Testimony:
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Freedom"... where Angels dare ...
20 total reviews
Comment from OLA THOMAS
UmmH! A very reflective spiritual work. I love the confessional statement. Man is always confronted with many twist in life that changes his thinking and life. You have put a well tailored write up that will be of great help to others.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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UmmH! A very reflective spiritual work. I love the confessional statement. Man is always confronted with many twist in life that changes his thinking and life. You have put a well tailored write up that will be of great help to others.
ola thomas
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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Thanks OLA much appreciate the time and thoughts.
Comment from anabellapongasi
Hi Bic,
Great testimony, my friend. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading the other half of the story! I'm not a technical reviewer so I only read to appreciate the content of this piece. I enjoyed reading this lovely biographical spiritual piece.
Blessings,
Anabella
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Hi Bic,
Great testimony, my friend. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading the other half of the story! I'm not a technical reviewer so I only read to appreciate the content of this piece. I enjoyed reading this lovely biographical spiritual piece.
Blessings,
Anabella
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thank you anabella I have been working on the other four chapters and will post when they are up to speed. I am just glad you could enjoy it as it is without the technical advice ... much appreciated.
Comment from ellie6
I suspect that this is only half of your story, the best is yet to come. Often when one is brought up in Godly household, they reach a crisis point when they reach a crossroads. It is only then that they are brought to see the way ahead.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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I suspect that this is only half of your story, the best is yet to come. Often when one is brought up in Godly household, they reach a crisis point when they reach a crossroads. It is only then that they are brought to see the way ahead.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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It is so true and the rest will follow when I have it edited and up to speed will post when I am ready with it thank you for your words ...
Comment from mbagby23
A very lovely work of art you have written. I grew up in the church as well. I think as a child we were there almost very day of the week. You made some very strong points. I am glad this was on your heart to share.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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A very lovely work of art you have written. I grew up in the church as well. I think as a child we were there almost very day of the week. You made some very strong points. I am glad this was on your heart to share.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Much appreciated I am glad you have some understanding as to what it is like in a home where the Gospel is shared as a family ... glad you could enjoy.
Comment from royowen
Beautifully testified. There are many professed Christians who still have not found the "knowing that you know" faith in Christ, it tends to manifest in pleasing God with good works, "without faith it is impossible to please God" Hebrews 11:6. And you explained it well, "the law of the gospel" no law in the gospel. For it is through grace Eph.2:8-9. We are saved, we need the incumbent Holy Spirit, don't worry John Wesley was a late receiver!, Well done, it is obvious your dad understood! Great testimony, praise Him! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Beautifully testified. There are many professed Christians who still have not found the "knowing that you know" faith in Christ, it tends to manifest in pleasing God with good works, "without faith it is impossible to please God" Hebrews 11:6. And you explained it well, "the law of the gospel" no law in the gospel. For it is through grace Eph.2:8-9. We are saved, we need the incumbent Holy Spirit, don't worry John Wesley was a late receiver!, Well done, it is obvious your dad understood! Great testimony, praise Him! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thanks Roy ... The difference between false religion and true religion is as you pointed out ... one is of works the other is of grace. Regeneration is like the seed planted and albeit it may very well have been planted in me as a young child, but the closing in with Christ, or the act of the new-birth, can happen much later after the seed has been planted. This is the way I understand regeneration . The new-birth is the action that takes place in this "closing in with" and the new creature is born ... by grace through faith alone as an action of your good friend and mine ... The Holy Spirit.
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Well done, keep them coming.
Comment from robyn corum
Very well-written piece about man's foolishness and God's grace. Here are the only two nits I saw:
Thanks for sharing!
1.) Well, I was no longer in a condition of freedom or (independence).
2.) To (anyone) who feels the same despair as I did,
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Very well-written piece about man's foolishness and God's grace. Here are the only two nits I saw:
Thanks for sharing!
1.) Well, I was no longer in a condition of freedom or (independence).
