Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Sounds like Bobby may be a prodigy.
Nice, error-free writing.
I'm a bit surprised that Ginnie doesn't have a boyfriend considering how open she is to Alan.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thanks, Wayne. We'll gain some more insight about her a little later which may help to explain why.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Another interesting and insightful chapter, and I like the subtle way you are informing the reader, through conversation about the problems associated with dyslexia. Very well written.
Wendy
Edit: He usually let's me stay after and finish them, (lets)

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thank you, Wendy. Hey, great catch there. Thanks.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

It was a good idea to break the chapter where it was. It helps to keep my attention.
Is it strange that model kits are a thing of the past, and baseball, once the rave, has petered out since the Big Red Machine. Golly, I lived for ball, any ball. I played stick ball, step ball, wall ball, wire ball, whiffle ball home-run derby and little league. I would pitch every pitch Robin Roberts and Curt Simmons tossed into a pillow while listening to the game. Baseball seemingly was on every other A.M. channel.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Those were the days, weren't they? I used to really love baseball too until golf took its place in my life. Still liked to watch it, though. I was a real fan of the Detroit Tigers when I lived in Michigan, especially when they won the World Series in '84. I probably listened to or saw almost every game that year and went to a few at Tiger Stadium.

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Another good chapter, Jim. No suggestions from me. The conversations are authentic in conveying the dynamic of a first social interaction. Tommy's eagerness is nicely matched by Alan's interest. Alan' obvious interest in Ginnie is understated and not made explicit to her. I'm left wondering what the spark will be to ignite a stronger flame. Perhaps another instance of Alan coming to Tommy's rescue?

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thanks, Tony.

There will be a few sparks between them of a different nature before they finally get together as a couple.

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Jim,
This chapter reads well. I would be both excited and a little scared for Tommy to get too attached to me. Kids have unrealistic expectations and I fear that he would be disappointed if for some reason Alan didn't make it to the game, or if he couldn't spend time with Tommy for some reason. On the other hand, being without a father figure for so long, Alan could fill a big void in his life. It will be interesting to see where this goes.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

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 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thanks, Tom. That's a good point, and you have nailed what's coming soon. We seem to be very much of like minds.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Everything looks good and well polished. A nicely written and wholesome chapter.

notes:

"How about me, Mom?" said Tommy.
"When you're older."
"Rats.

- Suggests removing this. It is a too well used cliche.

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 Comment Written 09-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thanks, Lance.

You're probably right about that. I'll see if I can come up with something more clever than that.