Reviews from

Panpipes

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Panpipes - Chapter 10"
A Novella

29 total reviews 
Comment from Frank Malley
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This exceptional and dramatic read took me through a string of emotions. Full of hints and suggestions, varying from ordinary to shocking, this chapter suggests that its book has a real market out there in the world.
The old-hand know-how in the fishing portion of this excerpt had to have been written by a fisherman. This bit of a book grabbed me.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Thanks very much for this affirming review, Frank, and for the sixth star. Greatly appreciated. I'm delighted to hear that you think there may be a market for the book and that you thought the fishing paragraphs realistic. I've never been game fishing so it's particularly good to hear that came across well. All good wishes, Tony.
reply by Frank Malley on 11-Jan-2024
    You must have some good sources for fishing experiences! Frank
Comment from Treischel
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It is amazing to me how you can transition to so many different places and times with such ease. The hospital scene was believable. I likes the juxtapisition of loss of lime, with loss of Ayesha. Such intrigue with her phone call later in Australia. Then the surprising fishing scene. Wonderfully done

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Thanks for this most affirming review, Tom, and the accompanying sixth star. Both greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

There's a couple of blockbuster developements here, but the end of Bruno and the sharks eating him after Johnno slits his throat was the real kicker. We also learn that Suttikil has been found out, his plot foiled, and Ayesha is still connected to it all and under a bit of suspicion. You also had a tense scene in the hospital with Bapit struggling with pain and the psychological effects of losing his leg. And being abandoned by Ayesha. So there's a lot going on there. The dialogue, especially on the boat and in the hospital, I think, was really spot on. Terse and emotional and the scene description of the nervous lieutenant slitting Bruno's throat was excellent. Great TV video writing. estory

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Thanks for these affirming comments, estory, especially those concerning the dialogue. One or two people have mentioned TV drama, so I might make enquiries about who to pitch it to.
    I appreciate the validation of a sixth star. Thank you. All good wishes, Tony.
reply by estory on 12-Jan-2024
    I think there's a lot of polish on this, so it's worth a shot. estory
Comment from Mustang Patty
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,
Thank you for sharing another chapter of this intriguing story. I can't believe that Bruno is actually dead! And his death came on so quickly - I'm glad he died while fishing - an activity he truly enjoyed. (We should all be so lucky.)
~MP~

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Thanks, Patty. At least he died happy - except for the splitting headache, that is!
reply by Mustang Patty on 14-Jan-2024
    LOL - yeah, I guess the splitting headache would be awful - but all would be forgotten with death.
Comment from Jacob1395
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love how you keep managing to up the tension in each chapter. I really feel for Ayesha not knowing what is going on behind the scenes, and I keep sensing that more danger lies ahead for her. Another entertaining read Tony.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
    Thanks again, Jacob. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, what a chapter - so full of surprises. Tolstoy would be happy with the literary justice. But he killed off people the readers liked. At least, Bruno's second death is not mourned by anyone.
I wonder how Ayesha will get back to Thailand. It seems Bapit and Ayesha have a stronger connection than either of them expected.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
    Thanks, Helen. Good riddance to Bruno! I don't anticipate Ayesha having any problems returning unless she's under suspicion of an offence.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So now Bruno is really dead. That's an interesting development. I'm wondering when they'll discover that drugs were smuggled. You're doing a great job writing this.

stung with the intensity of fire ants. (great description)


 Comment Written 10-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
    Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your continued interest and support. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So Bruno is now really dead. Bapit now has to come to terms with the amputation. What a great chapter this is, Tony. It so very well written. All best, Ulla :)))

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
    Thanks, Ulla. I appreciate your continued interest and support. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, that took care of that!
Well written, by the way.
And no one needs to inform Ayesha since Bruno is already dead.
Good luck with the book and best wishes.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
    Thanks, Wayne. I appreciate your continued interest and support. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Jim Wile
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, Tony. Great chapter! So much going on with the Australian police aware of Suttikul's plot to smuggle in the heroin, Bapit's coming to grips with his amputated leg, and Bruno's demise while fishing and subsequently becoming shark food.

I really enjoy your use of language and descriptions: "Utter hopelessness and despair surged over him like a wave, only to recede again leaving fractured images glimmering on the damp shore of his fading consciousness." So well written.

I'm wondering how the Suttikul/Bruno plotline will intersect with the Ayesha/Bapit/elephant plot line. Ayesha is the obvious tie-in, but it seems like the police are not interested in her. I guess we'll find out. Great writing - Jim

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
    Thanks for another most supportive review, Jim, and for your award of a sixth star. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony