Comment from Tina McKala

Excellent

"your arms encircle me" this was splendid line!! It was a great poem, great wording, nice approach, though it was about missing a lost love, it was not melodramatic or pathetic. Great job!

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2012

Thank you so much Tina, always a pleasure to have you review my poems. :) Jaq x

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

A lost love due to a break up or death is hard to bear very well planned out and written good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2012

Thank you so much for your review and good luck wishes. :) Jaq x

Comment from Earl of Oxford

Excellent

Top romantic yet very sad nonet of a bereaved love, Jaq.

Each line stands alone, whereas in some nonets I find they're forced to meet syllable count.

I'm not sure about the 'dead/head' rhyme, though that's probably just me. Maybe more poetic:

Thoughts (or 'dreams') of you
in tears
shed

I'll understand you ignoring me. :-)

Good luck in the contest.

Best wishes, Ray

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2012

I would never ignore your help Ray. I like your ending. :) Jaq x

reply by Earl of Oxford on 16-Oct-2012

Sometimes I fear I poke my nose in too much, and I honestly never wish to sound a smart-arse.

Cheers, Jaq. xx

reply by the author on 16-Oct-2012

Sometimes someone looking in from the outside can see things you have missed, or a way to enhance what you've written. I am open to all and any forms of constructive criticism. :) Jaq x

Comment from Ekim777

Excellent

What a tragic poem, if I understood it well enough. If love in relationship is the pinnacle of life itself, how cruelly ironical that memories of such moments might plague as we face the one great tragedy of our lives; our demise. Of course we can never be sure of the validity of our poet's words.What with the ebbing of the life blood and thoughts of you in my head." In such a situation, one can only wish the living, a long life. -Ekim777

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 Comment Written 16-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2012

Thank you so much for your insightful review Ekim. :)Jaq x

Comment from 4tulips

Excellent

I think you did a great job for this contest. Your words that you used to display and describe a lover's lament were excellent. I loved that you kept the structure for this poem. Thank you for sharing your poem.

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 Comment Written 16-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2012

Thanks for your lovely review 4tulips. :) Jaq x