Innocence Betrayed
An entry in the Betrayal Poetry Contest36 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Wow! Navada, this is a powerful poem, a stalker preying on an innocent child. The stalker knows the difference between right and wrong. But he is selfish, thinking only of himself and not the little girl. I like the titles you give them... he is a "vulture", she is a "lamb".
"how can i ever delight in someone else's touch
without your fingers creeping over my skin?
how can i ever thrill to another's kiss
without remembering yours?"... lasting effects of this encounter.
And the innocent wonders if she has done something wrong. She feels guilty somehow. But he's the one that has taken a "priceless treasure" for the "pleasure of discovery". ( good pairing rhyme there with "treasure/pleasure")
"what an exchange
you took my priceless treasure -
the pleasure of discovery"
I especially like your ending, given as a warning by the little girl...
"Hide your lambs."
No one was there to protect her. How come? How can a vulture come so close to home without someone seeing it?
I suspect this happens more frequently than we would expect.
An excellent entry for the Betrayal Poetry contest!
Good Luck!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Wow! Navada, this is a powerful poem, a stalker preying on an innocent child. The stalker knows the difference between right and wrong. But he is selfish, thinking only of himself and not the little girl. I like the titles you give them... he is a "vulture", she is a "lamb".
"how can i ever delight in someone else's touch
without your fingers creeping over my skin?
how can i ever thrill to another's kiss
without remembering yours?"... lasting effects of this encounter.
And the innocent wonders if she has done something wrong. She feels guilty somehow. But he's the one that has taken a "priceless treasure" for the "pleasure of discovery". ( good pairing rhyme there with "treasure/pleasure")
"what an exchange
you took my priceless treasure -
the pleasure of discovery"
I especially like your ending, given as a warning by the little girl...
"Hide your lambs."
No one was there to protect her. How come? How can a vulture come so close to home without someone seeing it?
I suspect this happens more frequently than we would expect.
An excellent entry for the Betrayal Poetry contest!
Good Luck!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 18-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much for your detailed, thoughtful and generous review! xx
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Navada,
this is a truly disturbing post. I'm not sure who the perpetrator is, perhaps someone the author trusted, since it's a betrayal. I saw a movie a few months back about children being kidnapped and being sold to pedophiles who traded them like commodities. My anger burned so badly. It's disturbing to see that the U.S. is a major market for these innocent children. I think that prayer is the only way to combat these despicable people, until such time that they are caught and prosecuted. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Tom
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Hello Navada,
this is a truly disturbing post. I'm not sure who the perpetrator is, perhaps someone the author trusted, since it's a betrayal. I saw a movie a few months back about children being kidnapped and being sold to pedophiles who traded them like commodities. My anger burned so badly. It's disturbing to see that the U.S. is a major market for these innocent children. I think that prayer is the only way to combat these despicable people, until such time that they are caught and prosecuted. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Tom
Comment Written 18-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much for your insightful and detailed, Tom - much appreciated. xx
Comment from Yusita
This is a raw and riveting write that wakes us up/reminds us of the alarming reality that there are "vultures", "predators", "wolves", etc out there and we need to be watchful with those (lambs) who could become their prey. I like how you ended with "Hide your lambs". Such a fitting way to finish this piece.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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This is a raw and riveting write that wakes us up/reminds us of the alarming reality that there are "vultures", "predators", "wolves", etc out there and we need to be watchful with those (lambs) who could become their prey. I like how you ended with "Hide your lambs". Such a fitting way to finish this piece.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much for your empathetic and thoughtful feedback. xx
Comment from Ulla
Hi Navada. This is a compelling poem and it breaks my heart. The cruelty of what those monsters are doing in the name of God is completely beyond me. I will never understand how they can ruin children's life in that way. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Hi Navada. This is a compelling poem and it breaks my heart. The cruelty of what those monsters are doing in the name of God is completely beyond me. I will never understand how they can ruin children's life in that way. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much for your empathetic feedback and the very generous six stars, Ulla - much appreciated.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This one left me utterly bereft. You totally took us inside the mind and heart and soul of this child and made us understand the consternation and betrayal and powerlessness that was wrought. And then that leads us to understand how this situation is for ALLLLL children who suffer at the hands of ill adults.
