Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Chasing my Tail."memiors from my life experiences.
65 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, i really like your picture, colleges are so liberal today, teaching wrong ideas and philosophies, i think students should think for themselves. great job
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, i really like your picture, colleges are so liberal today, teaching wrong ideas and philosophies, i think students should think for themselves. great job
Comment Written 02-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010
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thank you.
Comment from AprilShower
Hi, keimosobie.
This poem tells what it is like once you get out of college. In college we have these great dreams. Then we get out into the world, and real life doesn't meet our expectations. We now feel like we are just chasing our tails. The picture and poem go well together.
April
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Hi, keimosobie.
This poem tells what it is like once you get out of college. In college we have these great dreams. Then we get out into the world, and real life doesn't meet our expectations. We now feel like we are just chasing our tails. The picture and poem go well together.
April
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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thank you April
Comment from Lovers Never Tell
I love the way you wrote this. I don't normally care for simply written poetry, but I feel this piece is stronger that way somehow.
Wonderful. =]
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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I love the way you wrote this. I don't normally care for simply written poetry, but I feel this piece is stronger that way somehow.
Wonderful. =]
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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yes i struggled with it the fancier I got the more the message got lost. Thank you.
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welcome.
Comment from DEWalsh
Although I really like the concluding questions, there seems to be a disconnection between the two parts of the poem. While you want to be independent you seem tied to the lover who you are not sure wants the best for you. If you are a ship you need nobody but the sea upon which you sail but if you are a dog you are caught in a downward spiral. I like this a lot but think it could use a bit more editing to eliminate the starting repetition.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Although I really like the concluding questions, there seems to be a disconnection between the two parts of the poem. While you want to be independent you seem tied to the lover who you are not sure wants the best for you. If you are a ship you need nobody but the sea upon which you sail but if you are a dog you are caught in a downward spiral. I like this a lot but think it could use a bit more editing to eliminate the starting repetition.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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The repetition was the tail chasing. It was about teachers when they make us think like they think then we have another teacher and again we change the way we think are we really learning or ust going in circles. thanks for the review.
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I didn't know you were talking about teachers rather than a love. Make it clearer?
Comment from chita
You have great artwork and a good flow with your poem--you are descriptive about what the dog may think but he ends up chasing his tail--you give good description in your poem--well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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You have great artwork and a good flow with your poem--you are descriptive about what the dog may think but he ends up chasing his tail--you give good description in your poem--well done.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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thank you for your review.
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You're welcome!!
Comment from fairydancer
"The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think" James Beattie.
I think this an insightful poem.
Good flow and clear points made.
I can feel the frustration in your speakers words!
As to your last few lines - that is up to your speaker to take it which dirction they want.
Well written - Cally :)))
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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"The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think" James Beattie.
I think this an insightful poem.
Good flow and clear points made.
I can feel the frustration in your speakers words!
As to your last few lines - that is up to your speaker to take it which dirction they want.
Well written - Cally :)))
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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thank you.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi keimosobie,
This is an interesting and thought provoking poem. Also it is clever and even though short it says just what it must and no more. Well done....chey
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Hi keimosobie,
This is an interesting and thought provoking poem. Also it is clever and even though short it says just what it must and no more. Well done....chey
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Belinda
Very clever ... A question to be asked to those professors. Good imagery of a ship ready to sail and a dog chasing its tail. Interesting, with a good concept and simple but striking wording within a poem.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Very clever ... A question to be asked to those professors. Good imagery of a ship ready to sail and a dog chasing its tail. Interesting, with a good concept and simple but striking wording within a poem.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from irsajay
Dog chasing his tail reminded me a cipher chasing his cipher. But, this one has come out much better than the 'proverbial phrase'.
Enjoyed reading a very nice work. Smiling too on a nice artwork and your last two lines of this work.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Dog chasing his tail reminded me a cipher chasing his cipher. But, this one has come out much better than the 'proverbial phrase'.
Enjoyed reading a very nice work. Smiling too on a nice artwork and your last two lines of this work.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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thank you.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your whimsical, thought-provoking verse. I enjoyed your "ship" and "dog" metaphor and the perfect picture you chose to accompany your words. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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I enjoyed your whimsical, thought-provoking verse. I enjoyed your "ship" and "dog" metaphor and the perfect picture you chose to accompany your words. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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thank you.