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Living On The Edge

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Living On The Edge - Chap 12"
The blending of good and evil.

18 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jake is a childhood friend of Richard - but R is totally corrupt and unscrupulous, even for his own brother. Layla and Jake being followed sounds like disaster, but he has back-up. I hope Troy will soon be vindicated ... was it Richard who did the crime Troy was jailed for?
Excellent writing ... very dramatic, and always full of suspense.
Wendy

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Richard doesn't get his hands "dirty" but he knows the right people to get it done. Thanks for reading and reviewing. As always, I appreciate your time and comments.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I seems like the chief is quite definitely a crook, it gives nobody any confidence that the very people are supposed to protect us and bring justice, are affectively worse than crooks, Layla finds out that Jake is FBI ! Beautifully written, blessings. Roy a

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Jake is determined to set things right in the fair city and the Chief, regardless of how big he thinks he is, will fall....Like the saying goes,,,the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
    Thanks, Roy. Smiles, Carol
reply by royowen on 10-Mar-2024
    That?s right
Comment from Esther Brown
Excellent
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Definitely a 6 but can't give them all out I learned. Grrrr.
I am starting to get my possible bad guys confused. Good job. Sounds like it will be the last page so I will keep turning as quick as you write them!
Esther

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    I am confused, Esther. Who told you that you can't give out sixes? They are your to do with what you want....whether it's me or anyone else, you can give them as you see fit. I appreciate the review and your kindness. The "good" guys are Jake (FBI) and the bad guy (The Chief of Police).
    Smiles, Carol
reply by Esther Brown on 10-Mar-2024
    I lucked out. My first reviewers were also good writers and anyone who reviewed me I read their stuff. Hence having all my stars gone long before my first week was done. As a newbie I get a list of sponsored reviews, but found some of the writing terrible. I felt awful giving low ratings so went back to my favorites. Smiling. One lady told me I don't need to stop and put stars in at all, just read the story. Does it make a difference if it is old stuff or not?
reply by Esther Brown on 10-Mar-2024
    I lucked out. My first reviewers were also good writers and anyone who reviewed me I read their stuff. Hence having all my stars gone long before my first week was done. As a newbie I get a list of sponsored reviews, but found some of the writing terrible. I felt awful giving low ratings so went back to my favorites. Smiling. One lady told me I don't need to stop and put stars in at all, just read the story. Does it make a difference if it is old stuff or not?
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Most just like you to read what they have written. I like to get that immediate pump of adrenalin when someone likes what I write. And if they don't or they have issues, it gives me a chance to make adjustments. It's your choice with what you like.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Whoa girl. Now we are percolating on high heat! Things are coming to a head and good old Richard will soon have that smile wiped off his face. I like the way you handled the attraction between Layla and Jake.

Not overdone... Just a frisson of a hint they'll grow closer.

A couple thoughts:

*
"'I've not been forthcoming about who I am with you or anyone else in this town, really."

(One too many quotation marks before "I've"

*
" A sudden urge to kiss her overwhelmed her."
(Overwhelmed HIM?)

*
" using the red-light district for profit by selling THEM to the highest bidders."

Should you not identify "them" --
prostitutes? Sex workers? Women?

*
"Antonio's awol so you take his spot."
(While "awol" is acceptable, AWOL is the usual way to present this acronym.)

Feel free to ignore. I'm not a "pro" at "prose" as you well know!

Karenina

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Great suggestions and I so appreciate them...always. And thank you for the kind read and review. I haven't had many reviews today so they are greatly appreciated. Have a great day!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So, Harrison knows Jake is FBI. This can't be good, but Jake did call for backup so hopefully they'll be okay. I think I'm falling in love with Jake. He's be a good partner on Garth's team.

Shrugging, he smiled, "It's all I could find." (smiled.)

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Seems he's got moles everywhere but then Jakes got his own backup. Guess we see how it plays out. Thanks for the awesome review, support, and stars.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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I hope Jake knows or at least suspects that William may know what he is up to and want to kill him. Does William know the woman in the river wasn't Alyssa. I'm not sure who tried to make it look like Alyssa. He does know that Antonio didn't kill, but maybe he thinks Tommy did?? I'm not sure why he isn't trying to fine Troy to arrest him before the press conference.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    No William...Chief Richard Harrison. He had Marcos stage the whole body thing, hoping that Layla would accept it at face value and simply return to New York. But...she didn't! It's all happening fast, but if he holds the press conference saying it's the body of a undercover cop and Troy is responsible, he's counting on someone knocking Troy off when he surfaces or merely framing him again.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by BethShelby on 10-Mar-2024
    I think I got William from someone else's story but I mean Richard. Then Richard doesn know where Alyssa is? That could complicate things for him if she should turn up, couldn't it?
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Yes, but he believes Tommy took care of her. And at the moment she suffers from amnesia.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Aha! Who is following him? I'm glad Troy told Layla the truth, it means we know it too. But that dirty Richard knew it too. Now I can't wait to read the next chapter. You are so talented, Carol, and so clever to be doing this, posting a chapter a day! Just one slip up, ....Taking her hands in his, he ran his hands through her hair????.... Jake doesn't have four hands!! Lol. Well done my friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xxx

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 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    OOPs! Troy is in the hospital. It's Jake (FBI) that's with Layla.
    Another oops...duh! I've created a monster instead of a caring FBI guy. Thanks for catching that...I am off to fix it.
    Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 10-Mar-2024
    I'm terrible with names, Carol. Of course Troy wouldn't be following them! DUH!!

    I don't mix the story up but just the characters names!! LOL. Sorry Carol. (Don't go and tell me you're not Carol! LOL!!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Me too! I've had people respond with a review or reply and call me by someone else's name. And there's so many characters flying around in this story, it's hard to keep the good ones and the bad ones separated.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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The story is moving along very well, and I enjoyed listening to it. I wish you the very best with the book and I hope the day turns out just exactly the way you wanted to turn out. Patricia .

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
    Thanks Patricia for reading chapter 12. I fear you missed Chapter 11 though since I posted them at the same time. Appreciate the review.
    Smiles, Carol