The Coyote Boys
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Fishing"Story about two brothers who change their destiny.
17 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
You're skilfully building your story with beautifully descriptive narrative and excellent dialogue, leaving a troubling question mark over how deep this fixation with Miss Lynn is going to go. Huck's life was always going to be fraught with danger and risk. A great concluding hook. Well done, Gretchen. Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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You're skilfully building your story with beautifully descriptive narrative and excellent dialogue, leaving a troubling question mark over how deep this fixation with Miss Lynn is going to go. Huck's life was always going to be fraught with danger and risk. A great concluding hook. Well done, Gretchen. Debbie
Comment Written 26-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Debbie. Huck's father will go after anyone Huck loves. He's a bad man. Thank you so much for this. Gretchen
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Oh I see. This is going to get very dark indeed.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I see trouble brewin'. I just hope Huck doesn't bring pain to Miss Lynn. It sounds like she doesn't deserve trouble.
Nicely written chapter. Good work.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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I see trouble brewin'. I just hope Huck doesn't bring pain to Miss Lynn. It sounds like she doesn't deserve trouble.
Nicely written chapter. Good work.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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No one deserves the pain from the father. But of course she's going to be harassed. Thank you do much for this. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
This is a lovely story. I can't wait to see which direction it is going. As usual your writing is very good. So far not a spag, anywhere. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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This is a lovely story. I can't wait to see which direction it is going. As usual your writing is very good. So far not a spag, anywhere. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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This one is a darker piece. Thank you for taking the chance to read it. I appreciate it. Gretchen
Comment from tfawcus
These characters are really brought to life through your writing. The dialogue is pitch perfect.
A couple of minor suggestions:
her frown is still dominating her face. I'm sure my daddy's hateful words are still swirling around (Maybe drop one 'still')
She has two small children, her daughter, Hester, is about eight or nine years-old. And, I can guarantee she is gonna be every bit as pretty as her momma. (Suggest re-punctuating She has two small children. Her daughter, Hester, is about eight or nine years-old, and I can guarantee she is gonna be every bit as pretty as her momma.
This is marvellously told. I wish I had a six for it.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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These characters are really brought to life through your writing. The dialogue is pitch perfect.
A couple of minor suggestions:
her frown is still dominating her face. I'm sure my daddy's hateful words are still swirling around (Maybe drop one 'still')
She has two small children, her daughter, Hester, is about eight or nine years-old. And, I can guarantee she is gonna be every bit as pretty as her momma. (Suggest re-punctuating She has two small children. Her daughter, Hester, is about eight or nine years-old, and I can guarantee she is gonna be every bit as pretty as her momma.
This is marvellously told. I wish I had a six for it.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much, Tony. No six necessary when you give great feedback like this. I will revisit those sentences, so thank you. I really appreciate this. Gretchen
Comment from Esther Brown
I really enjoyed that chapter. Great job at creating characters who are lovable and believable. I need to go back to the beginning of the coyote boys. Only one question...is a long correct or should it be along? Just wondering. Esther
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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I really enjoyed that chapter. Great job at creating characters who are lovable and believable. I need to go back to the beginning of the coyote boys. Only one question...is a long correct or should it be along? Just wondering. Esther
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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It's more than likely a mistake on my part. Thank you for the edit. And thank you for the awesome review. I think the first two chapters are still paying. I appreciate this nice review and the extra six. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Ohhh dear. The danger pot is beginning to start its slow boil. It's also the feeling that comes with getting harnessed into a ride that you know is going to scare the bejesus out of you because there is a chance - slight or not - that you will not survive it. UGH!! DAMN YOU, GRETCHEN HARGIS!!!
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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Ohhh dear. The danger pot is beginning to start its slow boil. It's also the feeling that comes with getting harnessed into a ride that you know is going to scare the bejesus out of you because there is a chance - slight or not - that you will not survive it. UGH!! DAMN YOU, GRETCHEN HARGIS!!!
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Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Rachelle. I love when people shake their fists at me and cuss because I've taken them down some dark alley with my writing. Lol. I do appreciate this. You made me laugh. Gretchen
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Gretchen. I hope you are well.
I don't think I've seen any of the previous chapters to this. I've been back on the site since beginning of May after being gone for 4 1/2 years so that could be why
This reminds me of a story my husband told about his civil rights worker days a. He stayed with one black family which had a five year old living there. The little girl came into his room one night and started tousling his hair. Now, if the white powers that be knew she had done that they might've killed her father her mother or even do something to her. They didn't care they had no conscience.
What was the reason she did this? She had never seen white hair and she wanted to know what it felt like.
This is well written I didn't find any mistakes. I'll be curious what happens to Huck in the next chapter
I enjoyed reading your story book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Hi, Gretchen. I hope you are well.
I don't think I've seen any of the previous chapters to this. I've been back on the site since beginning of May after being gone for 4 1/2 years so that could be why
This reminds me of a story my husband told about his civil rights worker days a. He stayed with one black family which had a five year old living there. The little girl came into his room one night and started tousling his hair. Now, if the white powers that be knew she had done that they might've killed her father her mother or even do something to her. They didn't care they had no conscience.
What was the reason she did this? She had never seen white hair and she wanted to know what it felt like.
This is well written I didn't find any mistakes. I'll be curious what happens to Huck in the next chapter
I enjoyed reading your story book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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The little girl just talked about Huck's blue eyes. Huck ran his hand across the little boy's head. Yes, I've heard some terrible stories about times like this. This was only the third chapter in this book. You could read the first two. You don't need to review but I think they are both still paying. Thank you for this. Gretchen
