Comment from mumsyone

Excellent

All I ever wanted but never had a chance,
Was at least to compete in life's wonderful dance.

Nicely done, with good rhyme and meter and a good message. Good repeat line, too.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012

Thank you mumsyone. Much appreciated. :) Jaq x

Comment from terry drake

Excellent

If you started with your first verse and than used your repeat line you could go two more verses before you repeated that line again. Then do the same thing for verse four and five with the repeat line to follow, that way we don't get bored with your repeating the same line five times.

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 Comment Written 29-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012

Much appreciated as always Terry it's great to hear your constructive critique. I will definitely look at that. :) Jaq x

Comment from J. Dark

Excellent

This is such a clever and interesting poem, I had to stop by to comment. Your repeating line was spectacular and really works. Your flow is graceful and your rhyme is very good. I loved your penultimate verse about roles in reverse and how your reason for living may yet set you free. I was truly glad I read this - there is something special about it.

Kindest of regards,

Mrs D :-)

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 Comment Written 29-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012

Thank you so much for your kind appraisal Mrs D. :) Jaq x