Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "E-i-e-i-o (Rachelle's Version)"Two very real women in not so real situation.
28 total reviews
Comment from Daylily
I am totally loving your story...so full of unexpected information and humor. Your descriptive words are far beyond the common realm of merely being good, i.e. "Is it even 6 a.m. yet?" she asks with a voice still full of morning-croak.
----
??? "I'm sixteen," she answers, going onto the next
Should this be: "I'm sixteen," she answers, going on to the next ???
Or, maybe: "I'm sixteen," she answers, moving on to the next
-- I think onto in the present case might mean climbing onto it which could be a very bad thing if you happen to be an egg. But, what do I know? :0)
Smiles and joy,
Lily
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
  |
I am totally loving your story...so full of unexpected information and humor. Your descriptive words are far beyond the common realm of merely being good, i.e. "Is it even 6 a.m. yet?" she asks with a voice still full of morning-croak.
----
??? "I'm sixteen," she answers, going onto the next
Should this be: "I'm sixteen," she answers, going on to the next ???
Or, maybe: "I'm sixteen," she answers, moving on to the next
-- I think onto in the present case might mean climbing onto it which could be a very bad thing if you happen to be an egg. But, what do I know? :0)
Smiles and joy,
Lily
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
HAHAHAHA!! The visual of that in my mind just, um, CRACKED ME UP. (that pun I could not resist. You have to love me anyway.) It seems right to me, your correction. So - good eagle eye on you! And thanks. I'll get right to changing it. xoxox
-
HAHAHAHA right back at ya!
Comment from Wendy G
Oh my goodness, what a read. So well done to include Mrs KT - maybe you'll meet up with her at the FS conference, if you ever get there! Lol. A fun and enjoyable chapter, very well written, filled with wonderful humour, and some beautiful descriptive parts about the sunrise.
Love it.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
Oh my goodness, what a read. So well done to include Mrs KT - maybe you'll meet up with her at the FS conference, if you ever get there! Lol. A fun and enjoyable chapter, very well written, filled with wonderful humour, and some beautiful descriptive parts about the sunrise.
Love it.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
Thank you, Wendy, for all these "catches" and for coming along with us on this adventure. I always look so forward to your reviews. xoxo
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Do you ladies have life insurance? It might be something to consider before this trip goes any further. lol I am having a lot of fun with both of your stories. Keep 'em coming!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
 |
Do you ladies have life insurance? It might be something to consider before this trip goes any further. lol I am having a lot of fun with both of your stories. Keep 'em coming!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
Haha. Maybe we'll have to look into that! Thanks for the fun review, Marilyn! xoxo
Comment from patcelaw
Hey Siri. I enjoyed it very much because you have used very good sentence structure, paragraphing, and punctuation all work together very well to make it look beautiful and read well. When is read aloud may you have a wonderful week and may God bless you. Patricia.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
Hey Siri. I enjoyed it very much because you have used very good sentence structure, paragraphing, and punctuation all work together very well to make it look beautiful and read well. When is read aloud may you have a wonderful week and may God bless you. Patricia.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
Thanks.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I feel cheated on 4 hours a night sleep, I need at least 7 hours to function properly during the day. I have been watching a series on the BBC about the Amish murders and some of them are rather gruesome! You paint a very different picture here of life within this cult. I like how you finished with a dilemma that has us holding onto our seats here Rachelle. Another fine epic write about your road trip or should I say life within the Amish society, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
I feel cheated on 4 hours a night sleep, I need at least 7 hours to function properly during the day. I have been watching a series on the BBC about the Amish murders and some of them are rather gruesome! You paint a very different picture here of life within this cult. I like how you finished with a dilemma that has us holding onto our seats here Rachelle. Another fine epic write about your road trip or should I say life within the Amish society, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
Thank you Dolly! Yes, I know I am definitely the exception rather than the rule when it comes to sleep patterns. It's such a wonderful fluke that I found a mate with the same minimum needs.
Yessssss, as to those Amish murders!! OYYYY!! But there's always "exceptions" in every society, even among the non-violent Amish.
Thanks for this terrific review. Very much appreciate.d.xoxo
-
I know the Amish are usually peaceful and I realise there is good and bad in every society. Love Dolly x x x
-
But it's tougher to take, I think, when there's such horror undertaken by a member of that group.
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Rachelle,
Awesome story. Your poem, As far as punctuation, grammar and style, is impeccable.
You're truly a gifted storyteller. You make what some people consider a mundane lifestyle, a down-to- fun story.
I like the suspenseful ending; it will keep readers wanting to read more!
Best wishes, Rachelle.
Cindy
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
Rachelle,
Awesome story. Your poem, As far as punctuation, grammar and style, is impeccable.
You're truly a gifted storyteller. You make what some people consider a mundane lifestyle, a down-to- fun story.
I like the suspenseful ending; it will keep readers wanting to read more!
Best wishes, Rachelle.
Cindy
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
Wow, what a VERY nice review this is! Thank you. Yes, stay tuned - and be sure to check out Gretchen's side, too! She's a terrific co-author. We are having a great time creating this together.
xoxo
Comment from Mrs. KT
Oh My Goodness, Rachelle!
Well, this chapter is a treasure chest of Amish information that made me smile profusely, from the mention of Old Order Amish, to the practice ofRumspringa, to the rooster's cock-a-doodle-doo at daybreak!
And humor!
I smiled throughout as I imagined/read of your awakening at 4:00am (which, but the way, is usually when I awake also), and stealing down to the front porch to watch the sun rise, to the delightful conversations you and Rebekah had to Gretchen's hilarious and telling conversation with Helene!
Of course, I cannot end my review of your incredibly creative and realistic narrative without sharing with you how delighted I was to know you were thinking of me among the Amish flowers! See any "Joe Pie-Weed?" Or patches of yarrow? Both were abundant on my last trip to "Bird-in-Hand, P.A."
This chapter is a keeper!
Smiles abound!
Thank you for sharing!
(And I bet there is no poison ivy on any Amish land!)
Fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
Oh My Goodness, Rachelle!
Well, this chapter is a treasure chest of Amish information that made me smile profusely, from the mention of Old Order Amish, to the practice ofRumspringa, to the rooster's cock-a-doodle-doo at daybreak!
And humor!
I smiled throughout as I imagined/read of your awakening at 4:00am (which, but the way, is usually when I awake also), and stealing down to the front porch to watch the sun rise, to the delightful conversations you and Rebekah had to Gretchen's hilarious and telling conversation with Helene!
Of course, I cannot end my review of your incredibly creative and realistic narrative without sharing with you how delighted I was to know you were thinking of me among the Amish flowers! See any "Joe Pie-Weed?" Or patches of yarrow? Both were abundant on my last trip to "Bird-in-Hand, P.A."
This chapter is a keeper!
Smiles abound!
Thank you for sharing!
(And I bet there is no poison ivy on any Amish land!)
Fondly,
diane
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
Nope, no poison ivy allowed. You should have come with us. You'd have saved yourself so much itching this summer!! (Are you all dried up now?) [you know what I mean..]
Thank you for this absolutely WONDERFUL review!! I appreciate all the time and love it took to write such an extensive amount. It helps enormously to know what "lands" with readers, so you've helped so much to know how to proceed.
xoxox
-
My pleasure, Rachelle!
This chapter really showcases your creativity, humor, and imagination!
Thoroughly enjoyed and savored!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I live with chronic insomnia and I know how hard it is to wake up in the middle of the night worried about waking up your family. Even when I lived alone it was hard to lay in bed staring at the ceiling all night long.
I know how wonderful are the smell of grass, flowers, and animals are. I relate them with going on vacation.
Your words'imagery is outstanding. I'm a very visual person, that's why I love Japanese poetry so much.
Gretchen's screaming at the rooster is hysterical. I like your humor.
I would like to attend a Fanstory convention. It would be fun to meet my fanstory friends face to face. Too bad is not real. Ihave met two fanstorians, Dean Kuch and another I can't remember his name... he was weird, but Dean was fascinating. We had a lot in common. We were planning to move in together but he died in 2016. It wouldn't have worked anyway, I live in California and he lived in Ohio. We both have children and would have been hard to move so far away.
Helene and Ezra 's love story is sweet. I like the way they met.
Well done Rachelle. You are an amazing story teller.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
I live with chronic insomnia and I know how hard it is to wake up in the middle of the night worried about waking up your family. Even when I lived alone it was hard to lay in bed staring at the ceiling all night long.
I know how wonderful are the smell of grass, flowers, and animals are. I relate them with going on vacation.
Your words'imagery is outstanding. I'm a very visual person, that's why I love Japanese poetry so much.
Gretchen's screaming at the rooster is hysterical. I like your humor.
I would like to attend a Fanstory convention. It would be fun to meet my fanstory friends face to face. Too bad is not real. Ihave met two fanstorians, Dean Kuch and another I can't remember his name... he was weird, but Dean was fascinating. We had a lot in common. We were planning to move in together but he died in 2016. It wouldn't have worked anyway, I live in California and he lived in Ohio. We both have children and would have been hard to move so far away.
Helene and Ezra 's love story is sweet. I like the way they met.
Well done Rachelle. You are an amazing story teller.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
And you are a wonderful reviewer!! Thank you for so much detail that went into this. It helps enormously to know what "works" and "lands" with readers. It lets a writer know she's on track and how to proceed.
Thank you for taking so much time with this review, Gypsy. I really appreciate your feedback and encouragement. xoxxo
Comment from judiverse
Growing up on a farm, I know what you mean about those early rooster awakenings. It must we wonderful to need only four hours of sleep. Wish I could do that. How do the Amish get along without TV and other means of entertainment? I believe they do have some approved books. I enjoyed your reference to the Linda Castillo books. I think I've read almost all of them in the series. I was wondering where you picked up the Pennsylvania Dutch lingo. It's neat that you mentioned Mrs. KT, also. She would definitely enjoy the scenery you described. Interesting that Rebekah's mother was an Englisher. What a note to end the chapter on! I will be curious to see what's up with Ezra and the horses. That's not like well-trained horses. judi
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
Growing up on a farm, I know what you mean about those early rooster awakenings. It must we wonderful to need only four hours of sleep. Wish I could do that. How do the Amish get along without TV and other means of entertainment? I believe they do have some approved books. I enjoyed your reference to the Linda Castillo books. I think I've read almost all of them in the series. I was wondering where you picked up the Pennsylvania Dutch lingo. It's neat that you mentioned Mrs. KT, also. She would definitely enjoy the scenery you described. Interesting that Rebekah's mother was an Englisher. What a note to end the chapter on! I will be curious to see what's up with Ezra and the horses. That's not like well-trained horses. judi
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
Thanks, Judi!
I grew up in the country, and the next farm over from us had a rooster. Even fifty acres away, that thing was SOOOO unbearably loud!!
No, Rebekah's mother wasn't the Englisher; her uncle (next door) married the Englisher, Helene.
I, too, have read all Linda Castillo's books. I don't even remember how I got started with them, but once I read one, I was hooked.
Thanks for this very nice review. xoxo
Comment from Tom Horonzy
One regret in getting to heaven, if I am permitted in, would be not taking an opportunity to take part in the Dunker community in Virginia
What I did was fascinating like men and women going through different doors at church and fertilizing there corn fields with cow manure twice a year which cleared our sinuses a week at a time
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
|
One regret in getting to heaven, if I am permitted in, would be not taking an opportunity to take part in the Dunker community in Virginia
What I did was fascinating like men and women going through different doors at church and fertilizing there corn fields with cow manure twice a year which cleared our sinuses a week at a time
Comment Written 28-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2024
-
This is a review? I have no idea what you are talking about
