Cat at Work
The paw and natural law48 total reviews
Comment from teafor2
Dr. NAD, your contest entry is succinct and spot-on...The cat has done its
job and earned his keep...This particular rodent historically has been a pest of momentous destruction and health problems, however, your sparse cute mono-rhymes has put an end to this ones shenanigans! Good
luck in the contest. teafor2
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Dr. NAD, your contest entry is succinct and spot-on...The cat has done its
job and earned his keep...This particular rodent historically has been a pest of momentous destruction and health problems, however, your sparse cute mono-rhymes has put an end to this ones shenanigans! Good
luck in the contest. teafor2
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing: "Cat at Work". I think you also for the five beautiful stars you bestowed upon me!
Comment from Jodi Ann Anderson
For such a short poem, this made me laugh! I love it so much! It is cute and the picture is perfect too. I wish you luck in the 1-6-1 contest. Thanks for sharing Dr. Nad!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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For such a short poem, this made me laugh! I love it so much! It is cute and the picture is perfect too. I wish you luck in the 1-6-1 contest. Thanks for sharing Dr. Nad!
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing: "Cat at Work". I think you also for the five beautiful stars you bestowed upon me!
Comment from SimianSavant
The colors of this work well. Here are some thoughts on how to make the text pop a little more.
Fat comes off as a rather passive adjective at the end. I suppose it is a descriptor of the cat after eating the rat. What if you made it a bit more active:
Cat
Approaches, stalks a rat
SPLAT!
Cat
Stalks a feral hazmat
Rat
Cat
Craving a juicy rat
Stat
I docked one star because of the awkwardness in the current wording of "ate rat" (missing an article; if you prefer your piece as written perhaps a simple edit to adjust this would simply be "spotted and ate a rat"
If you make any edits, shoot me back a message so I can bump this up a star!
SS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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The colors of this work well. Here are some thoughts on how to make the text pop a little more.
Fat comes off as a rather passive adjective at the end. I suppose it is a descriptor of the cat after eating the rat. What if you made it a bit more active:
Cat
Approaches, stalks a rat
SPLAT!
Cat
Stalks a feral hazmat
Rat
Cat
Craving a juicy rat
Stat
I docked one star because of the awkwardness in the current wording of "ate rat" (missing an article; if you prefer your piece as written perhaps a simple edit to adjust this would simply be "spotted and ate a rat"
If you make any edits, shoot me back a message so I can bump this up a star!
SS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing cat at work. Thank you also for the four stars. Thank you for your suggestions but I didn't find them to be vibe I was going for. There were several nuances that a number of reviewers picked up for which I was grateful. You may have caught them yourself but you didn't mention them. One example: loc-ate-d. Be blessed.
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As with planets that become visible in the day only during a solar eclipse, the brilliance of that middle syllable escaped me perhaps because it was overshadowed by the actual verb ATE. However sharper minds than mine clearly caught the reference. I guess we don't say "eat A chicken" because the meat is commonplace, so maybe that's how a cat thinks about it. Anyway thanks for the gracious response.
🦍
Comment from GoWiSt
Ha! Interesting message. You fulfilled the line and syllabic criteria for the contest. Indeed, indeed, it is a matural law. Such is life for the poor rat, but good for the cat. It did have to do work to locate it first, though. :-)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Ha! Interesting message. You fulfilled the line and syllabic criteria for the contest. Indeed, indeed, it is a matural law. Such is life for the poor rat, but good for the cat. It did have to do work to locate it first, though. :-)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing cat at work. Thank you also for the five beautiful stars.
Comment from Boogienights
Haha! This is funny and very relatable. We have mice, and the cat has a great time chasing and bringing them to us. No rats, thankfully, but l love your 1-6-1. Best of luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Haha! This is funny and very relatable. We have mice, and the cat has a great time chasing and bringing them to us. No rats, thankfully, but l love your 1-6-1. Best of luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing: "Cat at Work" and thank you for the five lovely stars.
Comment from Daylily
I used to have an all white cat several decades ago and your posting brought back some lovely memories. Cats really do keep the rodent population down. I enjoyed reading your posting very much.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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I used to have an all white cat several decades ago and your posting brought back some lovely memories. Cats really do keep the rodent population down. I enjoyed reading your posting very much.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing: "Cat at Work" and thank you for the five lovely stars.
Comment from Raul1
The cat for eating that rat he must have gotten real fat. I wonder if he is already full by the time he ate it. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Nice. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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The cat for eating that rat he must have gotten real fat. I wonder if he is already full by the time he ate it. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Nice. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing: "Cat at Work" and thank you for the five lovely stars.
Comment from gramalot8
This is actually avery challenging style. It's hard to have the poem make sense and rhyme within the required syllables. You did just that with your cute Mr Fat Cat story. Sorry Mr Rat... lol
Thanks for sharing this with us and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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This is actually avery challenging style. It's hard to have the poem make sense and rhyme within the required syllables. You did just that with your cute Mr Fat Cat story. Sorry Mr Rat... lol
Thanks for sharing this with us and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing: "Cat at Work" and thank you for the five lovely stars.
Comment from Michele Harber
Short and sweet (and, apparently, tasty--if you're a cat). These short poems are hard to do, but you used your eight syllables well to tell a story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Short and sweet (and, apparently, tasty--if you're a cat). These short poems are hard to do, but you used your eight syllables well to tell a story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing: "Cat at Work" and thank you for the five lovely stars.
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You're very welcome!
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:-)
Comment from Janet Foor
(Smiling). Life does go on and the natural order of things goes on too.
A delightful 1/6/1 poem for the contest. Excellent artwork and presentation to accompany your poem.
Blessings and Good luck.
Janet
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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(Smiling). Life does go on and the natural order of things goes on too.
A delightful 1/6/1 poem for the contest. Excellent artwork and presentation to accompany your poem.
Blessings and Good luck.
Janet
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for taking the time to both Read and Review "Cat at Work". I appreciate very much the encouraging words and the five beautiful stars.