Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Panpipes - Chapter 15"A Novella
26 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
I still am enjoying this story. I like that you take me from one remote area to another. The language is sometimes very confusing but you slip in explanations with out it being obvious. Well done. Excited for the next chapter. Gretchen
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I still am enjoying this story. I like that you take me from one remote area to another. The language is sometimes very confusing but you slip in explanations with out it being obvious. Well done. Excited for the next chapter. Gretchen
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks, Gretchen. Glad you're still enjoying it. All good wishes. Tony.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Oh, no..... poor Bapit.. a staph infection and the poison is now in his bloodstream.... that sounds bad.
I love the way you write. The imagery is superb....
"after the rain; such a rich, earthy smell and the air seemed to have been washed clean."
Wonderful personification too.....
"the soft hues of twilight were tucked into the edge of the world"
I'm enjoying the book, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Oh, no..... poor Bapit.. a staph infection and the poison is now in his bloodstream.... that sounds bad.
I love the way you write. The imagery is superb....
"after the rain; such a rich, earthy smell and the air seemed to have been washed clean."
Wonderful personification too.....
"the soft hues of twilight were tucked into the edge of the world"
I'm enjoying the book, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Gypsy. Always so much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from estory
I thought this was a pretty solid chapter. The tension was there, as Ayesha finds out Bapit is sick with a staph infection and in danger, and there's that meeting with the money manager who is probably up to no good hanging over her head. The images of the bats, at once an omen of evil and an omen of good fortune, seems to cut both ways and the suspense hangs in the air as she sets out for Australia. I think the dialogue was nice and crisp, especially between Ayesha and the doctor. estory
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I thought this was a pretty solid chapter. The tension was there, as Ayesha finds out Bapit is sick with a staph infection and in danger, and there's that meeting with the money manager who is probably up to no good hanging over her head. The images of the bats, at once an omen of evil and an omen of good fortune, seems to cut both ways and the suspense hangs in the air as she sets out for Australia. I think the dialogue was nice and crisp, especially between Ayesha and the doctor. estory
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks for these comments, estory, especially the ones about the dialogue. Most affirming. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
Poor Ayesha - she had plans to make things right but now both Bapit and Mr. Chanarong are in a bad state. I hope she can still buy the elephant.
What I enjoyed about this post was the contrast of the cultures. Ayesha is wary about the situations but she has not choice whether to believe the locals or not. The flower lady's explanation of the white roses sounds okay but often "white" is a mourning color so I hope it's not received as a death wish. And I like the different view of the bats. Somchai is again a source of wisdom, whether Ayesha trusts him or not.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Poor Ayesha - she had plans to make things right but now both Bapit and Mr. Chanarong are in a bad state. I hope she can still buy the elephant.
What I enjoyed about this post was the contrast of the cultures. Ayesha is wary about the situations but she has not choice whether to believe the locals or not. The flower lady's explanation of the white roses sounds okay but often "white" is a mourning color so I hope it's not received as a death wish. And I like the different view of the bats. Somchai is again a source of wisdom, whether Ayesha trusts him or not.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Ah, those white roses! Which way to take them? I hope she hasn't made a mistake here. As always, I appreciate your comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Jim Wile
An interesting chapter as Ayesha, who is a thoughtful person, attempts to make amends with Chanarong by going against custom and choosing to give him a thoughtful gift of flowers. She is thwarted in both her missions that day, but doesn't let herself get down for long.
I love the restraint with which you use description of setting. It is just enough to give us a picture of the different scenes without a lot of unnecessary detail to skim through. The brief description of the little Chinese florist gave us a good idea of what kind of store it likely was.
Even your description of the bats in the garden had a purpose--to provide a portent of good fortune. Nothing gratuitous or extraneous in your descriptions. I much prefer that over long-winded renditions of every aspect of a scene. - Jim
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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An interesting chapter as Ayesha, who is a thoughtful person, attempts to make amends with Chanarong by going against custom and choosing to give him a thoughtful gift of flowers. She is thwarted in both her missions that day, but doesn't let herself get down for long.