Absolutely BRILLIANTLY done. This deserves a DOZEN stars, minimum.
xoxox
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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This one left me utterly bereft. You totally took us inside the mind and heart and soul of this child and made us understand the consternation and betrayal and powerlessness that was wrought. And then that leads us to understand how this situation is for ALLLLL children who suffer at the hands of ill adults.
Absolutely BRILLIANTLY done. This deserves a DOZEN stars, minimum.
xoxox
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thank you so very much for your empathetic response and very generous six stars. This was a difficult one to post. So many of these stories are never reported and the impact is so widespread. My former college chaplain from my secondary school is Australia's most prolific pedophile priest (no, this story is not about him) and that information sits so uncomfortably. His bishop, instead of ensuring he was prosecuted, simply moved him around from parish to parish to parish for many years, which meant that his crimes were spread over a much larger area and many more children (hundreds) were hurt. It absolutely beggars belief.
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That happened constantly in America, too. There are so many lawsuits against these kinds of clergy, in fact, that the Catholic church about went belly-up. Just disgusting.
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Have you seen the movie Spotlight? I found that riveting, disturbing and shicking, but not surprising. How "men of God" can be so blind and deaf to the consequences of their actions leaves me so cold.
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No, I haven't seen it, but I'll check it out. I'm on vacation next week, so that will be on my Vacation To Do list! Thanks. xo
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a very powerful verse capturing the horrors of sexual abuse and domination. Your particular style of variation in font helps to give the dialogue more immediacy and pathos and thus drive home the message that our innocents remain forever vulnerable and must be protected. Thanks for sharing, Navada, and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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This is a very powerful verse capturing the horrors of sexual abuse and domination. Your particular style of variation in font helps to give the dialogue more immediacy and pathos and thus drive home the message that our innocents remain forever vulnerable and must be protected. Thanks for sharing, Navada, and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback, Debbie. xx
Comment from Wendyanne
This reminds me of my entry called The Wolf and the Lamb. I wonder how many children have been betrayed by people who they should be able to trust? I like the use of different fonts. Very effective. Good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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This reminds me of my entry called The Wolf and the Lamb. I wonder how many children have been betrayed by people who they should be able to trust? I like the use of different fonts. Very effective. Good luck.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much, Wendyanne. xx
Comment from royowen
One of the things I've always been aware of is the damage that could be caused to to my little ones, I was very protective of my daughters, they married their only boyfriends, both of them, both happily married, prayers can work, I'm so sorry for those dear innocent lambs, that can have their lives and self esteem ruined too, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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One of the things I've always been aware of is the damage that could be caused to to my little ones, I was very protective of my daughters, they married their only boyfriends, both of them, both happily married, prayers can work, I'm so sorry for those dear innocent lambs, that can have their lives and self esteem ruined too, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much, Roy. I'm delighted that things have worked out so positively for your daughters. xx
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Of course, with God all things are possible
Comment from estory
The bare bones language here rips the band aid off this soul wound. You tell it like it is, from the child's perspective, with all the guilt and fear and disgust boiling up to the surface from inside. This piece confronts us with the reality of child abuse, and the depth of damage it does, and challenges us to do something on behalf of these kids, I think. Powerful piece. It's a bit of an unusual, imaginative form, sort of half way between poetry and drama script writing. estory
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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The bare bones language here rips the band aid off this soul wound. You tell it like it is, from the child's perspective, with all the guilt and fear and disgust boiling up to the surface from inside. This piece confronts us with the reality of child abuse, and the depth of damage it does, and challenges us to do something on behalf of these kids, I think. Powerful piece. It's a bit of an unusual, imaginative form, sort of half way between poetry and drama script writing. estory
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much - I really appreciate this feedback. xx
Comment from Kaiku
This write is certainly provoking. The font style used was very appropriate and the innocence of a lamb was 'sheared' away by a stalking vulture. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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This write is certainly provoking. The font style used was very appropriate and the innocence of a lamb was 'sheared' away by a stalking vulture. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much for your feedback and your very generous six stars - it is greatly appreciated. xx
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YW