A Fishy Tale
Attic entry for the Picture This club31 total reviews
Comment from Aussie
Well done Jim. I wonder if it was loosely based on the story of Captain Ahab who went after the white whale, like your poem, only one man survived to tell the tale. I liked your lengthy story/poem. And boy, would that fish stink! K xx
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Well done Jim. I wonder if it was loosely based on the story of Captain Ahab who went after the white whale, like your poem, only one man survived to tell the tale. I liked your lengthy story/poem. And boy, would that fish stink! K xx
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is quite an interesting fishy tale Jim. I know you like to find your own artwork but these challenges are about the difference we get out of using the same artwork.
Typo -tried to use it as as spoon
Cheers
Valda
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This is quite an interesting fishy tale Jim. I know you like to find your own artwork but these challenges are about the difference we get out of using the same artwork.
Typo -tried to use it as as spoon
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
Comment from Sugarray77
Oh my goodness, what an imagination, Jim. Your whale of a tale is so far fetched! Great job on the rhyme choices and the progression of your story/poem. I'm still chuckling!
Melissa
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Oh my goodness, what an imagination, Jim. Your whale of a tale is so far fetched! Great job on the rhyme choices and the progression of your story/poem. I'm still chuckling!
Melissa
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Thank you for your review. Sometimes I get a little silly. Probably lack of sleep,
Comment from Gayla putnam
Jim, I got a kick out of this poem. I loved the theme; it was deliciously creepy, no pun intended. Almost all the lines had a great cadence, but there were two that seemed a bit jarring: the one that starts out Finnegan throwing a hook and the one that starts out he offered me a haddock. They appeared to disrupt the overall flow. I'm certainly no expert on poems, but I liked yours a lot. Gayla
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Jim, I got a kick out of this poem. I loved the theme; it was deliciously creepy, no pun intended. Almost all the lines had a great cadence, but there were two that seemed a bit jarring: the one that starts out Finnegan throwing a hook and the one that starts out he offered me a haddock. They appeared to disrupt the overall flow. I'm certainly no expert on poems, but I liked yours a lot. Gayla
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Thank you! I'll watch that kind of thing in the future.
Comment from Janet Foor
A fun and funny "Fishy Tale." I hope you found a good taxidermist for your fish on your wall. Haha.
You are quite the storyteller. You kept our attention from the start.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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A fun and funny "Fishy Tale." I hope you found a good taxidermist for your fish on your wall. Haha.
You are quite the storyteller. You kept our attention from the start.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Many thanks for those kind words.
Comment from Kahlani
This poem had me laughing. It's full of action and humor and kept me entertained. The way that you set it out made it easy to read. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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This poem had me laughing. It's full of action and humor and kept me entertained. The way that you set it out made it easy to read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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I'd much rather encourage people to laugh rather than cry.
Comment from E Lloyd Kelly
This is a great tale to follow, and a poem I could swallow. Crisp and punchy, but there were a few times when I wasn't sure if the author was included in the bunch, or just a distant observer. E.g. They sailed into a gale
Before it ended, six lost their tale
We wrote letters about their lives
But had no way to send it to their wives
While we slept and we snored
All our food was swept overboard. Or.
"Doing nothing but waiting, it makes you lazy
As we wondered who'd be the next to go crazy."
In this case, for example. Doing nothing but waiting, it makes "ONE" lazy, might work better for me.
Over-all though, this is a keeper for me.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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This is a great tale to follow, and a poem I could swallow. Crisp and punchy, but there were a few times when I wasn't sure if the author was included in the bunch, or just a distant observer. E.g. They sailed into a gale
Before it ended, six lost their tale
We wrote letters about their lives
But had no way to send it to their wives
While we slept and we snored
All our food was swept overboard. Or.
"Doing nothing but waiting, it makes you lazy
As we wondered who'd be the next to go crazy."
In this case, for example. Doing nothing but waiting, it makes "ONE" lazy, might work better for me.
Over-all though, this is a keeper for me.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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I was there in the bunch. This was a whacked out version of the time when I first tried to live like a Christian and went on a fishing boat. Everyone but me was totally drunk. The captain tried to harpoon a whale. I caught three fish and went home sober.
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Got you, I'm glad you decided to share it with us. Such tales must be told.
Comment from mermaids
This is great! You tell an unusual fish story here. Your poem reminded me a little of the book "In the Heart of the Sea" where the men had to consume those who passed on. Your two line verses are effective in telling a story and you have a smooth flow of rhyming words. This is a unique story about a fish in the attic.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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This is great! You tell an unusual fish story here. Your poem reminded me a little of the book "In the Heart of the Sea" where the men had to consume those who passed on. Your two line verses are effective in telling a story and you have a smooth flow of rhyming words. This is a unique story about a fish in the attic.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Many, many thanks!
Comment from royowen
An excellently written and funny story, a lot like those sea shanties that people write sometimes. I don't know why people tell fibs like they do about things that 'tall tales' this is a beauty Jim, I once bought fish and forgot them, the car developed a horrible smell until I remembered, well done, blessings Roy
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An excellently written and funny story, a lot like those sea shanties that people write sometimes. I don't know why people tell fibs like they do about things that 'tall tales' this is a beauty Jim, I once bought fish and forgot them, the car developed a horrible smell until I remembered, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
Comment from Michele Harber
Oh my goodness, Jim, this should have been entered in the "Share a Story in a Poem" contest. No one tells a tale (in this case, a fishtail) better than you do, and it's nice to see you do in poetry what you usually do in prose. This tale is simultaneously funny and sad, and consistently interesting. I enjoyed reading it, and am amazed that you were able to get such a multi-tiered story out of a simple "The Attic - what secrets are hidden here" prompt. Excellent job!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Oh my goodness, Jim, this should have been entered in the "Share a Story in a Poem" contest. No one tells a tale (in this case, a fishtail) better than you do, and it's nice to see you do in poetry what you usually do in prose. This tale is simultaneously funny and sad, and consistently interesting. I enjoyed reading it, and am amazed that you were able to get such a multi-tiered story out of a simple "The Attic - what secrets are hidden here" prompt. Excellent job!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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This was one of those stories that came from real life but was transformed in the process. This was a whacked out version of the time when I first tried to live like a Christian and went on a fishing boat. Everyone but me was totally drunk. The captain tried to harpoon a whale. I caught three fish and went home sober.
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Good for you! I don't drink either, which was very interesting when I was working in theater, where drinking was de rigueur. I can't tell you how many times I was asked if I were in AA because people didn't believe that I simply preferred not to drink.