2.) To (anyone) who feels the same despair as I did,
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015
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Thanks Robyn much appreciated ... this was a case of trial and error as I have been practicing my SPAG and thankfully it seems like I might actually understand something about my writing technically, whereas before I had no idea. I have sorted your two nits and have adjusted accordingly ... Thank you. Glad you could read and enjoy as this review with its lack of correction has encouraged me very much ... much obliged.
Comment from I am Cat
man who(m) I cherished
(you use the word "whom" after a preposition... so if it said, to whom, or by whom, you would use the word whom... otherwise, you say, 'who')
'He let me play on the fishing boats he was working on.'
(they say not to end a sentence with a preposition (a preposition is: 'anywhere a squirrel can go: up, on, in, out, around, under... those sorts of words.... so it's better, supposedly, to say: "He let me play on the fishing boats on which he worked."
(see?)
(M)arine (E)lectronics() (E)ngineer(,) (proper name label)
After a hard day's work(,) we would return to a well-covered dinner table(.) (also) my three brothers with grubby hands.
(this last 'phrase' seems almost an 'aside', not a complete thought...I think this entire sentence would read easier if you rearranged the words to say: "My three brothers and I would return home, after a hard day's work, to a well-covered dinner table."
(see how that works better for the reader? It makes it easier for them to 'get' it)
'The gang surrounding me at this time of life(,) were devoted to each other(;) each with their own gift of persuasion.'
(to separate two separate ideas(,) put a comma between the ideas. To continue a sentence with two separate ideas, without ending sentence, insert a semi-colon) :)
(I'm attempting to give a 'teaching tutorial' to the best of my limited ability. ;) ) I hope it helps and that it doesn't, in some way, appear to be condescending... because it's not meant to be at all. I just know that you're asking for help... and, so, I"m attempting to give it.
NOTE: If anyone else reads this, and finds that I'm wrong about anything here... PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JUMP IN AND HELP BIC. I am only attempting to help... and if I'm wrong, I will be the FIRST ONE to admit it. :)
(moving right along) ;)
(I would start this as a new paragraph)
He was(,) by submission(delete this comma) to his call, faithful.
' I can honestly say, knowing now what faith is, I trusted his judgment outwardly over me. However, I did not know what this faith was as a child inwardly. I was not regenerate. '
(I feel that this portion needs to be rewritten somehow... I'm not sure HOW... as I feel it's a very personal part of your story, so I think YOU need to write it... but it needs a bit of work (at least for me) and the last sentence, doesn't work. You would have to say, "I was not regenerated." for it to work... and I still don't think it does. (I asked my daughter AND my husband and it didn't work for either of them). (as a single sentence) ... (sometimes it helps to get an outside thought)
'The knowledge of regeneration.....'
(this entire paragraph is an amazing one... well written and with great insight!)
There were a few occasions when I (was) stopped to actually consider God's hand upon my life.
(I don't think you need the word, 'was')
'Teenage life was very different from my younger years...'
(this is also an amazing paragraph... full of really great thoughts and stated very well)
To any one that feels the same despair(,) I recommend prayer(.)
(T)he prayer of repentance.
The law had worked in me to reveal the knowledge (that) I was a(no comma is needed here) vile, filthy, sinner(...) and there was no escape.'
All that was left for me to do, was to die in my condition; unsaved and unforgiven. However, the despair of sin is only half the story. The other half is yet to be told(;) grace(no comma needed) ... Amazing Grace!
Bic,
I've done my best to edit as best I know how. I think that your 'testimony' is just that... YOURS. I will not, nor should I, edit for content. Nor will I make any suggestions for how you 'feel'... it's not my place to do so. ;)
You feel how you feel because of who you are. And I have no problem with that. I like you for who I know you to be. And for how you treat me. ;)
Also, I think you have a lovely testimony here... and I hope that I have, in some small way, helped it to come along and that my edit choices are understandable.
