s.o.s.
Keeping the relationship afloat15 total reviews
Comment from Michele Harber
You definitely seem to have met all the requirements on line number, syllable count, consistent theme, lack of rhyme, and the comical twist at the end. Of course, the joke might be on you (or your protagonist). After swimming across the lagoon, how much breath do you think the guy's going to have left for mouth-to-mouth. Then again, a little heavy breathing, in this instance, might not be a bad thing!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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You definitely seem to have met all the requirements on line number, syllable count, consistent theme, lack of rhyme, and the comical twist at the end. Of course, the joke might be on you (or your protagonist). After swimming across the lagoon, how much breath do you think the guy's going to have left for mouth-to-mouth. Then again, a little heavy breathing, in this instance, might not be a bad thing!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Maybe it's the narrator's turn to do the mouth-to-mouth!
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Wishful thinking?
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I'm lucky that way, I can have mouth-to-mouth (giving or receiving) any time my heart desires...well, you know, as long as Bobby's within arm's reach...
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Within lips' reach! Do you need an anatomy lesson?!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I'll study, um, hard tonight!!
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Have fun! I mean, work hard! I mean, um, um ... I'm too young for this!!!
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Yes, so impressionable! I apologize for, you know, bringing it up...
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Oh, my virgin ears!!!
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You've never used Q-tips??
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I'd ask where--and how--but I'm afraid you'd answer.
Comment from Mark D. R.
Very nice twist Rachel for your last line!
Good use of the club entry format to present your well-crafted idea.
IMHO, I favor a larger size font for these short poems to improve their presentation value to FS viewers. Bolding text is your choice or not.
Mark
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Very nice twist Rachel for your last line!
Good use of the club entry format to present your well-crafted idea.
IMHO, I favor a larger size font for these short poems to improve their presentation value to FS viewers. Bolding text is your choice or not.
Mark
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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I do, too, Mark, but it's trickier with these club prompts, and I'm not sure why. I had to do a lot of fiddling around last time, and I don't believe I ever did find success. Thank you, though, for reminding me that I need to talk to Gypsy about it. I appreciate your comment!! xo
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Rachelle,
Mea culpa! I continue to shorten your given name in previous reviews.
Mark
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Oh, trust me; I've been called far worse!! Oh! And I did manage to make the Advanced Editor work to our advantage now! Woot! I'm honestly so glad you spoke up. Always know you can do that. xoxo
Comment from GWHARGIS
Well, well, I felt like this was a teenager writing it. The play on words with the mouth to mouth and the humorous tongue in cheek flavor. I really enjoyed this. I think you're a natural at poetry. Why am I not surprised? great job. gretchen
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Well, well, I felt like this was a teenager writing it. The play on words with the mouth to mouth and the humorous tongue in cheek flavor. I really enjoyed this. I think you're a natural at poetry. Why am I not surprised? great job. gretchen
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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"tongue-in-cheek flavor" Gretchen? Really? You're funny without even trying!! Thanks for this really nice review. You're always so generous with your words to me. xoxox
Comment from Lori Mulligan
I love this short but meaningful and romantic poem. Nice job! I enjoyed reading it! It has an allure to it that is captivating. It has the rhythmic quality of the current. Love it!
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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I love this short but meaningful and romantic poem. Nice job! I enjoyed reading it! It has an allure to it that is captivating. It has the rhythmic quality of the current. Love it!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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I'm so enjoying these weekly Japanese Poetry Club challenges. You should give it a try, Lori; it's very fun, and Gypsy is a wonderful teacher! Thank you for this very positive review. xoxo
Comment from barbara.wilkey
LOL This poem is so cute. I can see a romance with a lot of passion in this fun poem. Thank you for sharing this adorable poem with us. This one is so cute!!!
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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LOL This poem is so cute. I can see a romance with a lot of passion in this fun poem. Thank you for sharing this adorable poem with us. This one is so cute!!!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Barbara, I am having the BEST time every week with this Japanese Poetry Club! Might you want to join? Gypsy's a wonderful teacher, and you're creative. I think you'd enjoy it. xoxo