice effort.
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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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Well done for rhyme and meter. The story is nicely told. The following line may be questioned, however:
"The likes of which bard's boisterously sang,"
Perhaps the possessive apostrophe is misplaced.
Anyway a nice effort.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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Thank yoy Cowboy Too. You are most correct. I fixed it.
