Squirrelly
A squirrell enjoys Thanksgiving with best friends.60 total reviews
Comment from Sandollar
I thought this was a delightful story and very kid-friendly. I really began to feel for the squirrel, which is a tribute to your good writing.
I have a favorite squirrel I feed often His name is Blackie, for the obvious reason, and he's got a full tail as well.
I have no suggestions because I think it's great as written.
I like the length of it. And the flow moves easily at a good pace. Good luck with the contest.
Sandollar
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
  |
I thought this was a delightful story and very kid-friendly. I really began to feel for the squirrel, which is a tribute to your good writing.
I have a favorite squirrel I feed often His name is Blackie, for the obvious reason, and he's got a full tail as well.
I have no suggestions because I think it's great as written.
I like the length of it. And the flow moves easily at a good pace. Good luck with the contest.
Sandollar
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for the comments and review.
Comment from lola29
Your story was a joy to read, and it would make for a wonderful children's book, even though adults like it, too. Happy New Year!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
|
Your story was a joy to read, and it would make for a wonderful children's book, even though adults like it, too. Happy New Year!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for the review and Happy New Year to you.
Comment from Pablo Lema
I can't think of any improvements its superb children's writing. I think your greatest accomplishment here is rhythm and flow; the writing just moves along, like a stream. You carry a message without being preachy, and it keeps you reading. Great job.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
 |
I can't think of any improvements its superb children's writing. I think your greatest accomplishment here is rhythm and flow; the writing just moves along, like a stream. You carry a message without being preachy, and it keeps you reading. Great job.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Many thanks to you for your kind words and review.
Comment from missy98writer
Mystery Writer,
your story titled Squirrelly is very well written and creative. Your art work is adorable of the squirrel. Excellent use of personification with great descriptive writing and very good narrative. Your sentence structure is great. You managed to established a setting, conflict and a resolution to your story. You story is a wonderful entry in the contest to write in An animal's point of view. I wish you good luck in the contest. Have a happy Holiday.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
|
Mystery Writer,
your story titled Squirrelly is very well written and creative. Your art work is adorable of the squirrel. Excellent use of personification with great descriptive writing and very good narrative. Your sentence structure is great. You managed to established a setting, conflict and a resolution to your story. You story is a wonderful entry in the contest to write in An animal's point of view. I wish you good luck in the contest. Have a happy Holiday.
Melissa.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for your kind assessment and the stars. Happy New Year.
Comment from mermaids
I really enjoyed this story. I feed squirrels in my backyard in addition to the birds. Some of them eat out of the birdfeeders and I love the fluffy tails. You told a story here that is delightful and holds the reader's interest. No revisions needed and best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
|
I really enjoyed this story. I feed squirrels in my backyard in addition to the birds. Some of them eat out of the birdfeeders and I love the fluffy tails. You told a story here that is delightful and holds the reader's interest. No revisions needed and best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for the kind comment, not to mention those beautiful stars.
Comment from Earthwriter
i like it when people write from an animal perspective i thought you did an excellent job on this piece very well presented good job
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
|
i like it when people write from an animal perspective i thought you did an excellent job on this piece very well presented good job
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from lisasolorio1
That is a very cute touching story and hopefully the girls continued on in feeding there cute little tale less friend. Happy new years to you as well.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
|
That is a very cute touching story and hopefully the girls continued on in feeding there cute little tale less friend. Happy new years to you as well.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for your kind thoughts and review.
Comment from pugdogy
Bravo,,,,I really enjoyed reading this piece of work. I found it to be well written moving at a steady pace keeping the readers attention. Oh, and lets not forget, I am soo happy you only had little squirrely loose his tail and nothing else...great job on this one.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
|
Bravo,,,,I really enjoyed reading this piece of work. I found it to be well written moving at a steady pace keeping the readers attention. Oh, and lets not forget, I am soo happy you only had little squirrely loose his tail and nothing else...great job on this one.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for the review and comment. Squirrelly is still hanging around.
Comment from LairDog5
Must like a bit silly without a tail! Cute story. The first person perspective works well with it. I didn't notice any spags. I thought perhaps you briefly changed perspectives in a couple spots, notably the 2nd to last paragraph but you may have meant to do that. All in all, I thought this was a cute story that was well crafted.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
|
Must like a bit silly without a tail! Cute story. The first person perspective works well with it. I didn't notice any spags. I thought perhaps you briefly changed perspectives in a couple spots, notably the 2nd to last paragraph but you may have meant to do that. All in all, I thought this was a cute story that was well crafted.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
-
Thank you for the review and kind words.
Comment from Matoshka
What a wonderful story. I could see how proud he was of foraging and finding food, and having special friends next door. I could almost feel him when he lost his beautiful tail and wondered what others would think. I felt him get over his insecurity and go and find his Thanksgiving meal. Now he is a happy, hip hopping squirrel. I enjoyed this very much. Good luck in the contest. Blessings.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
|
What a wonderful story. I could see how proud he was of foraging and finding food, and having special friends next door. I could almost feel him when he lost his beautiful tail and wondered what others would think. I felt him get over his insecurity and go and find his Thanksgiving meal. Now he is a happy, hip hopping squirrel. I enjoyed this very much. Good luck in the contest. Blessings.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
-
He is that, indeed, still hip hopping around town. Thank you for the review.
-
You are so welcome, I enjoyed it very much. I love squirrels. Blessings.