I love the restraint with which you use description of setting. It is just enough to give us a picture of the different scenes without a lot of unnecessary detail to skim through. The brief description of the little Chinese florist gave us a good idea of what kind of store it likely was.
Even your description of the bats in the garden had a purpose--to provide a portent of good fortune. Nothing gratuitous or extraneous in your descriptions. I much prefer that over long-winded renditions of every aspect of a scene. - Jim
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I appreciate your comments about the restrained and purposeful use of description. I have been trying to be more mindful of that recently. It's easy to let the poetic side loose and wax lyrical to little or no effect!
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True. I've almost stopped reading anything by Dean Koontz because of that. He can go on and on about a setting. After a paragraph or two, I think...I get...the point!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Ayesha isn't having very good luck right now. I am hoping the fruit bats have changed that. I am worried about her trip back home. I hope danger isn't waiting for her. This is a very good write and I really like this story.
Even supposing that he recovered, (you can omit 'that', it's not needed)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Ayesha isn't having very good luck right now. I am hoping the fruit bats have changed that. I am worried about her trip back home. I hope danger isn't waiting for her. This is a very good write and I really like this story.
Even supposing that he recovered, (you can omit 'that', it's not needed)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks , Barbara, for another astute piece of that-spotting!
The next chapter or two will take place in Australia or in transit. Time enough for her to sort a few things out. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well. That's a twist in the plot.
You've obviously done a whole lot of research into the culture.
Did Bapit get the flowers sent to his room? (smiley face here)
Nicely written. Good work.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Well. That's a twist in the plot.
You've obviously done a whole lot of research into the culture.
Did Bapit get the flowers sent to his room? (smiley face here)
Nicely written. Good work.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your encouraging comments, Wayne. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Treischel
I thoroughly enjoyed your description of the shop keeled girl. Nice detail. I learned something about Thai culture and flower edicate. Another unexpected turn in the blood poisoning. I had to smile at the Ung-ang frog. Also learned some bat superstitious. Most enjoyable read, even though the subjects were dark.
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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I thoroughly enjoyed your description of the shop keeled girl. Nice detail. I learned something about Thai culture and flower edicate. Another unexpected turn in the blood poisoning. I had to smile at the Ung-ang frog. Also learned some bat superstitious. Most enjoyable read, even though the subjects were dark.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your encouraging comments, Tom. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You are weaving this story well. You are holding my interest. I do not think I would stay there long myself. She was still just running. She is finally going to face her future. We will see what she makes of it. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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You are weaving this story well. You are holding my interest. I do not think I would stay there long myself. She was still just running. She is finally going to face her future. We will see what she makes of it. Karen :-)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your continued interest, Karen. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Tony,
What a sensory image-filled chapter that I very much enjoyed reading.
I so enjoyed reading about the "Five Blessings," and I smiled when I read the following paragraph:
"Cheeky sod! Who was he to be suggesting she should take her virtue with her? The memory of his dubious dealings when he'd sold her gold chain had not entirely evaporated ... and was he really wishing her a peaceful death? Maybe he was right, though. Better not to leave death behind to skulk around at the foot of Bapit's bed."
Ayesha is one spunky lady, and having dealt with doctors when my loved ones were holding on to life, I also appreciated how she took matters into her own hands and began to proceed to the ward to see Bapit. The exchange between Ayesha and the doctor was also noted.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Good morning, Tony,
What a sensory image-filled chapter that I very much enjoyed reading.
I so enjoyed reading about the "Five Blessings," and I smiled when I read the following paragraph:
"Cheeky sod! Who was he to be suggesting she should take her virtue with her? The memory of his dubious dealings when he'd sold her gold chain had not entirely evaporated ... and was he really wishing her a peaceful death? Maybe he was right, though. Better not to leave death behind to skulk around at the foot of Bapit's bed."
Ayesha is one spunky lady, and having dealt with doctors when my loved ones were holding on to life, I also appreciated how she took matters into her own hands and began to proceed to the ward to see Bapit. The exchange between Ayesha and the doctor was also noted.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your encouraging comments, Diane. I suspect you may enjoy Ayesha's meeting with Johnno in Sydney! All the best, Tony
