Knight in Tarnished Armor
Based on real life event27 total reviews
Comment from suneagle
Written with passion and feeling nicely conveyed through your narrative and dialogue. Well done.
"Ok, just rest now."
(The accepted spellings are "OK" in capital letters or "okay" in lower case.)
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Written with passion and feeling nicely conveyed through your narrative and dialogue. Well done.
"Ok, just rest now."
(The accepted spellings are "OK" in capital letters or "okay" in lower case.)
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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suneagle, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my work. I appreciate the eagle eye sighting of an error and have changed.. again thank you ever so much... jlsavell
Comment from cinnamongirl
What a sweet, romantic story this is. The wisdom of Emma is profound and true. Our service men come back the men they were with demons in tow. How those demons are perceived by the people they love can affect their behavior. Thank you for writing this beautiful piece.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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What a sweet, romantic story this is. The wisdom of Emma is profound and true. Our service men come back the men they were with demons in tow. How those demons are perceived by the people they love can affect their behavior. Thank you for writing this beautiful piece.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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cinnamongirl, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my work. I am truly humbled... jlsavell
Comment from alexisleech
I ready loved this beautiful story. Apart from being very well written, it holds a very strong message that many should hear. It is to easy to give up on someone when they start wandering down the wrong path, whatever the circumstances. The grass is not always greener, and forgiveness can heal more than one heart.Just one little glitch. 'several frayed envelop(e)s'
Alexis x
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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I ready loved this beautiful story. Apart from being very well written, it holds a very strong message that many should hear. It is to easy to give up on someone when they start wandering down the wrong path, whatever the circumstances. The grass is not always greener, and forgiveness can heal more than one heart.Just one little glitch. 'several frayed envelop(e)s'
Alexis x
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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alexisleech, oh my thank you ever ever so much for such an exceptional review!! I am truly humbled. jlsavell
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello to you jlsavell
What a shame for some reason FS won't allow me to give you the 6 stars you deserve.
In my opinon no way can any one top such a beaurful and emontional true lie story as your.
Gert
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Hello to you jlsavell
What a shame for some reason FS won't allow me to give you the 6 stars you deserve.
In my opinon no way can any one top such a beaurful and emontional true lie story as your.
Gert
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Gert sherwood, thank you once again sweet friend. I hope to get inot your port today.. jlsavell
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You are welcome jlsavell
Yes it would be nice if you drop by
Gert
Comment from Julie G
A lovely, lovely story. Carefully plotted and builds in tension at just the right pace. Not over the top in foolish romantic nonsense, just telling the story that could be Everyman and Everywoman who face each other when rejoined after a war in a very sweet romantic way. I truly admire your work here. Lessons to be learned about what true love is. And as for romance? Well, that part is just right, too. Beautifully done. Everyone should have such a wise granny.
Julie G
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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A lovely, lovely story. Carefully plotted and builds in tension at just the right pace. Not over the top in foolish romantic nonsense, just telling the story that could be Everyman and Everywoman who face each other when rejoined after a war in a very sweet romantic way. I truly admire your work here. Lessons to be learned about what true love is. And as for romance? Well, that part is just right, too. Beautifully done. Everyone should have such a wise granny.
Julie G
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Julie G, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my work. I always always look forward to your ewviews. again thank you.. jlsavell
Comment from fdgsr
What a beautiful love story. I did not check the grammar or spelling. I did not note any awkward transitions, or irrational constructions. I did not note any errors of syntax, logic, or misunderstood statements. I did not need to. It was all there as it should be. Thank you for this reminder of our mortality and that memories are all we have to take with us when we go. Life is our memories, good, bad, and ugly, but the beautiful memories may be tinged with remorse, regret, or futility. Life goes on...
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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What a beautiful love story. I did not check the grammar or spelling. I did not note any awkward transitions, or irrational constructions. I did not note any errors of syntax, logic, or misunderstood statements. I did not need to. It was all there as it should be. Thank you for this reminder of our mortality and that memories are all we have to take with us when we go. Life is our memories, good, bad, and ugly, but the beautiful memories may be tinged with remorse, regret, or futility. Life goes on...
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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fdgsr, as always I am truly humbled by your review and the six stars. I, as an amateur writer, never expect such seasoned writers to give my work a six and when one does, especially one I respect immensely, it encourages me to keep writing, again thank you eve so much sweet friend.. jimi
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I have a policy that I do not try to prove myself right, or expect anyone to prove herself right. If I look for wrong, it is there for me. My effort is to correct myself when wrong. Khalil Gibran said in The Prophet, that teachers should lead their students to the thresholds of their own minds, not give them the understanding of the professor. I try to read many of your works, but I admit that I don't read all of them. When I come across one that is exceptional, I always have some 6s in my bag. Keep writing.
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You are so sweet. How are you doing?
