Time Shall Betray Us All
A Quatern21 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
Your first line hooked me and compelled me to read on:
"Time shall betray us all some day
and long before we're in our graves.
I appreciate time more as time passes, no way to get yesterday back.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Your first line hooked me and compelled me to read on:
"Time shall betray us all some day
and long before we're in our graves.
I appreciate time more as time passes, no way to get yesterday back.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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So pleased I hooked you early and you kept reading. Many thanks for your kind praise.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oh my! What an uplifting little ditty THIS is, Mystery Contestant!! Sheesh!!
I'll soon be inching out of my sixties, so this is definitely NOT the reading material I should be choosing! My mentor, who just turned 90, loves saying, "Old age is not for sissies." Thankfully, I'm made of very tough stuff, so I'm not going to let loose skin or aches and pains make me a curmudgeon. (I know, I know; easy to say NOW. Wait til that all starts arriving!)
Although, being a curmudgeon IS one perk of aging. It seems to have no repercussions! I learned this when I went to watch my daughter and the other young teens from her summer camp perform at a nursing home one afternoon. Their leader had told them, "If you sing, get up there and sing. If you dance, go dance. If you play an instrument, bring it to camp that day and play it for the residents." But one little Russian kid with a very thick accent had never indulged in any of the performing arts, so when it was his turn, he got up in front of the enormous crowd and recited a poem he'd written called something insipid like "My Puppy" or something. It was not a great poem. The meter was off, the words didn't exactly rhyme, but he was thirteen, and doing his best. Finally, it starts to go a little long, and this old geezer in the middle of the room - who, seriously, just moments before, I'd been sure was either asleep or dead - suddenly springs up with youthful exuberance, swipes at the air dismissively in the direction of the Russian kid and shouts, "Aaaaaah, SHUDDUP!!" I turned to the mom next to me and said, "I can't wait to get old. You can say anything you want, and no one yells at you. Everyone just shrugs and thinks, 'Let it go; she's old.' "
So, see? It's not ALLLLL bad, Mystery Contestant!! Always choose joy!!
xoxoxo
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Oh my! What an uplifting little ditty THIS is, Mystery Contestant!! Sheesh!!
I'll soon be inching out of my sixties, so this is definitely NOT the reading material I should be choosing! My mentor, who just turned 90, loves saying, "Old age is not for sissies." Thankfully, I'm made of very tough stuff, so I'm not going to let loose skin or aches and pains make me a curmudgeon. (I know, I know; easy to say NOW. Wait til that all starts arriving!)
Although, being a curmudgeon IS one perk of aging. It seems to have no repercussions! I learned this when I went to watch my daughter and the other young teens from her summer camp perform at a nursing home one afternoon. Their leader had told them, "If you sing, get up there and sing. If you dance, go dance. If you play an instrument, bring it to camp that day and play it for the residents." But one little Russian kid with a very thick accent had never indulged in any of the performing arts, so when it was his turn, he got up in front of the enormous crowd and recited a poem he'd written called something insipid like "My Puppy" or something. It was not a great poem. The meter was off, the words didn't exactly rhyme, but he was thirteen, and doing his best. Finally, it starts to go a little long, and this old geezer in the middle of the room - who, seriously, just moments before, I'd been sure was either asleep or dead - suddenly springs up with youthful exuberance, swipes at the air dismissively in the direction of the Russian kid and shouts, "Aaaaaah, SHUDDUP!!" I turned to the mom next to me and said, "I can't wait to get old. You can say anything you want, and no one yells at you. Everyone just shrugs and thinks, 'Let it go; she's old.' "
So, see? It's not ALLLLL bad, Mystery Contestant!! Always choose joy!!
xoxoxo
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much, Rachelle, for sharing my poem and your story. At the gym where I work out, I am known as the Lovable Cuss.