You may, of course, choose to ignore, or change nothing, or everything, or only some of the things... That is always your choice. And it's fine by me! Now... I am going to attempt to copy all this stuff that took an hour to write... from this tiny little review box up top... to the one down bottom... (wish me luck... sometimes it doesn't work) LOL
also... I have enjoyed reading your work.
Love and laughter to you,
Cat
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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man who(m) I cherished
(you use the word "whom" after a preposition... so if it said, to whom, or by whom, you would use the word whom... otherwise, you say, 'who')
'He let me play on the fishing boats he was working on.'
(they say not to end a sentence with a preposition (a preposition is: 'anywhere a squirrel can go: up, on, in, out, around, under... those sorts of words.... so it's better, supposedly, to say: "He let me play on the fishing boats on which he worked."
(see?)
(M)arine (E)lectronics() (E)ngineer(,) (proper name label)
After a hard day's work(,) we would return to a well-covered dinner table(.) (also) my three brothers with grubby hands.
(this last 'phrase' seems almost an 'aside', not a complete thought...I think this entire sentence would read easier if you rearranged the words to say: "My three brothers and I would return home, after a hard day's work, to a well-covered dinner table."
(see how that works better for the reader? It makes it easier for them to 'get' it)
'The gang surrounding me at this time of life(,) were devoted to each other(;) each with their own gift of persuasion.'
(to separate two separate ideas(,) put a comma between the ideas. To continue a sentence with two separate ideas, without ending sentence, insert a semi-colon) :)
(I'm attempting to give a 'teaching tutorial' to the best of my limited ability. ;) ) I hope it helps and that it doesn't, in some way, appear to be condescending... because it's not meant to be at all. I just know that you're asking for help... and, so, I"m attempting to give it.
NOTE: If anyone else reads this, and finds that I'm wrong about anything here... PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JUMP IN AND HELP BIC. I am only attempting to help... and if I'm wrong, I will be the FIRST ONE to admit it. :)
(moving right along) ;)
(I would start this as a new paragraph)
He was(,) by submission(delete this comma) to his call, faithful.
' I can honestly say, knowing now what faith is, I trusted his judgment outwardly over me. However, I did not know what this faith was as a child inwardly. I was not regenerate. '
(I feel that this portion needs to be rewritten somehow... I'm not sure HOW... as I feel it's a very personal part of your story, so I think YOU need to write it... but it needs a bit of work (at least for me) and the last sentence, doesn't work. You would have to say, "I was not regenerated." for it to work... and I still don't think it does. (I asked my daughter AND my husband and it didn't work for either of them). (as a single sentence) ... (sometimes it helps to get an outside thought)
'The knowledge of regeneration.....'
(this entire paragraph is an amazing one... well written and with great insight!)
There were a few occasions when I (was) stopped to actually consider God's hand upon my life.
(I don't think you need the word, 'was')
'Teenage life was very different from my younger years...'
(this is also an amazing paragraph... full of really great thoughts and stated very well)
To any one that feels the same despair(,) I recommend prayer(.)
(T)he prayer of repentance.
The law had worked in me to reveal the knowledge (that) I was a(no comma is needed here) vile, filthy, sinner(...) and there was no escape.'
All that was left for me to do, was to die in my condition; unsaved and unforgiven. However, the despair of sin is only half the story. The other half is yet to be told(;) grace(no comma needed) ... Amazing Grace!
Bic,
I've done my best to edit as best I know how. I think that your 'testimony' is just that... YOURS. I will not, nor should I, edit for content. Nor will I make any suggestions for how you 'feel'... it's not my place to do so. ;)
You feel how you feel because of who you are. And I have no problem with that. I like you for who I know you to be. And for how you treat me. ;)
Also, I think you have a lovely testimony here... and I hope that I have, in some small way, helped it to come along and that my edit choices are understandable.
You may, of course, choose to ignore, or change nothing, or everything, or only some of the things... That is always your choice. And it's fine by me! Now... I am going to attempt to copy all this stuff that took an hour to write... from this tiny little review box up top... to the one down bottom... (wish me luck... sometimes it doesn't work) LOL
also... I have enjoyed reading your work.
Love and laughter to you,
Cat
Comment Written 06-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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Hi cat ...much appreciated. I know this is one of my pieces unfinished due to spag and re writes. I hadn't figured on you giving it a review so I WASN'T READY FOR THIS ... however I will notify you when I'm working on it cause I really need to go through my entire work and edit and rearrange .... This is very much appreciated and will be useful when I come round to fixing it.
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Hey Cat ... after you reviewing this piece I had to go over it all and suss it all out which is a good thing it kept me busy and I was brushing up on my punctuation understanding also ... could you give it a once over again to see what you think as Ive taken on board your advice and made some other technical changes see how it reads and pay attention to the punct ...much appreciated, well your the one that wanted to review it lol.lol. Truly appreciated and much obliged to you for your help and assistance as always.
Comment from Just Alyx
(Really sorry about the mix around; you'll need to go to chapter two to read the other review after leaving this on Two by mistake. Oops. Fixed.)
Okay, cool. Sorry I missed that last opportunity, Bic, but I should've checked this sooner: I'd expected each chapter to be long. They're short and I could've done it sooner. Never mind.
You accepted that my viewpoint is of a non-believer that believes in the right of others to believe (ha, care for another one?), so I approached this in the way I usually do: how I think it will be received on a literary level.
I loved the back story on your father, for starters, and it showed well how much of a guiding light he was in your actions and confusions when in trouble. I thought it was a good strong intro to what would follow in the style you chose. You obviously want to reach as broad an audience as you can through the "common man" reach and I liked it; it was easy to warm to.
Those of like mind would probably enjoy it, or at the least it would stir curiosity because of the humility woven in. For what it's worth, I think you achieved your aims for reader investment. I see most believers in God as very interested in the opinions of other believers and their experiences that forged their choices.
On the techie side, only a couple of typos and punctuation offers you might use, otherwise I found it clear, sequential, easy to follow and interesting; the simplicity works for it:
My father was a lay preacher. ... walk to church [where] he would
# To walk with a man is to know a man, "...can two walk together except they are agreed?"---loved this; your dad sounded like a fine man.
As a child I was under the law the company of my father for many years that[,] as I sat to watch him leave this world[,] I questioned my need for salvation--would read better??
I had accepted this man's faith and the faith of my mother[,] but the question now struck me personally[:] did I have faith? The honest answer[:] I was still blind in my sin and a stranger to the Almighty God of heaven. ....??
In the following para---"I searched the boundaries of this life and its sin"---I would've expected 'sins', but maybe it was intended as all wrongdoings being one collective sin?
I was never ashamed of what I had become. What had I become, well, I was no longer in a condition of freedom or independent.---this would read better as:
... I was no longer in a condition of freedom, or independent. ....OR
... I was no longer in a condition of freedom or [independence].
There were a few occasions [where] I was stopped to actually consider God's hand upon my life. However, I could not understand what I was [supposed] to do to make things right.
The law had worked in me to reveal the knowledge that I was a vile, filthy(,) sinner---no comma.
Cheers, Bic. Hope my observations were useful, despite my lack of knowledge on the subject. I don't follow books, as you know, but I'll follow the other chapters when more accumulate (need the continuity), then send you my impressions thru PM. Take it easy and keep smilin'. JA.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013
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(Really sorry about the mix around; you'll need to go to chapter two to read the other review after leaving this on Two by mistake. Oops. Fixed.)
Okay, cool. Sorry I missed that last opportunity, Bic, but I should've checked this sooner: I'd expected each chapter to be long. They're short and I could've done it sooner. Never mind.
You accepted that my viewpoint is of a non-believer that believes in the right of others to believe (ha, care for another one?), so I approached this in the way I usually do: how I think it will be received on a literary level.
