Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Panpipes - Chapter 25"A Novella
19 total reviews
Comment from Jim Wile
Just when things were starting to look up for Ayesha, she runs into an old enemy who robs her. But she's not one to sit around and bemoan her losses and immediately jumps into action. Let's see if Kamul actually helps her. As I recall, he was a shady character himself.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Just when things were starting to look up for Ayesha, she runs into an old enemy who robs her. But she's not one to sit around and bemoan her losses and immediately jumps into action. Let's see if Kamul actually helps her. As I recall, he was a shady character himself.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thanks for your review, Jim. There was no love lost between Kamul and his ex-boss. Maybe he'll be sympathetic, but you're right, he was heavily implicated and might find Ayesha' return a dangerous embarrassment.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
OMG! I hope they can cancel her credit card details quickly. And as I was reading this, it made me realise, I don't know what my card number is! What a nasty thing to happen, at least she knew who her attacker was. This was a really good, punchy chapter, Tony. I really enjoyed it and can't wait to read the next part. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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OMG! I hope they can cancel her credit card details quickly. And as I was reading this, it made me realise, I don't know what my card number is! What a nasty thing to happen, at least she knew who her attacker was. This was a really good, punchy chapter, Tony. I really enjoyed it and can't wait to read the next part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thanks very much for your supportive six-star review, Sandra. Much appreciated. I used to have my credit card details by heart, but it was recently changed and I'd be in a fix, too. Especially if overseas.
By the way, have you heard from Jim at all? He's not been answering recent emails. I hope he's all right.
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Yes, I had a messenger face to face chat last Sunday. He's much better now he has Lucky to look after, but he still has a way to go to get over this SAD depression. He can't understand it, he has no interest in writing or doing anything. We both enjoy F1 racing, so we share our thoughts on each race. I think in time he will get back to his old self. Perhaps when the warmer weather comes he'll improve. I'll tell him you are asking after him, Helen has tried too. xx
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So glad to hear that. I was worried. Lucky looks like quite a character and just the right medicine.
Comment from Sandollar
This was an interesting story. Thanks for the synopsis in the Author's notes. I was happy Ayesha inherited the money from Bruno's death. She should have b/c of the abuse. Having him die twice was a nice touch.You ended on a high note with the conundrum of Bruno's demise.
I wonder what Johnno will do when he catches up with her.
Your writing has a definite flow, and that is successful. Will be waiting on the next installment. Great job.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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This was an interesting story. Thanks for the synopsis in the Author's notes. I was happy Ayesha inherited the money from Bruno's death. She should have b/c of the abuse. Having him die twice was a nice touch.You ended on a high note with the conundrum of Bruno's demise.
I wonder what Johnno will do when he catches up with her.
Your writing has a definite flow, and that is successful. Will be waiting on the next installment. Great job.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thanks so much for dropping by to review this chapter, Sandollar, and for your encouraging remarks and the sixth star. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Sanku
I hope her credit card would be cancelled soon .The crook can emppty her account in a jiffy.
Ayesha "s questions about Bruno's ring could make Kamul jittery .Interesting events would follow...
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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I hope her credit card would be cancelled soon .The crook can emppty her account in a jiffy.
Ayesha "s questions about Bruno's ring could make Kamul jittery .Interesting events would follow...
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Sanku. You could be right about Kamul. Ayesha has a lot of damning evidence against him.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This was a great chapter Tony, with plenty of tension and drama for Ayesha to deal with and queries about twice dead Bruno. Well written Tony, I really am enjoying Ayesha's story.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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This was a great chapter Tony, with plenty of tension and drama for Ayesha to deal with and queries about twice dead Bruno. Well written Tony, I really am enjoying Ayesha's story.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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Many thanks for your review, Valda, and for the sixth star. Most generous and greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'm sure the creep won't get too far. That was a really dumb move. Pretty soon he'll be in jail where he belongs and the elephant will finally get some relief.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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I'm sure the creep won't get too far. That was a really dumb move. Pretty soon he'll be in jail where he belongs and the elephant will finally get some relief.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Cindy. I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lancellot
This is structurally well written, but I have to say, some the things that happened, aren't logical or reasonable. I get this is FS, and there are unwritten rules but...
note:
{Sensing danger,} she ignored him and slid into the driver's seat, expecting him to move away when she started the engine.
- A woman senses danger from a lone man, gets into her car, and doesn't lock the doors?? Now, picture that classic scene.
Ayesha fumed and was so incensed that she forgot her fear.
- You never showed the reader any fear. And her actions are beyond logical or fearful..
As soon as she'd handed them over, he threw the keys into the back of the car, slammed the door, and loped off down the street,
- What a nice criminal. He left her car, her life, her body, he even left her car keys. Actually, he didn't harm a hair on her head.
There's nothing to worry about. You can cancel it online with your phone.
- A) she's just been robbed. Why would he assume she still had a phone?
-B) Or he could slide his phone over the desk and let her call or make the call himself.
-C) She doesn't need to know the number, just her name and bank.
-D) By the time she drove through town, her bank account would have been emptied. It made no sense to not do it at the bank.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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This is structurally well written, but I have to say, some the things that happened, aren't logical or reasonable. I get this is FS, and there are unwritten rules but...
note:
{Sensing danger,} she ignored him and slid into the driver's seat, expecting him to move away when she started the engine.
- A woman senses danger from a lone man, gets into her car, and doesn't lock the doors?? Now, picture that classic scene.
Ayesha fumed and was so incensed that she forgot her fear.
- You never showed the reader any fear. And her actions are beyond logical or fearful..
As soon as she'd handed them over, he threw the keys into the back of the car, slammed the door, and loped off down the street,
- What a nice criminal. He left her car, her life, her body, he even left her car keys. Actually, he didn't harm a hair on her head.
There's nothing to worry about. You can cancel it online with your phone.
- A) she's just been robbed. Why would he assume she still had a phone?
-B) Or he could slide his phone over the desk and let her call or make the call himself.
-C) She doesn't need to know the number, just her name and bank.
-D) By the time she drove through town, her bank account would have been emptied. It made no sense to not do it at the bank.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Several good points here, Lance. I need to go back and review this chapter. Appreciate your input. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Ok. Now I'm worried about her. Being in a foreign land with no phone or credit card could spell disaster. Hopefully the major will be be able to help her. I am wondering what is going on with Bapit. Hopefully there will be an update. I think she could use a friend. Great chapter. Had me on the edge of my seat. Gretchen
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Ok. Now I'm worried about her. Being in a foreign land with no phone or credit card could spell disaster. Hopefully the major will be be able to help her. I am wondering what is going on with Bapit. Hopefully there will be an update. I think she could use a friend. Great chapter. Had me on the edge of my seat. Gretchen
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thanks for your review, Gretchen, and for your encouragement. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Tony!
Incredibly frightening. Your words and plot engaged me immediately, and when I placed myself in Ayesha's position, I was overcome with unsettled fear; that does not often happen when I am reading a work of fiction.
The dialogue and progression of plot were seamless and realistic.
Very engaging writing, which I hope has a satisfactory conclusion!
Thank you for sharing, Tony!
diane
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Hello, Tony!
Incredibly frightening. Your words and plot engaged me immediately, and when I placed myself in Ayesha's position, I was overcome with unsettled fear; that does not often happen when I am reading a work of fiction.
The dialogue and progression of plot were seamless and realistic.
Very engaging writing, which I hope has a satisfactory conclusion!
Thank you for sharing, Tony!
diane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Diane. So glad to hear it read authentically. All good wishes, Tony