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a wonderfully tender and heart-wrenching tale this is - I have two corrections for you before we get any further into the review: 1)"Many never come back (from) war..." and 2) "...locked the drawer. It look(ed) the same...". Those were the only slight edits needed that I saw - as for the rest of this compelling story, I wouldn't change a thing. It's wonderful. Your narritive voice is excellent and you tell this sweet, romatic tale with absolute love that flows with every word. Beautiful!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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What a wonderfully tender and heart-wrenching tale this is - I have two corrections for you before we get any further into the review: 1)"Many never come back (from) war..." and 2) "...locked the drawer. It look(ed) the same...". Those were the only slight edits needed that I saw - as for the rest of this compelling story, I wouldn't change a thing. It's wonderful. Your narritive voice is excellent and you tell this sweet, romatic tale with absolute love that flows with every word. Beautiful!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Ideasaregems-Dawn, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and rview my work.Catching those annoying nits are so appreciated, thank you. I appreciate you very very much... jlsavell
Comment from Dave M
Jimi,
This memoir must've been hard for you to write, and I hope things worked out. I hate to say this, but the many spags and nits in this post have prevented me from giving it six stars. Even so, it is a compelling post. I don't believe that anyone can upgrade a five-star review, but if you fix the nits, I'll try.
"It was a hot humid summer day [of at] Emma's funeral[This sentence should end here] [and as As] I stood amid the mourners at the burial tent, all I could think of was her very last words to me before she succumbed to the results of old age exacerbated by juvenile diabetes."
"One-day [One day, no hyphen] , you'll understand."
"She's delirious." This is your inner thoughts and should be put in italics. If your word processor can't handle italics, single quotes will do.
"However, there was no hint of physical intimacy observed, but both seemed to be enamored with each other." The word, "however," is unnecessary. Also, phrases like "there was" are best avoided. I'd write, "No hint of physical intimacy struck my eyes, but both seemed to be enamored with each other."
"It looks [looked] the same and it took only one attempt to unlock this secret compartment."
"My mind is playing tricks; it is her memory that makes her voice real{, which is all}." The last three words are unnecessary. OW, this sentence should either be put in the past tense or into italics.
"...for on each one of them, a lipstick print." I'd write, "...for on each one of them lay a lipstick print."
"But Granny, I don't think he has courage and conviction. I use too [used to]."
"Moreover, if you take anything from (here is a spurious line break}
this, remember one very important thing. " (An unwanted space)
Dave
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Jimi,
This memoir must've been hard for you to write, and I hope things worked out. I hate to say this, but the many spags and nits in this post have prevented me from giving it six stars. Even so, it is a compelling post. I don't believe that anyone can upgrade a five-star review, but if you fix the nits, I'll try.
"It was a hot humid summer day [of at] Emma's funeral[This sentence should end here] [and as As] I stood amid the mourners at the burial tent, all I could think of was her very last words to me before she succumbed to the results of old age exacerbated by juvenile diabetes."
"One-day [One day, no hyphen] , you'll understand."
"She's delirious." This is your inner thoughts and should be put in italics. If your word processor can't handle italics, single quotes will do.
"However, there was no hint of physical intimacy observed, but both seemed to be enamored with each other." The word, "however," is unnecessary. Also, phrases like "there was" are best avoided. I'd write, "No hint of physical intimacy struck my eyes, but both seemed to be enamored with each other."
"It looks [looked] the same and it took only one attempt to unlock this secret compartment."
"My mind is playing tricks; it is her memory that makes her voice real{, which is all}." The last three words are unnecessary. OW, this sentence should either be put in the past tense or into italics.
"...for on each one of them, a lipstick print." I'd write, "...for on each one of them lay a lipstick print."
"But Granny, I don't think he has courage and conviction. I use too [used to]."
"Moreover, if you take anything from (here is a spurious line break}
this, remember one very important thing. " (An unwanted space)
Dave
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Dave, thank you so very much my wonderful friend. There is no need to upgrade, it is your help and your comments and your review I value most.. Better than any star my friend, than any star.. thank you so very very much.. jimi
Comment from Spiritual Echo
The names may have been changed to protect the guilty, but the story...it has a life of its own. Whatever measure is authentic, there is no question that the essence is a real life truth.
This is the kind of post where the author hits the last period, runs through spell check, crosses her arms and weeps, forgetting that all that feeling was deposited on a page and mourns.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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The names may have been changed to protect the guilty, but the story...it has a life of its own. Whatever measure is authentic, there is no question that the essence is a real life truth.
This is the kind of post where the author hits the last period, runs through spell check, crosses her arms and weeps, forgetting that all that feeling was deposited on a page and mourns.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Spiritual Echo, as always I look forward to your reviews and as always each time I recieve an exceptional or an excellent from such an accomplished writer, I am humbled and it gives me courage and encouragement to keep on. Again thank you ever so much my friend... jimi
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What a beautiful story this is and it's based in truth, no less. When we love it's for better or for worse, so we don't leave our mate when he needs our love the most. Wondeful ending!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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What a beautiful story this is and it's based in truth, no less. When we love it's for better or for worse, so we don't leave our mate when he needs our love the most. Wondeful ending!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2012
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Phyliss Stewart, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my offering. I appreciate you very much.... jlsavell