Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, jaq cee , you did an excellent job writing this poem about the one who offers love but receives pain. i enjoyed reading this one....

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013

Many thanks SWJ, sometimes you just need to get it out. xxx

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

This was outstanding, I really liked it. The bitter-sweet, heartfelt message is hauntingly sad however, it does have a rather positive ending. Don't give up on love no matter what the cost may be.
Excellent write.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013

Thank you so much Dean this means a lot to me. You've hit the nail on the head here. :) Jaq xx

Comment from SueZen

Exceptional

Litterally touched me to tears...& laughter too ! Lyrics flow so well with feelings expressed & rhyme well in tune with too.
Pic & red letters on black background very well chosen, adds to content, sentiments ! And then the 'grand finale'...Goodbye My Lover, ohla...an ex-lover of mine burned that for me as farewell gift haha, lovely song full of passion !
Just one suggestion regarding 4th verse:

Myself I proffer to you
yearning
Warm, open heart beats hope
burning

'Glad' (heart) not quite in tune with rest of content ?
And open doesn't rhyme with hoping...

So enjoyed, WELL DONE !

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013

Thanks for this wonderful review and I will take a look at your suggestions. they are very much appreciated xxx

reply by SueZen on 17-Apr-2013

Your welcome Jaq as so enjoyed reading as well as reviewing delightful poem ! Thanks also for other reply & as for'learning'...shall you ever haha...you know what I mean, so take good care of that warm, open heart of yours !
xxx Sue

Comment from Rondeno

Excellent

Heartbreaking. This masterly poem speaks eloquently of one individual's openness, and willingness to embrace love. The fates have decreed, however, that this admirable approach to life is destined to bring suffering. A masterly piece of writing.

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 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013

Thanks for your wonderful review Meehal, as ever it is much appreciated. :) Jaq xx

Comment from Indie Skreet

Excellent

Last lines have too many syllables, you could have my love of love - Achilles Heel with Achilles heel on last line for max impact. This is one of your best girl and thank you for my warning! lol luv ya and stay happy, Indie xx

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 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013

Cheers Indie, always appreciated, I'll look at that. love n hugs xxx

Comment from Alexmi1984

Exceptional

What a sweet way to end a stress-free day! It was a sweet, springy (in that season's perspective) and lovely poem, Jaq! It's true that love is sometimes driving us crazy and this flawless (and fluid) poem shows just that. The beauty of this poem is that its definition of love is not that watery and dried one that romantic comedies have given us over the last decades.

Alex :)

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2013

Alex this is a lovely review and very generour rating. Love can be wonderful, but it can also hurt. The trick is to keep believing in it, :) Jaq xx

Once again many, many thanks xx