Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Chapter 12; part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
76 total reviews
Comment from dragonqueen1983
oh dear looks like things aren't going at all well. i can't blame either of them for the way they acted. you have a great story here
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2010
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oh dear looks like things aren't going at all well. i can't blame either of them for the way they acted. you have a great story here
Comment Written 14-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from fionageorge
Things do not look too promising in Steve and Leya's short marriage. Great writing again, excellent use of dialogue, good and fast paced action, and the characters are true to their personalities.
Warmest regards,
Marijke
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2010
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Things do not look too promising in Steve and Leya's short marriage. Great writing again, excellent use of dialogue, good and fast paced action, and the characters are true to their personalities.
Warmest regards,
Marijke
Comment Written 14-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Sharkey
This is well written and your characters and conversations are believable. You have done a good job making the reader feel sympathy for leya while at the same time understanding Steven's anger
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2010
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This is well written and your characters and conversations are believable. You have done a good job making the reader feel sympathy for leya while at the same time understanding Steven's anger
Comment Written 14-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from chaswriter
barbara - You are the best a writing about changing, complex relationships. The arrangement between Steven and Leya is a strange one, but you are dealing with it with interesting conflicts. Well done.
Charlie
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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barbara - You are the best a writing about changing, complex relationships. The arrangement between Steven and Leya is a strange one, but you are dealing with it with interesting conflicts. Well done.
Charlie
Comment Written 13-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review and support. I appreciate both.
Comment from Speedpause
The photo really shows how the character feels, at least I see it. I didn't find any errors in the story. Keep up the great work with your writing. =)
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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The photo really shows how the character feels, at least I see it. I didn't find any errors in the story. Keep up the great work with your writing. =)
Comment Written 13-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from serenityjs
Hmmm.. don't have much background on the story but it sounds like Matt is using Leah and Steven is only angry about the fact that he thinks Leah used him. Which, would make me very angry as well. I like the dialogue in this piece. The characters play their roles well and you show us rather than tell us with their words to each other.
jen
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Hmmm.. don't have much background on the story but it sounds like Matt is using Leah and Steven is only angry about the fact that he thinks Leah used him. Which, would make me very angry as well. I like the dialogue in this piece. The characters play their roles well and you show us rather than tell us with their words to each other.
jen
Comment Written 13-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate it.
Comment from DearlB
This is an interesting, well structured, and well written story That kept my interest until the end. The dialog was realistic and kept the story moving.
Great work,
Dearl
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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This is an interesting, well structured, and well written story That kept my interest until the end. The dialog was realistic and kept the story moving.
Great work,
Dearl
Comment Written 13-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Engaging story, though the narrative seems to create space between the characters and the reader. I like the characters, and the pace is excellent. I look forward to reading more. Ray.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Engaging story, though the narrative seems to create space between the characters and the reader. I like the characters, and the pace is excellent. I look forward to reading more. Ray.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara, this review goes for both this chapter and the previous one (I have been away). I can understand why Steven becomes angry, disillusioned and used by Leya, as she did something so big without his consent. So clever of you to create this new conflict!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Hi, Barbara, this review goes for both this chapter and the previous one (I have been away). I can understand why Steven becomes angry, disillusioned and used by Leya, as she did something so big without his consent. So clever of you to create this new conflict!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review and support. I appreciate both.
Comment from Max Drake
Excellent writing. It's a pity I came in on Chapter 42 (!!), as I feel I may have ruined the other 41 chapters (which I now have to go and read). But let me say that I already have a strong sense of these characters, even though I have no real clue as to what is going on. And that alone is testament to great writing.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Excellent writing. It's a pity I came in on Chapter 42 (!!), as I feel I may have ruined the other 41 chapters (which I now have to go and read). But let me say that I already have a strong sense of these characters, even though I have no real clue as to what is going on. And that alone is testament to great writing.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.