River Ruse
flash fiction38 total reviews
Comment from skye
Contains all the elements of flash fiction, wrapped up in an ending that was surprising....
Strong images, good characters, good ending.
Poor guy... should have loved his wife; he'd still be alive.
Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Contains all the elements of flash fiction, wrapped up in an ending that was surprising....
Strong images, good characters, good ending.
Poor guy... should have loved his wife; he'd still be alive.
Well done.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thank you, skye, for this kind review. I appreciate your encouraging comments and I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Thanks!
Indy :>)
Comment from wierdgrace
This is so wonderful and what a great horror flick, no errors and no revision, great entry for this contest, and the character and their dialogue, wow.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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This is so wonderful and what a great horror flick, no errors and no revision, great entry for this contest, and the character and their dialogue, wow.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Grace, for all your wonderful and kind comments for my flash fiction story. I so glad you had the chance to read and review.
Thanks!
Indy :>)
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always welcomed
Comment from samuelbrody
Oh, Karyn... You are so good, and baaad at the same time. Poor darling Marty. You had me the whole story even though I thought I knew where it was headed. What a wonderful, err a twist to this amazingly creative peace. You have a really great gift for dialogue. To me, it's the hallmark of a story, then the narrative descriptive value. Your gift is clicking on all cylinders. Michael.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Oh, Karyn... You are so good, and baaad at the same time. Poor darling Marty. You had me the whole story even though I thought I knew where it was headed. What a wonderful, err a twist to this amazingly creative peace. You have a really great gift for dialogue. To me, it's the hallmark of a story, then the narrative descriptive value. Your gift is clicking on all cylinders. Michael.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Hey there, Michael! Wow...you just about made my head explode with all these great comments for my story. Thanks for taking the time to read and review and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'm not much of a crime writer, so this one took lots of editing and re-editing to try to get it right. I tried to make at least one of my characters nice, but they wouldn't let me. lol
Thank you so much dear Michael!
Karyn :>)
Comment from Lon Frank
Oh, Indy, this is just too good! So often, we forget the cardinal rule of the short story: a surprise ending. Great twist with the boyfriend being in on it. I anticipated the husband being the eventual victim, but the preconceived plot by the wife was a great idea.
I only have two questions. One, where do you get that kind of wine, and more importantly, where do you find someone to do those 'disgusting things'? (Sorry, just thought you would know, somehow.) :¢)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Oh, Indy, this is just too good! So often, we forget the cardinal rule of the short story: a surprise ending. Great twist with the boyfriend being in on it. I anticipated the husband being the eventual victim, but the preconceived plot by the wife was a great idea.
I only have two questions. One, where do you get that kind of wine, and more importantly, where do you find someone to do those 'disgusting things'? (Sorry, just thought you would know, somehow.) :¢)
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Hello to you, Boyo! Being such a treasured fan of mine, I'm sure you realize that I'm not much of a mystery/crime writer and I had a doozy of a time with this one trying to get it believable. I kept wanting to add little kids and puppies and a few newborn babies to lighten it up a bit. I tried real hard to make at least one of the characters nice with hero qualities, but the three of them would have no such thing and insisted on being evil and sinister.
As to your questions...the wine can be found in the booze ailse of WalMart in a big box with a glass of wine on it. All you gotta do is add the secret indregient. And you need someone to do disgusting things? I think I left a number for you on the bathroom stall in Applebee's for you. (I used our secret code)
Thanks for reading my flasher, Lon. I read your story a little while ago and needed some boxed wine and an hour or two to calm down before reviewing. Sheeeesh...you creeped me out!
Indy :>)
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'Creeped you out', huh? Coming from such a depraved and degenerate mind as yours, this is a complement, indeed! And I got banned from the Applebees altogether. Something about having to buy food to be able to hang out in the restroom all day. Sheesh, yourself!
Comment from jodim
OHHHHHHHH! I loved the twist and the surprise ending! I do miss the discriptive writing that flash fiction requires you to omit. Super good! jodim
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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OHHHHHHHH! I loved the twist and the surprise ending! I do miss the discriptive writing that flash fiction requires you to omit. Super good! jodim
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Hello jodim! Thank you for your kind review and comments for my flash fiction. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate your wonderful encouragement.
Indy :>)
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I enjoyed reading this story of the tables turned, in a surprising way. She must have known her husband very well to be able to anticipate his actions in this way, and to deal so calmly with the fact that he intends to murder her.
But then, I suppose she too was thinking 'murder' and pre-meditated. Why did they not just divorce?
Actually I'v just remembered why...then there would be no story.
Good contest entry.
Juliette
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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I enjoyed reading this story of the tables turned, in a surprising way. She must have known her husband very well to be able to anticipate his actions in this way, and to deal so calmly with the fact that he intends to murder her.
But then, I suppose she too was thinking 'murder' and pre-meditated. Why did they not just divorce?
Actually I'v just remembered why...then there would be no story.
Good contest entry.
Juliette
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Juliette, for this wonderful review for my story. I appreciate your kind comments and I'm glad you enjoyed the read.
Thanks!
Indy :>)
Comment from Krugerrand
And that's how it's done! Great flash story. I especially enjoyed thinking...this is predictable...and then getting a nice little twist.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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And that's how it's done! Great flash story. I especially enjoyed thinking...this is predictable...and then getting a nice little twist.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thanks, Krugerrand, for taking the time to read and review this story. I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Indy :>)
Comment from Marjorie D.
I got a real kick out of this one, Indy. All three of them are nasty, but it boiled down to which ones played their hand the smartest. The snarky dialogue between Audrey and her husband was perfect.
Good luck, Indy!
XO
Marjorie
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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I got a real kick out of this one, Indy. All three of them are nasty, but it boiled down to which ones played their hand the smartest. The snarky dialogue between Audrey and her husband was perfect.
Good luck, Indy!
XO
Marjorie
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Hello M! You know I'm not much of a mystery/crime writer, so this one gave me the willies trying to make it believable. I did try to make at least one of the characters nice, but they wouldn't hear of it and they all wanted to be evil and sinister and a killer. Ohhhhhhhhh....I wrote snarky dialogue?? Woo Hoo!!! LOL
Thanks, M!
Indy :>)
Comment from Annmuma
OO--000! Such a delicious feel of suspense. Great use of dialogue and an all-around good story. Should do very well in the contest. No spag that I saw. Good luck. ann
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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OO--000! Such a delicious feel of suspense. Great use of dialogue and an all-around good story. Should do very well in the contest. No spag that I saw. Good luck. ann
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Hello Ann! Thank you for taking the time to read my flash fiction and for your kind and encouraging comments. I'm kinda new at this crime/mystery writing so I'm thrilled to have received some votes.
Thanks!
Indy :>)
Comment from another jim
OMG. I'm losing track of all these contests! (LOL)
Great little tale, Indy! Well written, with excellent dialogue that brought those characters to life. Made me feel a little sorry for Marty; guy just can't catch a break, can he? And Audie? Seems she's got some wildness in her that she's chosen not to share with the hubby. Too bad; get past their murderous side, and they'd have made a lovely couple!
Very nicely done. Enjoyable read; short and sassy! Fit the guidelines to a tee. Good luck in the contest...Jim.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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OMG. I'm losing track of all these contests! (LOL)
Great little tale, Indy! Well written, with excellent dialogue that brought those characters to life. Made me feel a little sorry for Marty; guy just can't catch a break, can he? And Audie? Seems she's got some wildness in her that she's chosen not to share with the hubby. Too bad; get past their murderous side, and they'd have made a lovely couple!
Very nicely done. Enjoyable read; short and sassy! Fit the guidelines to a tee. Good luck in the contest...Jim.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thanks for reading my story, AJ. this mystery/crime writing is new to me and I had a doozy of a timne with it. Besides, no matter how much I argued, my characters insisted on being nasty and evil when I kept trying to make at least one of them nice and loveable. lol They won.
Thank you for your comments and encouragement!
Sassy :>)
