Egocentric
A Haiku19 total reviews
Comment from Suchita
Really good. I love the imagery that comes up in the first line.
The only thing is, shouldn't it be sun rises? or am I just reading it wrong?
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Really good. I love the imagery that comes up in the first line.
The only thing is, shouldn't it be sun rises? or am I just reading it wrong?
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Hello Suchita and welcome to the site, just like you, exactly one year ago, I joined this wonderful site and have learned a lot since, I'm sure you'd enjoy your journey on this site; I appreciate your visit and the wonderful review, glad you like it, thank you very much. Again, welcome and a very Happy New Year to you.
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Thanks!and Happy new Year to you aswell.
Comment from Glasstruth
Picture and Haiku are perfect. Love the metaphor in the first line: "dawn peels the darkness" A good start in a poem, story always helps. Great job! Les
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Picture and Haiku are perfect. Love the metaphor in the first line: "dawn peels the darkness" A good start in a poem, story always helps. Great job! Les
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Les my friend, appreciate your time and the wonderful review, glad you like the poem, thank you very much and a very Happy New year to you.
Comment from Modee
Very nice picture and words...but you can keep them dang roosters. They wake me up and waaaaay too early. haha. Otherwise nice post. :)
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Very nice picture and words...but you can keep them dang roosters. They wake me up and waaaaay too early. haha. Otherwise nice post. :)
Comment Written 30-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Modee my friend, glad you like the poem, appreciate your time and the kind review, thank you very much and a very Happy New Year to you.
Comment from ernesto escarro
Egocentric
Dawn turning into bright morning
the sun is taking the change
rooster go with its task
awakening the lazy and slow moving
populace ignoring progress.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Egocentric
Dawn turning into bright morning
the sun is taking the change
rooster go with its task
awakening the lazy and slow moving
populace ignoring progress.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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ernesto my friend, appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you very much and a very Happy New Year to you.
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Thank you for sharing. God bless.
Comment from Joan E.
I admire your metaphor--we humans are all "deluded" and your "rooster" is a symbol for us! I enjoyed your 5-7-5 and your use of alliteration. -Joan
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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I admire your metaphor--we humans are all "deluded" and your "rooster" is a symbol for us! I enjoyed your 5-7-5 and your use of alliteration. -Joan
Comment Written 29-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2011
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Joan my friend, I thank you for the time and wonderful review, appreciate your encouragement my friend, take care.
Comment from Espresso momma
Interesting poem. I used to wake up to the rooster every morning growing up. Don't think I have heard that sound hardly since then. thanks for the poem.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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Interesting poem. I used to wake up to the rooster every morning growing up. Don't think I have heard that sound hardly since then. thanks for the poem.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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My friend, I too used to wake up to the rooster crowing when I was in India, I appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you very much and Happy New Year.
Comment from missy98writer
ameem786,
Your haiku is extremely well written with concrete imagery painting a mental picture in the readers head of nature. The art work is fitting you used. Your haiku is in fine form
with spot on syllable count. Your satori line is effective. In your haiku you have used very good metaphor and great alliteration with the D and R lines. I enjoyed the lines: "dawn peels the darkness ray by ray as the sun rise deluded rooster." I liked the cheeky humor about the dillusions rooster. He loves crowing his morning tune much like Foghorn Leghorn from Bugs Bunny Cartoons. I'd recommed your haiku poem to other readers. Thanks for sharing and I urge you to keep on writing with a creative pen. I bid you a blessed day and a prosperous New Year...Melissa.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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ameem786,
Your haiku is extremely well written with concrete imagery painting a mental picture in the readers head of nature. The art work is fitting you used. Your haiku is in fine form
with spot on syllable count. Your satori line is effective. In your haiku you have used very good metaphor and great alliteration with the D and R lines. I enjoyed the lines: "dawn peels the darkness ray by ray as the sun rise deluded rooster." I liked the cheeky humor about the dillusions rooster. He loves crowing his morning tune much like Foghorn Leghorn from Bugs Bunny Cartoons. I'd recommed your haiku poem to other readers. Thanks for sharing and I urge you to keep on writing with a creative pen. I bid you a blessed day and a prosperous New Year...Melissa.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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Melissa my friend, I am very pleased you like the poem, I thank you for the time and the wonderful review, God bless and Happy New Year to you my friend.
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I forgot, good luck in the Haiku poem contest. I'm using my I-pod in my reviewing and in the device mode on Fanstory.
Melissa.
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Melissa my friend, I thank you for the good luck wishes, God bless you.
Comment from Spitfire
Perfectg haidu form with the 5-7-5 and the reference to nature. Also a phrase plus a fragment and last line ends with a noun. Good alliteration with dawn, dark, deluded.
Love the image of dawn peeling darkness ray by ray. Good luck in contest.
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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Perfectg haidu form with the 5-7-5 and the reference to nature. Also a phrase plus a fragment and last line ends with a noun. Good alliteration with dawn, dark, deluded.
Love the image of dawn peeling darkness ray by ray. Good luck in contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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Hello Spitfire, appreciate your time my friend, thank you very much for the wonderful review, God bless and Happy New Year to you.
Comment from Allison78
I think this is wonderful poem you have written here and I really enjoyed reading it! I think this is so cute, creative and well written, great job on this poem!
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reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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I think this is wonderful poem you have written here and I really enjoyed reading it! I think this is so cute, creative and well written, great job on this poem!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2011
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2011
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Hello Allison, I appreciate your time my friend, glad you like the poem, thank you very much and Happy New Year to you.