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Far nicer than a lot of things I'VE ever been called at the gym (among other places...) When The Big Reveal occurs, I'll look forward to seeing if I can agree with their assessment. Thanks for your adorable response. xoxox
Comment from EeanBlack
It is funny how time is constant, but people age at different rates biologically. Born on the same day, we will always remain the same age, but our bodies will change at different rates. Even most identical twins look different in old age. As far as betraying us, if we give TO time it will give back. But, yes it will ultimately betray us.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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It is funny how time is constant, but people age at different rates biologically. Born on the same day, we will always remain the same age, but our bodies will change at different rates. Even most identical twins look different in old age. As far as betraying us, if we give TO time it will give back. But, yes it will ultimately betray us.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Thank you so much, Eean, for sharing my poem and your interesting comments.
Comment from Kahlani
I love this poem about aging. It's true; time does betray us. I like how the refrain line is repeated in each stanza but gradually moves down the line. I've never heard of a Quatern, but you've inspired me to try it.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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I love this poem about aging. It's true; time does betray us. I like how the refrain line is repeated in each stanza but gradually moves down the line. I've never heard of a Quatern, but you've inspired me to try it.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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I am delighted you love my Quatern, Kahlani. They are a challenge, but fun to write. Many thanks for sharing mine.
Comment from zanya
This poem portrays an interesting angle on the theme of betrayal - as Time, to which we are all subject catches up with us. no matter what and 'Time shall betray us all some day.'
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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This poem portrays an interesting angle on the theme of betrayal - as Time, to which we are all subject catches up with us. no matter what and 'Time shall betray us all some day.'
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Zanya, I am so pleased you found y angle on the theme of betrayal interesting. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from Shirley Ann Bunyan
This is an excellent take on 'betrayal'.
It's true that when we're kids we always want to be older and bigger and the hands of the clock seem to to drag. Then, before we know it, they're whizzing around so fast we just don't know where the time went!
You've used the repetition lines so well along with great rhyme and metre.
Lovely work.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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This is an excellent take on 'betrayal'.
It's true that when we're kids we always want to be older and bigger and the hands of the clock seem to to drag. Then, before we know it, they're whizzing around so fast we just don't know where the time went!
You've used the repetition lines so well along with great rhyme and metre.
Lovely work.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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So pleased you enjoyed my poem, Shirley. Your review is much appreciated.
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Hi Rod, I have to say I think your work is excellent and I feel honoured to have tied 1st place with you.
Comment from ESOSTINE
This is a wonderfully penned poem for the Betrayal contest entry. You chose a rare topic and did justice to it. Your poem provokes a thought. Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest. Remain blessed.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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This is a wonderfully penned poem for the Betrayal contest entry. You chose a rare topic and did justice to it. Your poem provokes a thought. Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest. Remain blessed.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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I am delighted you think I did justice to the theme of betrayal, Esotine. Your review is much appreciated.
Comment from Nicki.B
I really love the the direction you went with this for the 'Betrayal' writing prompt! And I love that phrase 'time will betray us all some day' it surely will. It's all so real, but one we can to it Graciously is what matter isn't it lol! Best of luck in the contest, this is a great contender!
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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I really love the the direction you went with this for the 'Betrayal' writing prompt! And I love that phrase 'time will betray us all some day' it surely will. It's all so real, but one we can to it Graciously is what matter isn't it lol! Best of luck in the contest, this is a great contender!
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Nicki, Zi am delighted you love the direction I took with this topic. Thank you very much for your review.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
I really enjoyed this Quatern. You really covered all the bases of time's betrayal to our bodies and your poem read so smoothly even with the movement of that first line through the stanzas. Excellent.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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I really enjoyed this Quatern. You really covered all the bases of time's betrayal to our bodies and your poem read so smoothly even with the movement of that first line through the stanzas. Excellent.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Marilyn, I am delighted you enjoyed my Quatern. Thank you for the great review.
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent quatern, written in tetrameter, and smoothly wended its way to its conclusion, smoothly, with the refrain line reaching its destination without flaw and breaking meter, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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This is an excellent quatern, written in tetrameter, and smoothly wended its way to its conclusion, smoothly, with the refrain line reaching its destination without flaw and breaking meter, beautifully written, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Roy, I am delighted you enjoyed my Quatern. Many thanks for your kind praise.
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Most welcome