Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Panpipes - Chapter 21"A Novella
24 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice action scene. Well written.
"Cheap at half the price." - Hah! I've been saying that all my life. I think I remember hearing my folks say it.
I guess Steve isn't the softy they expected. Hope he gets it cleared up.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Nice action scene. Well written.
"Cheap at half the price." - Hah! I've been saying that all my life. I think I remember hearing my folks say it.
I guess Steve isn't the softy they expected. Hope he gets it cleared up.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Wayne. I appreciate your continued support and encouragement. Wishing you a happy Easter. All the best, Tony.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Great 0cat and mouse sequence in this chapter. I wish they had caught the guy but that would spoil the suspense. This was a great chapter that revealed a bit more of Steve's character. I really enjoyed. Gretchen
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Great 0cat and mouse sequence in this chapter. I wish they had caught the guy but that would spoil the suspense. This was a great chapter that revealed a bit more of Steve's character. I really enjoyed. Gretchen
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Gretchen. I appreciate your continued support and encouragement. Wishing you a happy Easter. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
If Steve had managed to get Ayesha in the shrubbery it well "could get expensive." They may have taken a real liking to each other there, especially since Steve was willing to work "pro bono."
"bull mastiff". Paints quiet an illusion as I own a 1/2 Bull Mastiff and 1/2 Great Dane 140 pound "rabbit chaser" and have to walk Charlie on a ten foot long horse lead to maintain control over him. Wonderful dog though.
"I'll give Johnno a bell" reckon that means telephone call.
"spend ages taking statements, then just file them" sounds typical of the police.
"lifeless figure of Dave"? Thought when Steve hit him he had only "knocked him out" not killed him? Seems like two different results of the same action here?
So, Steve has gotten himself arrested. Be interesting to discover how he wiggles out of that predicament.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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If Steve had managed to get Ayesha in the shrubbery it well "could get expensive." They may have taken a real liking to each other there, especially since Steve was willing to work "pro bono."
"bull mastiff". Paints quiet an illusion as I own a 1/2 Bull Mastiff and 1/2 Great Dane 140 pound "rabbit chaser" and have to walk Charlie on a ten foot long horse lead to maintain control over him. Wonderful dog though.
"I'll give Johnno a bell" reckon that means telephone call.
"spend ages taking statements, then just file them" sounds typical of the police.
"lifeless figure of Dave"? Thought when Steve hit him he had only "knocked him out" not killed him? Seems like two different results of the same action here?
So, Steve has gotten himself arrested. Be interesting to discover how he wiggles out of that predicament.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Brett. I appreciate your continued support and encouragement. I see what you mean about the lifeless body. I've made a couple of changes to resurrect the poor fellow since it is Easter. Wishing you all the best, Tony.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You used dialogue to good effect here, to move the story on. Also the short sentences kept the action up.
possible edits:
''Questions, questions > 'Questions, questions
If he had intended to wound him, he'd already be wrenching the blade out and thrusting it in for a second time. In one smooth movement, he grabbed Dave's forearm and tucked his chin in while bending his knees and twisting down out of the headlock. Before Dave could react, Steve let fly a wild haymaker that made contact with the side of his chin and threw him against the wall, sending the knife flying. He slid to the ground, out for the count. > use of 'he' for two characters is confusing. I think it might be improved if you used namrs more
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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You used dialogue to good effect here, to move the story on. Also the short sentences kept the action up.
possible edits:
''Questions, questions > 'Questions, questions
If he had intended to wound him, he'd already be wrenching the blade out and thrusting it in for a second time. In one smooth movement, he grabbed Dave's forearm and tucked his chin in while bending his knees and twisting down out of the headlock. Before Dave could react, Steve let fly a wild haymaker that made contact with the side of his chin and threw him against the wall, sending the knife flying. He slid to the ground, out for the count. > use of 'he' for two characters is confusing. I think it might be improved if you used namrs more
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thanks very much for your review and constructive comment, Katherine. I'll take another look at the fight sequence and see if I can make it clearer.
Wishing you a very happy Easter. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Treischel
You start this chapter adding a touch of humor to an intense situation. Nicely done. Of course , the danger is real and still there. The discussions and fight were well written. Lots of good exciting action. I enjoyed the chapter very much.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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You start this chapter adding a touch of humor to an intense situation. Nicely done. Of course , the danger is real and still there. The discussions and fight were well written. Lots of good exciting action. I enjoyed the chapter very much.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Tom. I appreciate your comments about mixing humour with tension. Glad you're still enjoying this. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Ayesha and Steve certainly surprised the men trying to kidnap her. They were a lot more competent at escaping than expected. But they still haven't reached the police station. Good story with lots of action.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Ayesha and Steve certainly surprised the men trying to kidnap her. They were a lot more competent at escaping than expected. But they still haven't reached the police station. Good story with lots of action.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Many thanks for your review and continued support, Carol. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
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Many thanks for your review and continued support, Carol. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Sankey
Wow, again! What a chapter. I hope Steve gets clear of the police and/ or gets their help. You have done well in holding my interest. I hope others feel the same. No spags.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Wow, again! What a chapter. I hope Steve gets clear of the police and/ or gets their help. You have done well in holding my interest. I hope others feel the same. No spags.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Many thanks for your continued support and for the sixth star, Geoffrey. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Jim Wile
I enjoyed this exciting, danger-filled chapter as Johnno is getting desperate now and sending his henchman against Ayesha. Steve saves the day, but is arrested for his efforts as Jimmy gets away scot free to continue the harassment.
I liked the banter over the money between Ayesha and Steve. Very amusing.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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I enjoyed this exciting, danger-filled chapter as Johnno is getting desperate now and sending his henchman against Ayesha. Steve saves the day, but is arrested for his efforts as Jimmy gets away scot free to continue the harassment.
I liked the banter over the money between Ayesha and Steve. Very amusing.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Many thanks for your continued support and kind words, Jim. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Tony, that was a great chapter at a breakneck speed. So much happened in such a short space of time. Absolutely wonderful. I can't wait to be reading on. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Wow, Tony, that was a great chapter at a breakneck speed. So much happened in such a short space of time. Absolutely wonderful. I can't wait to be reading on. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Many thanks for your continued support and kind words, Ulla. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Steve's in trouble, but I'm betting he can wiggle his way out of this mess. He is a lawyer, but what about Ayesha? How's she going to meet up with him and how are they doing to get to the police station? I have numerous questions. I enjoyed reading. This is a good write.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Steve's in trouble, but I'm betting he can wiggle his way out of this mess. He is a lawyer, but what about Ayesha? How's she going to meet up with him and how are they doing to get to the police station? I have numerous questions. I enjoyed reading. This is a good write.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Many thanks for your continued support and kind words, Barbara. Best wishes, Tony
