Reviews from

Meeting Belphegor

a free verse

17 total reviews 
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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This is an excellent expression of the nothingness some find in life. Worthy of Hamlet, it's so well stated. Yeah, and what an excuse! Belphegor made me do it. The reference to the hole that became your heart is excellent. I wish you best of luck in the contest. Great example of free verse. judi

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
    Thank you, Judi
reply by judiverse on 24-Apr-2024
    You're welcome. Excellent entry, and should be in the winners' circle. judi
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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This is and was some sort of illusion. Why do I say that? Because no one who has served as a marine in this country could ever be accused of being lazy. Try being lazy in the Marine Corps. and you will get your hind quarters kicked from one end of the base to the other. I know this and I have never spent one day in the corps.
The photo is awesome, kind of reminds me of someone I was just recently speaking to. Hmmm.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
    Yes, the story is fiction, but I sat for the painting.
reply by nomi338 on 24-Apr-2024
    Good likeness
Comment from Julie Helms
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I found this topic and poem extremely intriguing. I went and looked this character up because I had never heard of him before. I found an English translation of Machiavelli's short story on Belfagor in the public domain I set aside to read later.
Your poem is excellent, highlighting through description the impact this demon has on one interacting with it. I really enjoyed it!
On a humorous note, it brought to mind the kid's song from VeggieTales called "We are the Pirates, Who Don't Do Anything."

Julie

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
    Thank you, Julie, for giving this a look. Sometimes I feel like I have some good ideas that could just use a little more effort on my part to go further.
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
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Of course, this poem isn't autobiographical as your words have meaning to me and everyone on FanStory and your contribution is priceless to us. This was a very imaginative use of free verse.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
    Thank you, Jim.
reply by jim vecchio on 24-Apr-2024
    You're very welcome.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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This is interesting free verse. As free verse it seems to work well. The subject matter makes me wonder if arguing with someone no one else sees might not be that uncommon. We all probably all have a dialogue going on in our head helping us sort our which way we need to go. I'm not sure I believe anyone is really lazy because as long as we live there is a constant dialogue in our head. Even that takes energy. People might choose not to do what some feels needs to be done for various reasons but everyone is doing something unless they are physically exhaused. If the demon in your brains wins out, he would put to up to some mischief.
Doing nothing would be totally boring.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
    The enemy of progress is stifled satisfaction.
Comment from gansach
Excellent
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Very good entry for the free verse competition. Good imagery and description of falling victim to sloth, great picture to illustrate your words. Good luck in the competition!

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 Comment Written 24-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
    Thank you, G
Comment from Mark Jackson
Excellent
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Never heard of this demon. Knowing he is the lord of laziness helps and my second read-through was a little more fulfilling. This is a unique piece of writing which I am pleased to have perused.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
    Thanks, Mark, for giving this a look.