Comment from Daizie

Excellent

This poem flows with the gentleness of a peaceful tide. Wow... would I ever love to be there, in that picture right now. Just sitting on the beach, staring at the breath-taking ocean's view. Out my window all I can see is snow and ice and it is almost -40 degrees celcius out there. Well, I can always close my eyes and dream...especially after reading this lovely poem.

Thank-you!
Daizie

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009

Daizie, so glad you caught the image! Today, in Ohio, it is 4 degrees! Must go to the shrink and find out why I live here! LOL!!! So glad you enjoyed my poem. Your review is very much appreciated. :-)) Sue

Comment from Perp Ihebom

Excellent

A beautiful poem about the ocean.
I like the artistic arrangement of the lines
and the beautiful rhymes and rhythm employed.
The fantasy leaning is also very prominent. kudos.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2009

Comment from amada

Excellent

This is a very lovely type of poetry. I wil have to give it a try. I am awful in rhyming, most of my work is free verse because of this deficiency. Your poem is great and rhyme very well.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009

You are NOT deficient in rhyming! I say this because as of only 3 months ago, I had difficulty with Roses are Red, Violets are Blue! I KID YOU NOT!!! So, you must trust your ability with words and go for it!!! Start with a simple 2 stanza AABB rhyme scheme. Then, you're on your way! Then, before you know it, you'll be writing a sonnet and still write your free verse (which I love also)! Thank you for your lovely review. Always appreciated....Sue

reply by amada on 15-Jan-2009

Thank you for the encouragement. I will give it a try starting with something very simple, as you suggest. Keep alert, it will come. Thank you.

reply by the author on 15-Jan-2009

Oh, I'm SO pleased!! Let me know by PM when you do! I'd love to read it.
Sue

Comment from Roisin

Excellent

Wow! I love this. It looks quite difficult but you've written it with flair and perfect rhyme and rhythm. Your words are beautiful. It's a beautiful poetry form which I've never seen before. You've done really well and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Warmest regards.

Roisin

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2009

Comment from rmdelta

Excellent

Sue,

This one really hits me in the gut. I must have the ocean this summer. lol Been awhile because my favorite place to visit got blown away in a hurricane 2 years ago. I think I found a spag in your poem, but not sure. I read your other reviews to see if anybody else mentioned it and they didn't. You have some great poets and poetresses reviewing your work so it must be me.

I'm particularly jealous of Hitcher and you discussing the fishing. My first--no, wait. I probably need to re-phrase that 'cause she probably wouldn't understand. My second love is fishing in the ocean, but alas, no boat.

The thing I thought was a spag is your very last word. Shouldn't that be spelled 'undertow?'

Great work, Sue.

Reggie

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2009

OMG! I am a spelling fanatic and my day is now ruined. I did misspell undertow! Thank goodness for the edit room! HA!! Thanks for sharing about your love of fishing in the ocean. There's nothing like it! You've got everything: Sun, ocean, the sea to yourself (only the horizon), fun friends, the 'strike', the catch, a beer afterwards...oh, I miss it now! I won't tell the Mrs. what you (almost) said! Thanks for your great review, Reg. And for catching that major faux pas! :-)) Sue

Comment from sherrygreywolf

Excellent

You've written a lovely poem that follows all of the rhyming guidelines. It flows well and the picture matches your words perfectly.

good work - sherry

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2009

Comment from JoAnna Lee

Excellent

Well done. The form is followed and this is a nice, light-hearted whimsical poem... a pleasure to read. Good Luck!

Thanks for sharing,
Donna

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2009

Comment from Minglement

Excellent

Oh, this one calls to me. I didn't try this contest because it sounded difficult, but you've made it work beautifully, here and on my favorite subject. It calls to me as well - all the way out here in the desert! Great job. Good luck.

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2009

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

It appears that you followed the form perfectly and that it was a good ehicle for your theme. Craving "salt" sticks in my head--unusual? Based on your work and my experience in capturing a "happy" poem (FlawIess) that I wrote in my head while trying to go to sleep, I want to attempt this "one minute poem" format--thanks for the added inspiration. When I do, I hope I carry it off as successfully as you did.

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009

It is not as easy as it sounds, BUT worth it. Again, like any poem that has a very short line (4 syllables), it requires very well-chosen words. That is the challenge, exercise and joy! Thank so much for your review and I look forward to seeing yours!!! :-)) Sue

Comment from Counting Carrots

Excellent

A fantastic poem! I didn't miss any of the meaning in this one (sorry about my moment of stupidity in my earlier review!!!)

This was beautiful. My favourite part:

Out past first wave~
The salt I crave

Excellent :)

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Jan-2009

Nah...don't worry about it. We all have our preferences and read differently into other's works! AH! So glad you liked that phrase. You were the first one to pick that one. I LOVE that one myself! So fun to get past the breaks and dive under the first big wave into calmer waters! And the FEEL of the salt water. Nothing like it! Thanks so much for your review! Cheers :-)) Sue