A Man and A Woman
A page from a romance story40 total reviews
Comment from Dusty Traveler
Well written. A special description of marital love w/out all of the hard language and lusting movements. Love as it should be, love that accepts the other, love described as joy and peace.
The word choice seemed gentle as you described the sharing of physical love. Enough description to match the love and beginning they share.
Thanks for an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Well written. A special description of marital love w/out all of the hard language and lusting movements. Love as it should be, love that accepts the other, love described as joy and peace.
The word choice seemed gentle as you described the sharing of physical love. Enough description to match the love and beginning they share.
Thanks for an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you Dusty. I glad you like the poem,
Comment from Mastery
Very good writing, amahra. Your images are real and your coloring of the scene is next to perfect. I could see these two people and it was rather humorous looking for the ring. (must have really happened, eh?) Good job...Bob
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Very good writing, amahra. Your images are real and your coloring of the scene is next to perfect. I could see these two people and it was rather humorous looking for the ring. (must have really happened, eh?) Good job...Bob
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you Mastery. I appreciate you taking the time. Blessings my friend.
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written story showing the reflections each has for the other. It has a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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This is a very well written story showing the reflections each has for the other. It has a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you lucas. I really appreciate the review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from SkyBluePink
Oh, this is precious!
I love the way you wrote this.
I was hanging on every word!
You did fantastic!
Thanks for sharing this with us.
You really brought making love ALIVE!
Keep Writing!
:)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Oh, this is precious!
I love the way you wrote this.
I was hanging on every word!
You did fantastic!
Thanks for sharing this with us.
You really brought making love ALIVE!
Keep Writing!
:)
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you SkyBlueP. I really appreciate your comments my friend.
Comment from Rama Rao
Since it is posted as Romance Fiction, I read it with great interest. So, the man is flabby and with a pot belly protruding like a mudslide into a blue water. However, he ignited her bringing her close to the fire; landing and lifting. Very unlikely. The patch on his bald head and wrinkles oh his forehead shows a mismatch of ages between the couple. The large diamond ring and the big mansion are the keys to her marriage.
A few nits please.
it falls pass her shoulders and waist=past.
and waist, and settles on the edge-no comma here.
the shades=cut the
shot, dumpy
nestled used twice.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Since it is posted as Romance Fiction, I read it with great interest. So, the man is flabby and with a pot belly protruding like a mudslide into a blue water. However, he ignited her bringing her close to the fire; landing and lifting. Very unlikely. The patch on his bald head and wrinkles oh his forehead shows a mismatch of ages between the couple. The large diamond ring and the big mansion are the keys to her marriage.
A few nits please.
it falls pass her shoulders and waist=past.
and waist, and settles on the edge-no comma here.
the shades=cut the
shot, dumpy
nestled used twice.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thanks Ramarao. Blessings as always.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with image Your title captivated my attention and held on to it. A very entertaining script needs no edit. A very good write Mary
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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A good write with image Your title captivated my attention and held on to it. A very entertaining script needs no edit. A very good write Mary
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you Cookson2. Blessings to you.
Comment from amada
This was great, just a frozen moment in the beginning of two lives together. Or the happy end to a courtship. Simple and sensual. A great and uncomplicated love!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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This was great, just a frozen moment in the beginning of two lives together. Or the happy end to a courtship. Simple and sensual. A great and uncomplicated love!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you amada. Blessings to you dear heart.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi amahra,
Your vivid descriptions of this man and woman are miles apart. She so beautiful and him so unappealing...well to me anyway. Then the size of the diamond wedding ring gave me a clue as to why she married the man. However, she seems willing to live with him forever and I find that uplifting and a perfect end to this well written story. Well done. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Hi amahra,
Your vivid descriptions of this man and woman are miles apart. She so beautiful and him so unappealing...well to me anyway. Then the size of the diamond wedding ring gave me a clue as to why she married the man. However, she seems willing to live with him forever and I find that uplifting and a perfect end to this well written story. Well done. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you chey. I write about real character flaws. We all have a little bit of a dark side. I could have made her perfect; but she wouldn't have been real. Blessings my friend.
Comment from Kelly Shackelford
It always amazes me when you can write such a short, short and yet still be able to tell a complete story great job and thanks for sharing it
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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It always amazes me when you can write such a short, short and yet still be able to tell a complete story great job and thanks for sharing it
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you Kelly. I'm touched by what you've said. Blessings your way my friend.
Comment from Herb
And a nice page it is. The piece was very descriptive and easy to follow (naughty too). I don't normally like this type of stuff but this I enjoyed.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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And a nice page it is. The piece was very descriptive and easy to follow (naughty too). I don't normally like this type of stuff but this I enjoyed.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thanks Herb. I tried to give raw sex a face lift. It doesn't have to be dirty to be sex. I hope I've done that. Blessings.
