Comment from Janis M.

Excellent

I know this was a great loop poem because I didn't even realize it was a loop until about halfway through. Your words were chosen well and it shows! Well done and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thank you so so much Janis!

Comment from Jacob1395

Exceptional

This was brilliant. The way how you wrote it really made me picture the sea crashing against the rocks, eroding away at the earth just that little bit more. The imagery in your piece was stunning. I really enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thank you so much again, Jacob! Your high rating is truly appreciated :)

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

I love this very much. I love the fact that you used sand to represent the people which are most of the people as being sand, because they could be easily washed away with when trials come. And yet you use the rock as those people who are strong and stand tall and proud in their even most difficult times they have. Keep writing and keep sharing with us because you are an excellent writer. Patricia.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thank you so much Patricia for your kind feedback!

reply by patcelaw on 20-Dec-2023

You are quite welcome.

Comment from Eleri

Good

This is a great idea for a short poem but your eighth line should begin with 'life' not 'before' and I think that your use of the word 'weeps' in the last line is a bit suspect - surely it should be 'weeping' to be grammatically correct. Also, I don't quite understand your second line as it does not quite make sense to me - perhaps I am missing something obvious though. If so - sorry. Good luck with the poem though as I do like the idea
Eleri


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 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

The 2nd line represents the sand succumbing to the harsh waves of life, if you read my description you would know that. Thanks for your suggestions.

Comment from Wy Jung

Excellent

8th grade? My friend, you have great talent for someone so young. I am also new here and have been finding a great community. I know you will too. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
You have found the place you should be, among great writers of all sorts. Welcome. Please keep writing, you have a keen grasp of words and how to paint pictures with them.

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 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023

Thank you so much!! Your support is much appreciated :)