My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 156 "Summer Breeze"All of my poems of release.
13 total reviews
Comment from bkbehera
"To live the life I've often dreamt
and have dreams all come true.
To see them today right here and now,
in everything that I do. "
It happens very often, even with me.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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"To live the life I've often dreamt
and have dreams all come true.
To see them today right here and now,
in everything that I do. "
It happens very often, even with me.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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I am so glad it happens for you bkbehera, thank you for reading my poem. :) Jaq x
Comment from Eliza M
This is a sensitive and introspective piece that has a melancholy tone. I know exactly what you mean when you talk of living compared to just existing.
The second line of the third stanza is a little awkward if you don't mind me saying Jaq, it loses rythmn slightly and sounds a little stilted. Perhaps -
'a blessing that was given' might be an alternative? Just a suggestion. Hope you don't mind.
I really like this little poem and I always respect the way you tackle personal and sensitive issues in your writing. Liz.
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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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This is a sensitive and introspective piece that has a melancholy tone. I know exactly what you mean when you talk of living compared to just existing.
The second line of the third stanza is a little awkward if you don't mind me saying Jaq, it loses rythmn slightly and sounds a little stilted. Perhaps -
'a blessing that was given' might be an alternative? Just a suggestion. Hope you don't mind.
I really like this little poem and I always respect the way you tackle personal and sensitive issues in your writing. Liz.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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You never need to apologise for giving me advice Liz, it's how I learn. I have implemented it. Thanks for your kind and helpful review my friend. :) Jaq x
Comment from Chris Tee
New dreams do come along and sometimes they do come true as well. This poem titled "Summer Breeze" is an absolutely wonderful and sweet poem. I like your alliteration in silky soft and soft summer. Great poetry!
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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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New dreams do come along and sometimes they do come true as well. This poem titled "Summer Breeze" is an absolutely wonderful and sweet poem. I like your alliteration in silky soft and soft summer. Great poetry!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2012
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Thank you so much Chris. It posted before I attached the picture. Not sure what's happening. Thanks for your very kind review. :) Jaq x
