CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 131 "Poker Nights"A collection of poetry
31 total reviews
Comment from LadyMary
This reflects on the experiences of all children (not necessarily smoking) in trying to feel grown up. I could picture the poker players totally immersed in their game, and the eight-year old taking a dare. Well described. LadyMary
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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This reflects on the experiences of all children (not necessarily smoking) in trying to feel grown up. I could picture the poker players totally immersed in their game, and the eight-year old taking a dare. Well described. LadyMary
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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So glad you could see the poker game and how EASY it would be for this little girl to do what she set out to! HA! Thanks for your very kind review! With regards, Sue
Comment from Mapleson
Your poem fits the requirements of a nonet, but the pacing seems slow for a 40 syllable poem. Story is strong, but the scene is rather vague. More focus on the lingering smoke or that first puff might strengthen the imagery and sense of anticipation.
Kind Regards,
Mapleson
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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Your poem fits the requirements of a nonet, but the pacing seems slow for a 40 syllable poem. Story is strong, but the scene is rather vague. More focus on the lingering smoke or that first puff might strengthen the imagery and sense of anticipation.
Kind Regards,
Mapleson
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Mapleson, I see where you're coming from (the specific smoke angle), but not what I aimed for. But, thanks very much for your very kind review and specific comments! With regards, Sue
Comment from Annmuma
This poem brought back the wonderful smell and taste of tobacco. I gave up cigarettes over 20 years ago and I still miss them! Good job. ann
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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This poem brought back the wonderful smell and taste of tobacco. I gave up cigarettes over 20 years ago and I still miss them! Good job. ann
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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LUCKY YOU!!! 20 years!! Thanks for your very kind review and sharing your success story! :-) Sue
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting nonet you have penned. It tells a story. You used good descriptive wording. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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This is a very interesting nonet you have penned. It tells a story. You used good descriptive wording. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Teri, so glad you enjoyed this little story. I thank you for your very kind review and comments! With regards, Sue
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem follows good nonet form, and it conveys a solid, focused image - but ugh!!!! the taste of cigarettes! Yuck.
I suppose it is influenced by the positive association you make with your dad and having fun, but ooky!!! LOL
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Your poem follows good nonet form, and it conveys a solid, focused image - but ugh!!!! the taste of cigarettes! Yuck.
I suppose it is influenced by the positive association you make with your dad and having fun, but ooky!!! LOL
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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You don't miss a thing, do ya Brooke! Yes, my dad! Loved to see him at the kitchen table with all the fellas and having fun. I also love the very sweet smell of marijuana when I go to rock concerts! HA!! There must be something mis-wired in the brain to enjoy smoke!!! Ha! So glad you liked this piece. :-) Sue
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I hated the damn smell of marijuana at concerts when I was 17!!!! LOL
Comment from rmdelta
Sue,
A wonderful contest entry, so very well written, Sue. Excellent choice of wording and while short, tells a great secret from childhood. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Sue,
A wonderful contest entry, so very well written, Sue. Excellent choice of wording and while short, tells a great secret from childhood. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Reggie, always love for you to read my work! Appreciate your very kind review. Am so glad you liked it. :-) Sue
Comment from RapturedHeart
What a great entry, Sixteezkid - what our parents pass on! It was the same for me, I started smoking at a very young age - but had just been immersed in it from birth! Was extremely hard to quit - but so glad I did! Hope you were able to; or better yet, that you never started. All the best in the contest,
Heather
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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What a great entry, Sixteezkid - what our parents pass on! It was the same for me, I started smoking at a very young age - but had just been immersed in it from birth! Was extremely hard to quit - but so glad I did! Hope you were able to; or better yet, that you never started. All the best in the contest,
Heather
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Heather, so glad you enjoyed this piece. (And that you beat the habit!) Thanks for your very kind review! Sue
Comment from Fleedleflump
A guilty childhood memory, a cautionary tale, and hey, a bit of fun thrown into the mix too :-). Very good flow, nice subtle rhymes, and a perfect shape formed by the layout :-)
Fleedleflump
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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A guilty childhood memory, a cautionary tale, and hey, a bit of fun thrown into the mix too :-). Very good flow, nice subtle rhymes, and a perfect shape formed by the layout :-)
Fleedleflump
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Fleedleflump (I just want to same that name 3 times in a row very fast!! - Ha!)..... Yes, a guilty memory. Isn't funny some of the things we remember so vividly. Thank you so much for the great review. Am glad that you enjoyed. With regards, Sue
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If you say my name three times in a row, real fast, I can make all your pesky human intruders go away...
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HA!!! Okay, here I go.....
FLEEDLEFLUMP
FLEEDLEFLUMP
FLEEDLEFLUMP
LOL!!!!!!
Coolest name!
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BOO!!!!!
Bleurgh!!
etc
erm...
:-)
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Ha!!!! At least your profile came with a "WARNING" sign about you!!
Comment from babylonia
LOL this one works perfectly. ah, those were the days, weren't they? i never smoked but i recall children doing just this. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~
good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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LOL this one works perfectly. ah, those were the days, weren't they? i never smoked but i recall children doing just this. easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~
good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Barbara, so glad this took you down memory lane - ha! Thank you for this lovely review. With regards, Sue
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yes, it did. i think it was the whole parents getting together with friends to play cards and gab. not something i see now.
love,
barbara
Comment from rama devi
Yecch! I hate cigarettes! Thus the saying: "to each his own"
LOL
This is very cute and cleverly conceived, highly original and endearing too. True to form. I find no nits.
Apt artwork enhances the scene depicted.
Slight suggestion to enhance the tone - couldn't wait to light "up" would add a humorous tone rather than to light "it".
Best of luck in the contest.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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Yecch! I hate cigarettes! Thus the saying: "to each his own"
LOL
This is very cute and cleverly conceived, highly original and endearing too. True to form. I find no nits.
Apt artwork enhances the scene depicted.
Slight suggestion to enhance the tone - couldn't wait to light "up" would add a humorous tone rather than to light "it".
Best of luck in the contest.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 10-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2008
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rama devi, lucky you that you hate cigarettes!! My downfall was having the "taste
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rama devi, lucky you that you hate cigarettes!! Yuck is right! Your suggestion is very compelling. Will think on it for sure! Always appreciate your reviews and critique! With regards, Sue