The Ice Princess
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Flashback! Remembering When"Love, Hate, Conflicts and Fear
30 total reviews
Comment from Phil Kitom
Well this was over so quickly Carol. Just as
I was getting into the chapter it ended, that
shows how good it is. A lot happened she had
her first sexual encounter and adored it and
him too, but then he drops that bomb shell and
that ended it. More please...
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Well this was over so quickly Carol. Just as
I was getting into the chapter it ended, that
shows how good it is. A lot happened she had
her first sexual encounter and adored it and
him too, but then he drops that bomb shell and
that ended it. More please...
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Phil
I have been waiting for a man's opinion on this book so I know if it sounds realistic or not. Thanks for the great review. Carol
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I will certainly tell you
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
Terrific flashback, Carole. You handled the sex very well; hot, erotic, without being coarse. A sad beginning to her adult life, and an even sadder outcome with Trent.
Great addition.
John
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Terrific flashback, Carole. You handled the sex very well; hot, erotic, without being coarse. A sad beginning to her adult life, and an even sadder outcome with Trent.
Great addition.
John
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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John
I really wanted a guy's opinion on the sex scene. Do you really think it came across okay? I have never written that way before and I was kind of worried. Glad you are enjoying the story. CArol
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Carol,
I like this chapter very much
Now to me I see, Riley bringing back the memories of a very steamy love affair( then as the years passed by) she realizes maybe she should get back with Charles( Max) even after she had a child and now a single mom?
Gert
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Hello Carol,
I like this chapter very much
Now to me I see, Riley bringing back the memories of a very steamy love affair( then as the years passed by) she realizes maybe she should get back with Charles( Max) even after she had a child and now a single mom?
Gert
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Gert
At the moment she is resisting that temptation but one can never tell what might happen in their lives. Thanks for the review.
Carol
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Carol you are welcome
Gert
Comment from AnnaLinda
Begin Again,
That was great reading! Lots of good emotions and all kinds of communications going on there! The bed scene was very passionate and the whole chapter made for a great background on their history together!
I liked this line: "Reilly's mind occasionally wandered down memory lane"..and these: "Well, it's been fun. Your pathetic attempts at sex were getting boring anyhow."...Yeah ..right!
I am on to the next chapter:)
sweetLinda
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Begin Again,
That was great reading! Lots of good emotions and all kinds of communications going on there! The bed scene was very passionate and the whole chapter made for a great background on their history together!
I liked this line: "Reilly's mind occasionally wandered down memory lane"..and these: "Well, it's been fun. Your pathetic attempts at sex were getting boring anyhow."...Yeah ..right!
I am on to the next chapter:)
sweetLinda
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Linda
I am so pleased that you are enjoying the book. I hope everyone feels the same. Thanks so much. Carol
Comment from FredCollingwood
You painted a realistic picture of a bad relationship and the feelings of the people involved. I expect Macy to surface soon. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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You painted a realistic picture of a bad relationship and the feelings of the people involved. I expect Macy to surface soon. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Fred
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your comments. CArol
Comment from dmjones
Hi Carol, a good steamy chapter but it brings the present up to date which is what you needed to do. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Hi Carol, a good steamy chapter but it brings the present up to date which is what you needed to do. This is very well written.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Donna
Thanks so much for the feedback. I was worried about this particular chapter. How's your story coming?
Smiles to you, Carol
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It's not yet started. I have it planned in my mind but I have too much else right now to begin writing. I'm finishing up a class tonight, which needed a 2000-2500 story. And I started a flash fiction for ther 23rd contest. Want to do the western contest on Nov. 1 and then of course I want to try the one you are writing for. On top of that I want to keep up with my book. I may be stretching myself a bit what with my job taking up 50 hrs of my week. But I'm really going to try.
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Please don't explode...You and I follow the same road it appears. Do and Do and Do some more...I wish you luck and a moment of peace now and then! Carol
Comment from nor84
I think the title should be FlashBACK, not FlashBANK.
"Hoodlums(!) no good hoodlums is what you all are."
He licked and sucked, sending shockwaves of pleasures (pleasure)
I'm wondering whether it would be more effective to just say: After her first taste, she was insatiable.
wherever is one word
The recruiter said I was Army material." He was proud of his accomplishment>>>>it's evident from what he says and the situation that he's proud of his accomplishment. Any time a writer has to explain the dialog, it's a bad sign. You don't need to explain, since you showed his pride very well.
Can't taste bile in the throat -- it has to get to the tastebuds on the tongue.
Avoid 'suddenly' or 'all of a sudden' --overused and not liked by editors.
check for a possible repeat of 'manhood'.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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I think the title should be FlashBACK, not FlashBANK.
"Hoodlums(!) no good hoodlums is what you all are."
He licked and sucked, sending shockwaves of pleasures (pleasure)
I'm wondering whether it would be more effective to just say: After her first taste, she was insatiable.
wherever is one word
The recruiter said I was Army material." He was proud of his accomplishment>>>>it's evident from what he says and the situation that he's proud of his accomplishment. Any time a writer has to explain the dialog, it's a bad sign. You don't need to explain, since you showed his pride very well.
Can't taste bile in the throat -- it has to get to the tastebuds on the tongue.
Avoid 'suddenly' or 'all of a sudden' --overused and not liked by editors.
check for a possible repeat of 'manhood'.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Nor
Thanks so much again for the help. I have made the corrections and am trying to learn from your suggestions. Some of the things are just a bad habit I have in writing, others are a different viewpoint, one I appreciate very much.
Thanks again. Carol
Comment from L.lora
Carol such a realistic
write and so heart wretching.
How many times have girls
thrown in the towel without
getting further explanations
and just settling.. so sad.
An excellent write and an
easy read..good dialogue
and you traverse the situations
logically. no nits.. :)Lora
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Carol such a realistic
write and so heart wretching.
How many times have girls
thrown in the towel without
getting further explanations
and just settling.. so sad.
An excellent write and an
easy read..good dialogue
and you traverse the situations
logically. no nits.. :)Lora
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Lora
This was one of the chapters are was terrified about posting. I have never written a passionate scene and wondered if it was realistic or just corny.
I am glad that you enjoyed it. Take care.
Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Sarabran
out standing read. I can't wait for the next chapter. You are indeed a storyteller. This chapter kept me spellbound from beginning to end. Sara :)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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out standing read. I can't wait for the next chapter. You are indeed a storyteller. This chapter kept me spellbound from beginning to end. Sara :)
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Sara
You have made my morning!!! I was terrified to post this chapter. fearing it would come off corny. I have never written a sex scene so I wasn't sure if I'd get it right. I really really appreciate your comments and am thrilled that you are enjoying the story. And the stars are icing on the cake!!
Smiles to you,
Carol
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi Carol,
Way to work this chapter. I think it's coming along great. I think you have a way with people, that makes you float like cream.
Here are the lines I still think need some tweeking, and I'll add my suggestions, but you may find a better way, or maybe even disagree, all cool with me.
[] delete
( ) add
Charles Saladino, better known as Max, [was](had been) the forbidden boy next door when Reilly was blossoming from tomboy to ravishing blond[e]?.
That fateful summer[,] (s)he met him(, he was just another hormone raging nineteen-year-old boy) [turned nineteen and his hormones were raging.]
Rumor had it[,] he'd sampled every willing
To an eighteen(-)year(-)old, he was heaven.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Hi Carol,
Way to work this chapter. I think it's coming along great. I think you have a way with people, that makes you float like cream.
Here are the lines I still think need some tweeking, and I'll add my suggestions, but you may find a better way, or maybe even disagree, all cool with me.
[] delete
( ) add
Charles Saladino, better known as Max, [was](had been) the forbidden boy next door when Reilly was blossoming from tomboy to ravishing blond[e]?.
That fateful summer[,] (s)he met him(, he was just another hormone raging nineteen-year-old boy) [turned nineteen and his hormones were raging.]
Rumor had it[,] he'd sampled every willing
To an eighteen(-)year(-)old, he was heaven.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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turtlestage
Hey there, my faithful friend is still trudging along with me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the help. i see that you have posted and as soon as I can get my eyes to stay open, I'll be checking it out. Is the other story on the back burner?
Take care and have a great day...Oh! How's the doggy?
Smiles,
Carol