Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Panpipes - Chapter 4"A Novella
30 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This was a strange turn of events for Bapit. It doesn't sound like a very good situation he is in at the moment but it likely saved him from the police since the hotel clerk planned to alert them that he was staying at the hotel.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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This was a strange turn of events for Bapit. It doesn't sound like a very good situation he is in at the moment but it likely saved him from the police since the hotel clerk planned to alert them that he was staying at the hotel.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Thanks, Beth. I appreciate your comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a great chapter, Tony. Poor, naive Bapit--just doing what he'd seen in the soap operas, and what does he get for it? A lesson he'll not soon forget. That was a wonderful step (or should I say misstep) in the development of their relationship. It will be interesting to see what he must do to win her back.
This was very realistic, as you portrayed both of their reactions beautifully. - Jim
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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This was a great chapter, Tony. Poor, naive Bapit--just doing what he'd seen in the soap operas, and what does he get for it? A lesson he'll not soon forget. That was a wonderful step (or should I say misstep) in the development of their relationship. It will be interesting to see what he must do to win her back.
This was very realistic, as you portrayed both of their reactions beautifully. - Jim
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Thanks, Jim. I appreciate your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from jmdg1954
This chapter ran a full gamut of story and emotions. The awaited fight has occurred with Klahan victorious earning money for Ayesha which later caused a significant turn of events with an unsure Bapit.
Let's see where he's ended up being hauled to.
Good post.
John
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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This chapter ran a full gamut of story and emotions. The awaited fight has occurred with Klahan victorious earning money for Ayesha which later caused a significant turn of events with an unsure Bapit.
Let's see where he's ended up being hauled to.
Good post.
John
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thanks very much for your review, John. I appreciate the supportive comments. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Jacob1395
This was an excellent, tense chapter Tony. I really liked the action when you were describing the fight that was taking place and then the scene between Bapit and Ayesha towards the end. The pace flowed really well and I really enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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This was an excellent, tense chapter Tony. I really liked the action when you were describing the fight that was taking place and then the scene between Bapit and Ayesha towards the end. The pace flowed really well and I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thank you for the encouraging and affirming words, Jacob. Greatly appreciated, as are the six stars. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This doesn't seem very realistic. He knows she had a fight with her husband, and ran away not knowing of his demise. He did, and yet he expects she will simply fall onto his arms if he shoves her around a bit? Add to that he took her money knowing she would need it on the run. Stupid behavior. Karen
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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This doesn't seem very realistic. He knows she had a fight with her husband, and ran away not knowing of his demise. He did, and yet he expects she will simply fall onto his arms if he shoves her around a bit? Add to that he took her money knowing she would need it on the run. Stupid behavior. Karen
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thank you most particularly for this review, Karen. It is always good to get a reality check. Several points to consider here.
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Just my thoughts. You are the writer of this story. Karen
Comment from phill doran
Hello Tony,
A lovely turn of events! Clever writing; luring us on, setting the scene for a Mills & Boon euphuistically-drenched bonking... only then to smash it all to pieces, placing our unconscious would-be rapist hero in a male-bonding dilemma (I can't wait to read what happens next - will he take it like a man, one wonders!).
Engaging writing, exploring the Dark Side of "accidental intimacy" and, as I say, taking the story (and its reader) head on, with a really clever "turn" indeed.
Brilliant - and clearly very swift - writing. I envy your apparent work-rate.
cheers
phill
(I'm not too sure that Bapit would reflect on Ayesha's bartering skills as being something he had knowledge of from a "bitter" experience. The man is love-struck (this being a scene before he was ball-struck) and I think he might only see it as an 'experience', unable, as he would be, to see anything negative in his lover's ways. Just a thought.)
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Hello Tony,
A lovely turn of events! Clever writing; luring us on, setting the scene for a Mills & Boon euphuistically-drenched bonking... only then to smash it all to pieces, placing our unconscious would-be rapist hero in a male-bonding dilemma (I can't wait to read what happens next - will he take it like a man, one wonders!).
