Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Chase"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
22 total reviews
Comment from Domino
Hi, again, Gayle. Blimey, it's hard keeping up with you.
You're the (can't remember her name) ancient English ramance writer, with the blue frizzy hair, 6 inches of makeup and poodle on her lap - of 'Fanstory'. LOL. I DON'T MEAN IN APPEARANCE!
'Que passo?... What's happening?
No se... I don't know
el nigre... black people
el caro rojo es solo... the red car is alone
muy rapido... v ' - SURELY YOU DON'T EXPECT me to remember that lot? LOL
'I want you girls alert ... all of you' both of you? maybe I've forgotten something, thought 2!
'you're the navigator! Now what back to you!" not sure that makes sense though I understand what she's saying. Great car action here, vividly described!
This again is of the highest quality, Gayle. Wish I had a hundredth of your skill and imagination
Ray xx
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
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Hi, again, Gayle. Blimey, it's hard keeping up with you.
You're the (can't remember her name) ancient English ramance writer, with the blue frizzy hair, 6 inches of makeup and poodle on her lap - of 'Fanstory'. LOL. I DON'T MEAN IN APPEARANCE!
'Que passo?... What's happening?
No se... I don't know
el nigre... black people
el caro rojo es solo... the red car is alone
muy rapido... v ' - SURELY YOU DON'T EXPECT me to remember that lot? LOL
'I want you girls alert ... all of you' both of you? maybe I've forgotten something, thought 2!
'you're the navigator! Now what back to you!" not sure that makes sense though I understand what she's saying. Great car action here, vividly described!
This again is of the highest quality, Gayle. Wish I had a hundredth of your skill and imagination
Ray xx
Comment Written 29-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
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Ray! How could you forget Amy? LOL! She was there, too!
As for the repartee...driver, navigator...let me check that out. Glad you liked the car action.
Funny story, I own that car, and just love writing about her. Started in the first thriller and there throughout all of them. In the first book, Secret Lives, it belongs to Terry's abusive, horrible husband, Bob. On occasion, his name comes up, in the books as well as in the reviews here. He was a nasty piece of work and the fans remember him! LOL!
Loved the review, as always,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Buctar
Showtime:
An excellent write. I got caught up in the story and failed to look carefully for nits. I didn't find anything. I enjoyed the read.
Bill
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
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Showtime:
An excellent write. I got caught up in the story and failed to look carefully for nits. I didn't find anything. I enjoyed the read.
Bill
Comment Written 29-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
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Well, hey, as you can see, I'm reading these backwards from their submission and here you are again! Big smiles to you and a pat for me. Lookiethere, nothing to fix. Now that's a lot, especially from you. I'm grinning big,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Readywriter52
Ella and Terry are attacked by a couple of thugs while they are on a stakeout. They manage to escape by cutting off a cop. Poor Amy didn't survive the chase very well. If they catch the thugs, maybe they should let Amy have a chance to get them.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
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Ella and Terry are attacked by a couple of thugs while they are on a stakeout. They manage to escape by cutting off a cop. Poor Amy didn't survive the chase very well. If they catch the thugs, maybe they should let Amy have a chance to get them.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
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Hi RW,
Yep, I think Amy deserves a chance to have a 'chat' with those thugs. There for a minute I thought she might jump at the cop, which would not have been a good thing at all.
Thanks for the fine comments!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Kym Jade
Wow it must be so scary to be in that sort of neighbourhood. A good move on the part of the girls to get the police to follow them.
Observation: You ran out of characters at the top. The last translation is missing.
Love and blessings.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Wow it must be so scary to be in that sort of neighbourhood. A good move on the part of the girls to get the police to follow them.
Observation: You ran out of characters at the top. The last translation is missing.
Love and blessings.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Metcha Ladies,
I saw that and tried to fix it...oh dear! Indeed, my dears, it is not the place to be in broad daylight with a marching band at your side. Night time? YIKES!
Hugs and love,
Gayle
Comment from RenieReader
Gayle: You da best, girlfriend. Wow! I'm so impressed with the 'girls,' including Amy. LOL. So, now who or what are the cops after. Could it be our friends of kidnapping fame?
muy rapido... v[ery fast]
Hugs,
Renie
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Gayle: You da best, girlfriend. Wow! I'm so impressed with the 'girls,' including Amy. LOL. So, now who or what are the cops after. Could it be our friends of kidnapping fame?
muy rapido... v[ery fast]
Hugs,
Renie
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Hey Renie,
I ran out of letters. I figure it's a fairly common phrase so I hope the readers know it!
I had the best time with this one, one of my fave chapters to write in this book. Poor Amy...she's gonna have sore sides for a while!
Hugs and love,
Gayle Your TV on? Nah, me neither, lol!
Comment from Norbanus
Wow! You nailed it girl. Holywood could have not shown that chase scene better. You didn't even give me a chance to bitch about wordiness. There isn't any.
Way to go!
Do you believe it? I used two exclamation points in two paragraphs. :-)
Holy Toledo.
Freddie
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Wow! You nailed it girl. Holywood could have not shown that chase scene better. You didn't even give me a chance to bitch about wordiness. There isn't any.
Way to go!
Do you believe it? I used two exclamation points in two paragraphs. :-)
Holy Toledo.
Freddie
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Annabelle does happy dance all over the office! Ah, Freddie. I'm smiling all over my face. Ah, I can die happy....I feel fine, but ya know what I mean.
I just loved this chapter. Poor Ames, and Terry, remembering what Bob's done once, years ago...it worked!
Oh, than you again,
Hugs Freddie, you're my angel,
Annabelle
Comment from c_lucas
Very well written with plenty of action. Good dialogue, imagery and descriptive scheme. The boys from the hood should have been introduced to Amy.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Very well written with plenty of action. Good dialogue, imagery and descriptive scheme. The boys from the hood should have been introduced to Amy.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Man, Ain't that the truth. I agree with the Israeli's. At 18 boys and girls give two years of service to the ir country. Everyone benefits.
Thanks for the comments and big hugs,
Gayle
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It's not so easy being brave when some one is shooting back at you.
Comment from TerraDawn
I definitely enjoyed this read! I am not familiar with the characters and was a little confused when Amy had back hair, lol, but I caught pretty quick after that. I loved your descriptions, but I would definitely love to see more "meat" in the chase scene. I knew it was a tense moment, but I wasn't exactly on the edge of my seat for it. I think it may have been the character development of the guys chasing them. Yeah, they seem scary, but the case doesn't seem hopeless. I think if it actually seemed like the girls wouldn't make it...I would be incredibly on the edge of my seat.
I dunno, just suggestions. Like I said, I really really enjoyed this read and plan on starting at chapter 1. Thanks for the opportunity!!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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I definitely enjoyed this read! I am not familiar with the characters and was a little confused when Amy had back hair, lol, but I caught pretty quick after that. I loved your descriptions, but I would definitely love to see more "meat" in the chase scene. I knew it was a tense moment, but I wasn't exactly on the edge of my seat for it. I think it may have been the character development of the guys chasing them. Yeah, they seem scary, but the case doesn't seem hopeless. I think if it actually seemed like the girls wouldn't make it...I would be incredibly on the edge of my seat.
I dunno, just suggestions. Like I said, I really really enjoyed this read and plan on starting at chapter 1. Thanks for the opportunity!!
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Well, Hi Terra,
So nice to meet a new reader.
I'm glad you liked this chapter, and I tend to agree with you, I think when I get to editing the ms, I'm going to do just that. Great idea and thank you so much. I hope you enjoy the novel!
Gayle
Comment from Janilou
An excellent chapter. I was once followed by a man in a car. I drove to the police station and he vanished only to start following me again as I drove home. Finally, I flagged down a cop car, and they took care of him after hanging back to let him start following me again. So I think the girls engaging the cops here is a very wise move! :-)
The chapter is action-packed and reads very well.
No errors noted, except one minor typo I think- listed below.
Notes:
Such exhibition of [exceeeive] speed and driving expertise is a common occurrence on LA streets and the girls received two salutary honks and the expected rah-rahs from half a dozen men in convertibles.
excessive? speed
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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An excellent chapter. I was once followed by a man in a car. I drove to the police station and he vanished only to start following me again as I drove home. Finally, I flagged down a cop car, and they took care of him after hanging back to let him start following me again. So I think the girls engaging the cops here is a very wise move! :-)
The chapter is action-packed and reads very well.
No errors noted, except one minor typo I think- listed below.
Notes:
Such exhibition of [exceeeive] speed and driving expertise is a common occurrence on LA streets and the girls received two salutary honks and the expected rah-rahs from half a dozen men in convertibles.
excessive? speed
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Good Gertrude! How'd that happen?
Thanks for the heads up, Jani, and I'm off to fix. I so appreciate you stopping by and for the great comments,
Gayle
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Showtimebook,
Amazing. All action and tension. I'm still wiping sweat from the girls' forheads after that race.
I have no cause for further comment. The story is well written. The description great.
Well done.
Regards - Jadapenn
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Hi Showtimebook,
Amazing. All action and tension. I'm still wiping sweat from the girls' forheads after that race.
I have no cause for further comment. The story is well written. The description great.
Well done.
Regards - Jadapenn
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Hi Jada,
Well, what a super duper review from a new reader. Thanks so much for the great comments and hope to see yo again soon,
Gayle