I Can't Wait!
A visit with Santa .........69 total reviews
Comment from HalfHoff
Last minute shoppers crammed the mall. Christmas carolers sang, "Santa Claus is coming to Town." Perfectly trimmed trees with mounds of glistening imitation snow made a winter wonderland. Overstressed mothers waited in line for their precious little ones to tell Santa what special gift they hoped he'd bring on Christmas Eve.
I read this entire first paragraph in one breath -- it is just as I remember it all when my four were small. This is the best ever. Wow. Lea Ann
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Last minute shoppers crammed the mall. Christmas carolers sang, "Santa Claus is coming to Town." Perfectly trimmed trees with mounds of glistening imitation snow made a winter wonderland. Overstressed mothers waited in line for their precious little ones to tell Santa what special gift they hoped he'd bring on Christmas Eve.
I read this entire first paragraph in one breath -- it is just as I remember it all when my four were small. This is the best ever. Wow. Lea Ann
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Lea Ann
I am overjoyed that you liked that first paragraph. I had one reviewer tell me it didn't belong and I should remove it. It was how I remembered it and I am pleased that you do too. Thanks so much for the gracious review. Carol
Comment from The Guardian
Funny slice of life. Our children have an honesty that simply cannot be fictionalized. Their timing is impeccable. I can tell the boy is your grandson -- he has your smile.
I can see you smiling through this story.
Best,
Merle
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Funny slice of life. Our children have an honesty that simply cannot be fictionalized. Their timing is impeccable. I can tell the boy is your grandson -- he has your smile.
I can see you smiling through this story.
Best,
Merle
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Merle
I am flattered that you enjoyed my story and that you liked Gavin's beautiful smile and mine as well. That's just full of warm fuzzies this early Sunday morning.Thank you for the wonderful review....Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from pugdogy
first off=Gavin and Kaitlyn are as cute as buttons. this story is absolutely adorable and I could picture the Santas face when he got all wet and the innocense of chidlren. keep up the great work!!!!
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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first off=Gavin and Kaitlyn are as cute as buttons. this story is absolutely adorable and I could picture the Santas face when he got all wet and the innocense of chidlren. keep up the great work!!!!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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Pugdog
Thank you so much for the compliments about my munchkins and for enjoying the story. I appreciate it very much. Carol
Comment from bookishfabler
First, your grandchildren are adorable. If this was for adults I would remark about all the varying speech tags, but since it's for children, I think it is suitable.
"I'm too old to sit on Santa's lap." Gavin begged.
If you must use a tag other than 'said, I think whined might fit better)
Very nice and very cute too.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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First, your grandchildren are adorable. If this was for adults I would remark about all the varying speech tags, but since it's for children, I think it is suitable.
"I'm too old to sit on Santa's lap." Gavin begged.
If you must use a tag other than 'said, I think whined might fit better)
Very nice and very cute too.
hugs
book
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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Book
You are so right...My mind must be going haywire lately and I certainly appreciate your suggestion. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from RazberryBullet
LOL!!! Looks like Santa's Ho,Ho's turned into Oh,Oh's! Nothing like a surprise ending, so to speak!
Thanks for the chuckle :)
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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LOL!!! Looks like Santa's Ho,Ho's turned into Oh,Oh's! Nothing like a surprise ending, so to speak!
Thanks for the chuckle :)
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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Razberry
Thank you for enjoying my little grand children and their visit with Santa. Smiles, Carol
Comment from TimothyGriffin
Cute short story. Nice use of humor in, "Santa laughed and shook his belly, and then his eyes flew open wide. He lifted Kaitlyn from his lap and his laughter disappeared." I guess that was more than Santa thought he was in for! This little snipet also encaptures so well the unpredictability of children - something we can all relate to. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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Cute short story. Nice use of humor in, "Santa laughed and shook his belly, and then his eyes flew open wide. He lifted Kaitlyn from his lap and his laughter disappeared." I guess that was more than Santa thought he was in for! This little snipet also encaptures so well the unpredictability of children - something we can all relate to. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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Timothy
thank you so much for enjoying my grandchildren's adventure with Santa. I appreciate the reveiw. Carol
Comment from joan marie
I wonder how many times that happens? I needed a good laugh, thank you. It is cold and rainy in Florida. You're grandchildren are precious. joan marie
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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I wonder how many times that happens? I needed a good laugh, thank you. It is cold and rainy in Florida. You're grandchildren are precious. joan marie
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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Joan Marie
Thank you so much for enjoying their adventure. We got our first snowfall yesterday and I wish it was gone already. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Dstern
This almost reads like a poem to me, as the thoughts and actions are described in such short sentences. i would have liked to see more expansion and "fleshing out" of the atmosphere and the characters.Otherwise a fun story!
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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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This almost reads like a poem to me, as the thoughts and actions are described in such short sentences. i would have liked to see more expansion and "fleshing out" of the atmosphere and the characters.Otherwise a fun story!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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Dstem
Sorry you thought the flash fiction was only an average story. In flash fiction, we must keep the word count low and simple. There isn't room for lots of description. I am confused because I have never seen a poem set up in this fashion as my story...but I thank you for stopping by...Carol
Comment from laurelp
I can only wonder how many times that happens to Santas all over the country. This was a fun story. It takes me back oh so long ago. Such a wonderful fun and stressful time of year. Thanks for the read.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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I can only wonder how many times that happens to Santas all over the country. This was a fun story. It takes me back oh so long ago. Such a wonderful fun and stressful time of year. Thanks for the read.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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laurel
Thanks for reading my little munchkins story..Appreciate the review. Carol
Comment from sophster
love the story but the part i did not get was when katilyn could talk because she is only 2 and dancing on her toes pulling her mums arm i have a cousin that is 2 and he can not dance he justshakes his hips !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!it is funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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love the story but the part i did not get was when katilyn could talk because she is only 2 and dancing on her toes pulling her mums arm i have a cousin that is 2 and he can not dance he justshakes his hips !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!it is funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2009
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sophster
Kaitlyn is 2 yrs 7 months and has a vocabulary of a five year old. She is a very smart child and we are very lucky to have her.
Thanks for reading the story and enjoying. Carol
