Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Chapter 15 A"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
36 total reviews
Comment from Gunner Lil
Another superior dialog only chapter by this writer.
Maybe adding some meat to this work, it could become something worth sending to a professional editor.
A great tool to use for help is 'Gotham Writers' Workshop' used in their Creative Writing School.
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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Another superior dialog only chapter by this writer.
Maybe adding some meat to this work, it could become something worth sending to a professional editor.
A great tool to use for help is 'Gotham Writers' Workshop' used in their Creative Writing School.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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All of my published books go a professional editor, and so far, my editors have had no problems with my writing, as you say adding meat to my writing. I have seven books published and will soon have my eighth. All my novels are dialogue driven, that's what MY fans like. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacob1395
I like that Bob and Sarah both approve of Noah and Sami's relationship. I can really sense their relationship beginning to blossom in your writing and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take them both from here. Another excellent chapter Barbara.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I like that Bob and Sarah both approve of Noah and Sami's relationship. I can really sense their relationship beginning to blossom in your writing and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take them both from here. Another excellent chapter Barbara.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I think this story of love and danger is developing amazingly, and is time for some action and real danger outside the house. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I think this story of love and danger is developing amazingly, and is time for some action and real danger outside the house. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
This is a good chapter, and in keeping with your style and the principles you display in all your novels. I'm sure your loyal readers will love the slow pace, chivalrous nature of your males and morality of your females. But, as I may have stated before, I would encourage you to think about the language of your 'fully' adult characters and ask: Would mature adults really sound like this or speak and act like pre-teens about "certain" adult themes or activities?
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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This is a good chapter, and in keeping with your style and the principles you display in all your novels. I'm sure your loyal readers will love the slow pace, chivalrous nature of your males and morality of your females. But, as I may have stated before, I would encourage you to think about the language of your 'fully' adult characters and ask: Would mature adults really sound like this or speak and act like pre-teens about "certain" adult themes or activities?
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. The answer to your question is yes, full adults would speak like that. If they are Christians.
Comment from Teri7
Barbara, This is another great chapter you have penned. I almost caught my breath when I was at the part of Sami missing. This is a believable chapter and book so far. It is a star write in my eyes. I did not see any spam or errors! love and blessings, teri
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Barbara, This is another great chapter you have penned. I almost caught my breath when I was at the part of Sami missing. This is a believable chapter and book so far. It is a star write in my eyes. I did not see any spam or errors! love and blessings, teri
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
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you are so welcome my friend. love and blessings, Teri
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
"Very good. Thank you (for) caring." -- I think the 'for' is missing.
Another excellent chapter. It looks like Sami is breaking down walls with no problem. They are a cute couple. I like the story plot. It's very romantic.
Gypsy hugs
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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"Very good. Thank you (for) caring." -- I think the 'for' is missing.
Another excellent chapter. It looks like Sami is breaking down walls with no problem. They are a cute couple. I like the story plot. It's very romantic.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I fixed that first thing this morning. Maybe I forgot to save. I'll go back and check it. Thank you for pointing it out. I appreciate the help.
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yes, I probably read it right before you fixed it. it happens to me too :)
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Everyone seems good about Noah and Sami but the tensions builds when Sami can't be found. This immediately suggests that she's been abducted and it provides a dramatic contrast in the house to the usually more relaxed and regulated routine. It also accentuates Noah's determination to keep her safe. An excellent read. Well done Barbara. One edit below:
I didn't want you feeling self-consc(ious)
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Everyone seems good about Noah and Sami but the tensions builds when Sami can't be found. This immediately suggests that she's been abducted and it provides a dramatic contrast in the house to the usually more relaxed and regulated routine. It also accentuates Noah's determination to keep her safe. An excellent read. Well done Barbara. One edit below:
I didn't want you feeling self-consc(ious)
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Fixed it. I appreciate the catch. I make so many errors no matter how much I edit. I guess I edit so much I don't notice them, anymore. Thank you.
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I know with my own work, I can re-read a couple of times and still miss the error, having even put the completely wrong name in:(
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Barbara, your story is well-told. The only thing I can criticize is to be more descriptive in between dialogue; but, that's the way I write, and you have your own style, I know.
You have a nice premise, and quick dialogue.
Great job.
Best wishes, Cindy
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Barbara, your story is well-told. The only thing I can criticize is to be more descriptive in between dialogue; but, that's the way I write, and you have your own style, I know.
You have a nice premise, and quick dialogue.
Great job.
Best wishes, Cindy
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I don't like reading a lot of description, so I don't right it. To be honest, when I'm reviewing and there's a lot of description, I skip over it and get on to the good part. Thank you for the kind review.
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Thank you, Barbara. Maybe I need to take your advice.
Best wishes,
Cindy
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Each writer has their own style and what they like to read. That's why we have so many different styles.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I like your stuff it seems it is going so slow when in fact this is moving at lightening speed. How do you do that? I made a contest where people have to write me a birthday card. This assures me I'll have some. I am sneaky like that. Karen
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I like your stuff it seems it is going so slow when in fact this is moving at lightening speed. How do you do that? I made a contest where people have to write me a birthday card. This assures me I'll have some. I am sneaky like that. Karen
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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Good writing Karen
Comment from tfawcus
Noah has certainly loosened up a fair bit since the beginning of the story. He's taken his time though. Nicely written. People don't change overnight.
You had me worried when Sami went missing. The incident changed the pace and the tension most effectively.
Chuckling Noah said, "Great. How about you?"
"Very good. Thank you (for) caring."
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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Noah has certainly loosened up a fair bit since the beginning of the story. He's taken his time though. Nicely written. People don't change overnight.
You had me worried when Sami went missing. The incident changed the pace and the tension most effectively.
Chuckling Noah said, "Great. How about you?"
"Very good. Thank you (for) caring."
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
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I have a bad habit of leaving words out and when I edit read it as if that word's there. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate it.