I loved the back story on your father, for starters, and it showed well how much of a guiding light he was in your actions and confusions when in trouble. I thought it was a good strong intro to what would follow in the style you chose. You obviously want to reach as broad an audience as you can through the "common man" reach and I liked it; it was easy to warm to.
Those of like mind would probably enjoy it, or at the least it would stir curiosity because of the humility woven in. For what it's worth, I think you achieved your aims for reader investment. I see most believers in God as very interested in the opinions of other believers and their experiences that forged their choices.
On the techie side, only a couple of typos and punctuation offers you might use, otherwise I found it clear, sequential, easy to follow and interesting; the simplicity works for it:
My father was a lay preacher. ... walk to church [where] he would
# To walk with a man is to know a man, "...can two walk together except they are agreed?"---loved this; your dad sounded like a fine man.
As a child I was under the law the company of my father for many years that[,] as I sat to watch him leave this world[,] I questioned my need for salvation--would read better??
I had accepted this man's faith and the faith of my mother[,] but the question now struck me personally[:] did I have faith? The honest answer[:] I was still blind in my sin and a stranger to the Almighty God of heaven. ....??
In the following para---"I searched the boundaries of this life and its sin"---I would've expected 'sins', but maybe it was intended as all wrongdoings being one collective sin?
I was never ashamed of what I had become. What had I become, well, I was no longer in a condition of freedom or independent.---this would read better as:
... I was no longer in a condition of freedom, or independent. ....OR
... I was no longer in a condition of freedom or [independence].
There were a few occasions [where] I was stopped to actually consider God's hand upon my life. However, I could not understand what I was [supposed] to do to make things right.
The law had worked in me to reveal the knowledge that I was a vile, filthy(,) sinner---no comma.
Cheers, Bic. Hope my observations were useful, despite my lack of knowledge on the subject. I don't follow books, as you know, but I'll follow the other chapters when more accumulate (need the continuity), then send you my impressions thru PM. Take it easy and keep smilin'. JA.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013
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Excellent JA ...
... will get onto the spag corrections and other adjustments when I feel up to it, just thought I'd let you know I had read this.
This is what reviewing should be about and you have given me more encouragement than all the stars put together. I agree just because you do not necessarily believe where I come from in my spirituality or system of understanding does not mean you can not mark as a litery read and thats more what I d like to hear about.
Much appreciate the time and effort to read and review and will talk soon. This tells me JA I can write something ... which i was not sure I could do ... properly!
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Those are the best responses I could've hoped for, Bic, and I'm glad you let me know you caught up. Thanks, you're a real friend, writer. I've always noticed there's a special kind of harmony between people who accept each other's opposing beliefs (whatever issue) without trying to change them. It's more respectful and where I've always made my strongest friendships (when the constancy is there on both parts, I mean). I'm happy the edits were useful and lovely of you to give me a nom as well, thank you. I said that here now because I'm off for the Easter break and only have time to explore one more write. Cheers, bud, and for the support of my review efforts. Appreciated. We'll catch up :) Cruise. Your mate, JA.
Comment from Indie Skreet
whilst I do not share the same outlook as you, I can respect your own faith. .this was a well written biographical piece and it is often more interesting to read from another view point best wishes Indie
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2013
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whilst I do not share the same outlook as you, I can respect your own faith. .this was a well written biographical piece and it is often more interesting to read from another view point best wishes Indie
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2013
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No worries ... thanks for the read !
Comment from Elainajulia
Very well written. I could really feel where you were coming from with your story. Although my mother nor father were preachers, I too have questioned my faith. Keep it up!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2013
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Very well written. I could really feel where you were coming from with your story. Although my mother nor father were preachers, I too have questioned my faith. Keep it up!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2013
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I have more chapters to follow and will post when able, glad you could enjoy as it is a cherished piece to me ... my testimony in complete form that is !
