Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "My Nightmare."memiors from my life experiences.
34 total reviews
Comment from reconciled
Hey Keemosobie, this is brilliant! I loved the story, and the poem at the end.Very clever.The story is captivating, and compelling.Great read-God bless you-Rec.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Hey Keemosobie, this is brilliant! I loved the story, and the poem at the end.Very clever.The story is captivating, and compelling.Great read-God bless you-Rec.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thank you.
Comment from uniqueauthor
This is a well written story, I guess all I can say is, I can't wait to read the book. Since this is a true story, do you mind if I ask it he was you? It's hard to tell the turth, but oh, what a tattered webe we weave when at first we pactaice to deceive. It would have been hard enought to know that Adam was dead, but from the poem at the end living with the knowledge that he, on a deeper plain than the child wanted to admit, Adam was dead and he killed him.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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This is a well written story, I guess all I can say is, I can't wait to read the book. Since this is a true story, do you mind if I ask it he was you? It's hard to tell the turth, but oh, what a tattered webe we weave when at first we pactaice to deceive. It would have been hard enought to know that Adam was dead, but from the poem at the end living with the knowledge that he, on a deeper plain than the child wanted to admit, Adam was dead and he killed him.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Yes it's me. Only im not completely sure this happened. When I was younger i had trouble deciphering my dreams from reality.
This could all be a dream or a series of them.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, keimosobie, i think you did a great job writing this story about the things that happened in the vacant lot that day. that's so sad. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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this is very well written, keimosobie, i think you did a great job writing this story about the things that happened in the vacant lot that day. that's so sad. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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thanks
Comment from Cheryl Baker
Well, you sure have a horror story here. It was fully engaging and a really dreadful thing to have happened. You left a little doubt, when you wrote your last sentence before the poem.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Well, you sure have a horror story here. It was fully engaging and a really dreadful thing to have happened. You left a little doubt, when you wrote your last sentence before the poem.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Yes I'm not really sure. When I was a kid I had difficulty separating my dreams from reality so things I remember as facts sometime were not.
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Not a good thing to have in your head, however it got there. These things do happen though in Australia people bury or have others bury them in sand. I can't imagine anything worse than being buried alive. Good luck in the contest. You have a good entry. Cheryl
Comment from kenzi'spoems
wow. this was crazy good! after i finished it i just sat here looking at the screen. i wish i could write this well! thank you so much for sharing this with me! it is much appreciated. keep up the good work. may your light shine all in his time. Blessings,
Forever,Kenzi
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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wow. this was crazy good! after i finished it i just sat here looking at the screen. i wish i could write this well! thank you so much for sharing this with me! it is much appreciated. keep up the good work. may your light shine all in his time. Blessings,
Forever,Kenzi
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thank you I'm glad u enjoyed it
Comment from pickthorn
A very interesting story if not somewhat confusing. If Adam was still missing at the conclusion of this story then what was going on with the bulldozer and the police roping off an area where reader assumed the body was found. Good story but a bit confusing.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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A very interesting story if not somewhat confusing. If Adam was still missing at the conclusion of this story then what was going on with the bulldozer and the police roping off an area where reader assumed the body was found. Good story but a bit confusing.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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That's just it I wasn't sure at the time what was happening. I'm sorry if I confused you
Comment from James McCorkle
You told this story well, and it lasted all the way through. In the end I was still not sure whether you had killed Adam or not. It was quite well done with all the other children mixed up in the story too, so there was always some doubt as to who was to blame. . James McCorkle.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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You told this story well, and it lasted all the way through. In the end I was still not sure whether you had killed Adam or not. It was quite well done with all the other children mixed up in the story too, so there was always some doubt as to who was to blame. . James McCorkle.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review
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Just keep writing. James
Comment from MumEsGirl
Very frank and moving story. It saddens me to know that it is true. I can empathise up to a point, having spent my first 3 years in care.
Adam's death was more to do with circumstances than as a result of what was done or not done. I look forward to reading more of this
kate
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Very frank and moving story. It saddens me to know that it is true. I can empathise up to a point, having spent my first 3 years in care.
Adam's death was more to do with circumstances than as a result of what was done or not done. I look forward to reading more of this
kate
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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thank you for your review and your pardon i appriciate it.
Comment from gramalot8
K - this is a very good storyline and good for this contest. Good dialgo, interaction and emotion from your characters. It was easy to be right there in the action with your description. Good job.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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K - this is a very good storyline and good for this contest. Good dialgo, interaction and emotion from your characters. It was easy to be right there in the action with your description. Good job.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from viaux
So, did you kill him or not? I'm uncertain. Sounds like you did. I found this to be disturbing, but also very well written and realistic. Good dialog, too.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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So, did you kill him or not? I'm uncertain. Sounds like you did. I found this to be disturbing, but also very well written and realistic. Good dialog, too.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2012
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Thanks for the review