Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Interlude: A Prayer and a Sermon"An extended story in poem form
15 total reviews
Comment from bhogg
Nicely done indeed. Even though you are calling this free verse (actually evrse!), the rhyme scheme made this an easy read. I've read previous posts and this one fits very well. Wouldn't you know - a mutant leading us to light.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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Nicely done indeed. Even though you are calling this free verse (actually evrse!), the rhyme scheme made this an easy read. I've read previous posts and this one fits very well. Wouldn't you know - a mutant leading us to light.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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I like my evrse free; sometimes my verse too! Typo duly fixed :-). I only added that author note because the first reviewer marked me down for occasionally non-solid rhyme. I always assume poetry is free unless the author specifies or outlines a form, but there you go! I'm glad you found the read smoother than they did! Thanks so much for taking the time.
Mike
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Mike - I'm afraid that I take the caveman approach to poetry.
Me read me like
Me read me no like
I don't count TaDum's, meter, metres (our UK fans), or anything else. I've always enjoyed your work.
Comment from Rasp E
Nicely done, Mike! Sterility and death in religion and hope for life in a defiant, dark creature. Few manage a reversal like that so well. I like this more with each new addition. And so the stage is set for the final battle.
I wish I had a useful comment or two for you, but I kinda just like it the way it is. Have a good one, Erica.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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Nicely done, Mike! Sterility and death in religion and hope for life in a defiant, dark creature. Few manage a reversal like that so well. I like this more with each new addition. And so the stage is set for the final battle.
I wish I had a useful comment or two for you, but I kinda just like it the way it is. Have a good one, Erica.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Erica :-). I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Writing this series has been an interesting experience!
Mike
Comment from Sasha
Yes, I am enjoying this immensely. You have done a superb job in conveying the dark feelings of futility yet leave hope in the wings. Very powerful sermon too. I liked it very much. I look forward to reading more and am quite interested in how you plan to conclude this.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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Yes, I am enjoying this immensely. You have done a superb job in conveying the dark feelings of futility yet leave hope in the wings. Very powerful sermon too. I liked it very much. I look forward to reading more and am quite interested in how you plan to conclude this.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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Thank you! I think there are two chapters to go, but obviously that will depend on where the poetry takes me :-). I've really enjoyed working on this.
Mike
Comment from rama devi
Excellent addition to this saga. Love the definition in your notes--of these marvelous words
Ramollescence - a softening or mollifying
Theandric - created/inspired by the divine
and of "free verse that happens to have some regular tricks up its sleeves."
NOTE- verse has a typo--check it out. :)
the timing has a smooth rhythmic groove with flow and cadence well supported by fine rhyme and slant rhyme...you are good at making slant rhymes that work well.
intense theme, effectively expressed.
Bravo, again.
Strong presentation too.
Best regards, rd
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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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Excellent addition to this saga. Love the definition in your notes--of these marvelous words
Ramollescence - a softening or mollifying
Theandric - created/inspired by the divine
and of "free verse that happens to have some regular tricks up its sleeves."
NOTE- verse has a typo--check it out. :)
the timing has a smooth rhythmic groove with flow and cadence well supported by fine rhyme and slant rhyme...you are good at making slant rhymes that work well.
intense theme, effectively expressed.
Bravo, again.
Strong presentation too.
Best regards, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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I'm glad you liked the rare words; you know I love to dig them out :-). This chapter caused me quite the headache, but thankfully the muse hit me in the end. I only added the suthor's note after the first reviewer marked me down for my slant rhymes, so I was rushing a bit when I typed it!
Thank you :-)
Mike
Comment from Cheryle Rene
This was an interesting piece, very enjoyable. My only comment is that a couple of the stanzas did not "rhyme" in the same fashion as the rest of the piece, breaking up the meter as I was reading and I had to go back to re-read and find my pattern. Maybe it was just me, though. The piece is still very good either way. Thanks for sharing!
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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This was an interesting piece, very enjoyable. My only comment is that a couple of the stanzas did not "rhyme" in the same fashion as the rest of the piece, breaking up the meter as I was reading and I had to go back to re-read and find my pattern. Maybe it was just me, though. The piece is still very good either way. Thanks for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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Thank you, Cheryle. I've used quite a lot of slant and partial rhymes in previous chapters, so it's in keeping with the style. That's also why I don't list the form in the author's notes, as I acknowledge that it's not necessarily consistent, and should hence be treated as Free Verse. Of course, it's not everybody's cup of tea. Thank you for taking the time to read and review :-)
Mike