Comment from AlvinTEthington

Excellent

Excellent execution of the pantoum form in repetition and rhyme. You describe well the power of heroin over the addict who wants the euphoria of that first time again. There are sometimes moments of insight that heroin is like an "abusive lover," but they are few and far between. Superb juxtaposition of picture and poem. A very poignant and sad work.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from FredCollingwood

Excellent

This one left me drained. I have to say that's because your excellent writing. You creat a lot of emotion with your words.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from debskatz

Excellent

Hey Sixteezkid,

Very Nice! This one is very well-written and the rhymes are terrific. It is sad about drug addicts. So many lives ruined by it.

thanks for sharing it with us.

smiles,

deb

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from chaswriter

Excellent

Sue - Bad weather or no bad weather, how do you write like this? This is one of your darker poems about being addicted. Powerful descriptives you use to create this sleasy world of drugs and the person who cannot control themself. I enjoyed it. Charlie

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from JoAnna Lee

Excellent

You describe addiction well. This form is new to me... have you completely described this form? Is the refrain in its definition? In any event, well done!

Thanks for sharing,
Donna

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009

Thanks for the reminder. I just posted the rhyme and rhythm scheme in author's notes. Thank you for your review and for the suggestion. With regards, Sue

Comment from Firefly54

Excellent

How very true...
"On blissful shores, I long to stay
So, in my veins, I welcome you " A very powerful message and image here

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from Pen&Ink

Excellent

Hi Sue,

I like this poem very much. It has an odd repetition to it that is very interesting. I'm still at a loss as to exactly what the pattern of repetition is, but I know it's there. Anyway, great poem dealing with a harsh subject.

Ray

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from bard owl

Excellent

What is too bad about drug addiction is that is takes the users beyond the real world where everything is a form of Nirvana, unless something goes tragically wrong and forces them into mentalness or death. Your poem is eye-opening. We all have crutches, some more lethal than others. Excellent imagery in this one. BLessings to you, Linda

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from dportwood

Excellent

I like the pantoum poetry style. Addiction doesn't appeal to me as a subject, but it is a reality and poems can be written about anything. Love the format and the rhyming scheme.

Duane

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009

Comment from Dreamdancer

Excellent

Hello my friend,
In my line of work I have seen once to often how addiction destroys life. Very deep and thought provoking write my friend and thank you for sharing.... Dreamdancer

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2009