Reviews from

Panpipes

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Panpipes - Chapter 14"
A Novella

22 total reviews 
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ayesha is a smart woman and I sense she's going to get a good deal to help Bapit get back on his feet (so to speak). Your chapter, as ever, reads flawlessly and moves the plot along engagingly with good momentum. Thanks for sharing, Tony. Debbie

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Debbie. As always, I appreciate your kind words. It does seem that Ayesha isn't quite the bimbo Bruno took her to be!
Comment from royowen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love that saying, bridges were made to be crossed, and yes, some people couldn't resist crossing them. She's so rich now she wants to purchase everything in sight to please Bapit and make life a little more sumptuous for him, beautifully written Tony, you're a gifted writer, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Thank you very much for your kind words, Roy, and the accolade of a sixth star. Greatly appreciated.
    My best wishes, as always, Tony.
reply by royowen on 10-Feb-2024
    Most welcome
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So pleased to have caught up. Good story continuing. I did not have time to review the chapters I have missed. Not sure I am getting notified. Keep up the great work. It will be interesting to see if she has the fortune she thinks she has.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Geoffrey. Always good to hear from you. My best wishes, as always. Tony.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I thought this chapter was better than the last couple, more focused, better managed, and the writing seemed crisper; the story seems to be moving forward in a certain direction again. Now we see Ayesha seems to have made up her mind to buy the elephant and give her to Bapit, no matter how hard that might be, overcoming whatever obstacles lay in the way. The obstacles put out by the older people around are frustrating. There are laws, there is the favor the old resort owner is doing for a friend. But we see Ayesha's determination against it all. Her thoughts seem to jump off the page and take flight in this chapter. There is the light of hope, there is the thunderstorm of adversity here. The suspense is building again. Nice work here my friend. estory

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Thanks, estory. Your reviews always provide meaningful support along the way, and when you find a spare six and drop it on one of my chapters, it gives me quite a buzz. All good wishes, as always, Tony.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Ah, so Ayesha is determined to buy the elephant or, at least, so it seems. But again, I can see the cultural differences and difficulties she will encounter. We'll see. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Yes, there will be a few more hurdles put in her way and no guarantee that she'll clear them. As you say, we shall see.
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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I love how this is progressing, Tony. I love Ayesha's can-do spirit and that she's not willing to accept that "there's nothing we can do" according to Bapit. She is adventuresome and strong-willed, and if there's a way to rescue Abhamaru, she will find it. Bapit, first with his introducing her to the elephant then to his injuring himself, has certainly brought out the compassionate side of her.

I learned a new word from you: bombination. I'd heard of abomination but never a bombination, and had to look it up.

I love your writing style. Even something simple like this:

'You and I will work it all out, won't we, old fella?' Kiet's tail twitched in his dreams as if to acknowledge her confidence in him. She sighed, envying the lack of complications in his life.

is so beautifully put to show how her life is getting more difficult and involved now that she's no longer just a pretty plaything and showpiece for Bruno.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    I'm delighted that Ayesha's character arc is gradually becoming more apparent.
    I chanced upon bombination by accident and couldn't resist the onomatopoeic effect when describing a rickety fan.
    Thanks for another perceptive and supportive review.
    All the best, Tony.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Congregations on being the first chapter contest winner. I am not at all surprised. Very deserving.

I can't wait to see exactly what proposal Ayesha shares with Chanarong. I t should be interesting. Maybe she'll buy the entire thing. Bapit could be in charge.

She was awakened early next morning by an ominous rumbling around the hills. (early the following morning)

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your congratulations and the award of a sixth star for this fourteenth chapter.
    I suspect Ayesha would do that if the opportunity arose. She's impulsive enough! LOL
Comment from Treischel
Excellent
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The discussion about the elephant and handler was touching, and the pep talk about doing something was realistic. The discussion of the heat and fan were very descriptive. The discussion about Chanin was a twist. Amazing that Ayesha wants to buy an elephant. That's a surprise.Your description of the storm: the sky and thunder, lightning and river of orange mud is very poetic. The closing was sensual. An excellent chapter.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Thanks for your comments, Tom. Most affirming. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Well now. Problems that money can solve. And loads of money.
sixty-five thousand of your Australian dollars. - Wasn't the cost of Bapit's hi-tech prosthesis exactly 65,000?
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Yes, coincidentally exactly the same amount. I wonder if there's any significance in that. One thing seems certain and that's the huge amount of money Ayesha can splash around. I wonder if she'll do so wisely.
Comment from Jacob1395
Excellent
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I love how you draw us into the setting in your writing particularly with the road becoming a river of orange mud, I thought that was really well done and I could see it so clearly. I'm glad the warmth seems to be there again in Ayesha and Bapit's relationship. I can't wait to read on.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
    Thanks for these affirming remarks, Jacob. Very much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony