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The Unwilling Heir

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 23"
A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders

18 total reviews 
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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I'm glad Esther made the decision to go to William. When he wakes up, maybe they can be reunited in their ghostly form and be redeemed together. All of your characters are so different. Benny is an interesting guy. I've been waiting to read his story. There's more to be told. I like the unusual idea of Sandra investigating the deaths of dead people. This story is progressing nicely.

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 20-May-2024
    The blue butterfly stole my heart this morning... I love it! I imagine much of my story is probably way "out there" but anything is possible, right? It's fiction and my brain likes to toy with the possibilities. Thanks so much for following and enjoying wherever my thoughts might take us.
    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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Esther has to be happy to spend time with William. She will be happier when he can make sense, if that happens. Sandra's discovery of Benny's sin certainly shocks her. Could it be he did only kill people who needed it? That is certainly a novel idea.

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 20-May-2024
    Anything is possible (especially in this crazy story) but I imagine it's how Benny justified what he did. And he did think he was a Robin Hood, giving to the church. Maybe that's how he got a second chance... but it's a slim one if he slips and does something wrong. (which he has threatened a few times). Thanks so much.
    Have a great day!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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I really like this story. Thank you for sharing it with us. Benny is an interesting character, but very likeable. Just a caution, adverbs need to be as close to the verb as possible, not a few words away.

Bennie sighed, "We struggled, (sighed.)

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Thanks so much. I'll try to check things out but have been under a lot of stress again lately....running around like a chicken or else just driving myself crazy. No excuses and I appreciate you letting me know. One more dr. appt tomorrow and things should be settling down. Hope you are relaxing and taking it easy.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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An interesting read. I have to admit I am not into this "extraterrestrial" stuff. I will try and come by, occasionally. Hope you will have a look at my Portfolio. I have my autobiography in there. Written a long time ago and still needing publishing. No rewards on it, sorry. "the Little Dog..."

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Guess what? I'm not into the extraterrestrial" stuff either. This is the first time I wrote a story about ghost, but my spirits do things I suppose other ghosts don't....like materialize into mortals. I just write...and what happens happens. LOL Thanks for stopping by and I'll get over there and check you out as well.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Pamusart
Excellent
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Hi, Begin Again. You wrote a really engaging story here.

Here is my favorite part

" Artifacts, guns, and swords hung on the walls, their splendor captivating Esther, each whispering forgotten tales."

The idea of these things whispering caught my eye.

I was surprised when you started talking about Benny and Sandra. It was so abrupt. Maybe it's just me but I hadn't read any of early chapters. Maybe they would explain. I could explain.

Thank you for sharing

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 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Yes...Sandra is one of the main heroines to the story. She is a mortal and the investigative reporter. Most of the others are ghosts...in purgatory looking for a way to redeem their souls. Jumping in when things have been developing makes it hard to understand, but I appreciate the comments.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by Pamusart on 19-May-2024
    I see.
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Hope you didn't think I was being rude because it wasn't meant to be. I just wanted you to know that there are a whole cast of characters in this story and they all intertwine with each other. Thanks again.
reply by Pamusart on 19-May-2024
    Not at all. I understand tact the characturdd have been developed in prior chaptdrd
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You write the world in a way we all hope is true. That there is hope for us wayward sinners, no matter what we do. Forgiveness for the asking, but without a contrite heart, they'd be but just words. LOL. It's always a pleasure, my dear!

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    My heart always wants to believe that something special lies around the corner, though my mind writes with a bit of attitude at times. LOL Thank you for being so kind. You are a very special person.
    Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by Ric Myworld on 19-May-2024
    I don't know how special I am, but you are certainly about as special as they get! Smiles and hugs back at you! Ric
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Now this old lady is blushing...Smiles!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
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Your writing beautifully weaves together the stories of Esther, Sebastian, William, Sandra, and Benny. Each character faces their own struggles and challenges, yet I can feel their stories all coming together. Your imagery is excellent. You bring the scenes to life and immersed me in the eerie atmosphere of the mansion and the emotional turmoil of the characters. The dialogue flows naturally. Overall, your storytelling is so engaging, drawing me into a world of mystery and suspense. Keep it up!

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 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Good morning, Michael! As always, you put a smile on my face with your reviews. Thank you so much for understanding my characters and appreciating the stories that bind them together. I am flattered by your comments. Have a great day!
    Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good for Sandra, she has my spirit!! Lol. I like Benny, too. He might have been a murderer, but he was no different to Robin Hood; and everyone loved him!

I'm also very pleased that Esther agreed to go with Sebastian and sit with William, this might be the second chance for both of them. I'm sure Sebastian knows this. I can't wait to read on to see how that works out. This was an amazing chapter, my friend. I just want to keep turning the page!! Love and hugs. Sandra xxx


 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Good afternoon, Sandra! Yes, she most certainly does...She had her fears, but she couldn't give up on everyone. Though I fear she might put herself in danger if she tries to retrieve the book. Proceed with caution!

    Esther will face a roller coaster of emotions, but Sebastian knows it could well be the healing moment she needs.

    Thanks so much for all your kindness and I am thrilled you are still enjoying the story.

    Smiles and hugs and love, Carol