Death, Crimes and Misdemeanors A-Z
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "I Need to Kill Vincent"Nefarious Deeds
17 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
Whose Fred, I've never met the man, lol. Down the drain with Fred! Loop poetry is an exciting form and somewhat fun. Best of luck in the contest, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2024
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Whose Fred, I've never met the man, lol. Down the drain with Fred! Loop poetry is an exciting form and somewhat fun. Best of luck in the contest, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 05-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2024
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I flubbed the contest. I didn't read some of the fine print. I like it as is, I am not editing so they will toss my work out, oh well. I'll live, Thanks for the read. Karen
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That happens. I wouldn't change it either.
Comment from lyenochka
You did the looping well with this conversational tone in this story poem. However, you'd have to fix the rhyme scheme which should be quatrains of abcb. Yours are quintets of aaaaa and bbbbb
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2024
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You did the looping well with this conversational tone in this story poem. However, you'd have to fix the rhyme scheme which should be quatrains of abcb. Yours are quintets of aaaaa and bbbbb
Comment Written 05-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2024
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I am just going to let them toss me. I did not notice that part of the rules. And I worked hard, I got the looping part right,And added making everything rhyme which was not easy. So I am done. I do not cross go, I do not get the one hundred dollars. I haven't so far anyway, so I am not missing anything. :-)
Comment from Begin Again
Oh dear me, Karen. Now you'r knocking off men who you say you don't even know... that's a bit worrisome. cute thought in your poem...and the humor is perfect.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Oh dear me, Karen. Now you'r knocking off men who you say you don't even know... that's a bit worrisome. cute thought in your poem...and the humor is perfect.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 05-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Do you really have to "know" them to want to kill them? Anyhoo, Thanks for the read and kind attention. Karen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I don't think the rhyme pattern is quite as briefed. You seem to have gone one step further with 2x monorhymes. But it all reads fluently and with your usual injection of humour and sadism:)) The penultimate line could do with a bit of fixing (perhaps just remove the first 'his') But I like it! Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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I don't think the rhyme pattern is quite as briefed. You seem to have gone one step further with 2x monorhymes. But it all reads fluently and with your usual injection of humour and sadism:)) The penultimate line could do with a bit of fixing (perhaps just remove the first 'his') But I like it! Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 05-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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I have already edited. :-) But thanks for the read. Check it out. Whadda think? Karen
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I thought you were going to say Free to acid wash him...?
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I messed up the loop poem structurally. But let the ban it, I like it. :-)
Comment from jim vecchio
This is a successful loop poem, all right. But one that only you could write. I hope I never fall on your bad side. poor Fred. Who is he, anyway? Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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This is a successful loop poem, all right. But one that only you could write. I hope I never fall on your bad side. poor Fred. Who is he, anyway? Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Fred? Never heard of him. Thanks for the read and nice comments. Karen
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Poor Fred. What did he do to get you riled up? you seriously need to consider anger management lol check out this sentence...
::::Free to his acid wash his head no need to flee::::: I think you have an extra word in there or something. Good job on the story.
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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Poor Fred. What did he do to get you riled up? you seriously need to consider anger management lol check out this sentence...
::::Free to his acid wash his head no need to flee::::: I think you have an extra word in there or something. Good job on the story.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Thanks for the read and edit, I will go back and look. Karen
Comment from Wayne Fowler
How nice.
Me, I am really going to be okay, i'll be free - (I'll)
Non-fatal head wounds bleed profusely. Just be sure that it's a nice, clean shot.
Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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How nice.
Me, I am really going to be okay, i'll be free - (I'll)
Non-fatal head wounds bleed profusely. Just be sure that it's a nice, clean shot.
Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the read and the edit. I'll go fix. Karen