Engaging writing, exploring the Dark Side of "accidental intimacy" and, as I say, taking the story (and its reader) head on, with a really clever "turn" indeed.
Brilliant - and clearly very swift - writing. I envy your apparent work-rate.
cheers
phill
(I'm not too sure that Bapit would reflect on Ayesha's bartering skills as being something he had knowledge of from a "bitter" experience. The man is love-struck (this being a scene before he was ball-struck) and I think he might only see it as an 'experience', unable, as he would be, to see anything negative in his lover's ways. Just a thought.)
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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A subtle point but a valid one. You are right. Bapit's initial perception on the beach would have changed with the vastly different circumstances.
I'm not quite the whirlwind writer you imagine. I wrote the first draft of this ten years ago, just before joining FS. All I'm doing now is tearing it apart and putting it back together again in what I hope is better shape. I now have several short and medium length stories that I'm considering for publication in a single volume.
Thanks for a useful piece of fine tuning and the swathe of stars to hang upon my Christmas tree.
Comment from Sankey
Wow! What a turnaround. A pity Bapit followed the garbage on the movies. It could have been nice. I have read the other chapters I, sadly, missed.
All good and you have plenty of rewards without me
So glad I am now caught up and make sure you let me know when the next chapter comes up.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Wow! What a turnaround. A pity Bapit followed the garbage on the movies. It could have been nice. I have read the other chapters I, sadly, missed.
All good and you have plenty of rewards without me
So glad I am now caught up and make sure you let me know when the next chapter comes up.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Thanks for your kind comments, Geoffrey. At the moment I'm trying to post once every four or five days. Maybe not as much over Christmas. All good wishes to you both. Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! Poor Bapit. What started off as a romantic night turned into a horrible one. I don't remember the "Secret Garden" - wasn't that a comedy where the male and female changed bodies so the guy had to learn how hard it is to be a woman? It's terrible that a kdrama ruined Bapit's chance for love and now it seems he's been kidnapped! Maybe Ayesha should turn herself in...
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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Oh no! Poor Bapit. What started off as a romantic night turned into a horrible one. I don't remember the "Secret Garden" - wasn't that a comedy where the male and female changed bodies so the guy had to learn how hard it is to be a woman? It's terrible that a kdrama ruined Bapit's chance for love and now it seems he's been kidnapped! Maybe Ayesha should turn herself in...
Comment Written 16-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2023
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I haven't actually seen The Secret Garden, but had in mind the Korean version of 2010 which Google reliably informs me, is about 'a rich and narcissistic CEO of a successful company who falls in love with a down-to-earth stuntwoman, and deals with several conflicting emotions while trying to woo her.' I've taken a leap of faith in assuming there would have been some steamy love scenes in it! There was a Thai remake in 2019.
Anyway, it seems to have landed poor Bapit in a heap of trouble and left Ayesha in the lurch!
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These days, there are more "steamy" scenes in Kdrama but back in the time of Secret Garden, it wasn't. It was more hilarious because for some bizarre reason, the two changed bodies and that was what made the whole story so comical. I wouldn't choose this kdrama for the trouble for Bapit got into. The newer ones may have something like that but I can't recommend any to you.
Comment from Navada
Oh, no! See, this is why I never watch so-called reality TV dating shows. :) (Actually, this is far from the only reason why I would never watch those!) Poor Bapit. And poor Ayesha. I'm fascinated and quite worried to know what will happen next!
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Oh, no! See, this is why I never watch so-called reality TV dating shows. :) (Actually, this is far from the only reason why I would never watch those!) Poor Bapit. And poor Ayesha. I'm fascinated and quite worried to know what will happen next!
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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I totally agree! Awful stuff!
Now how am I going to get these two out of trouble?
Things are looking grim for both of them.
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I really hope Bapit discovers he has previously untapped abilities similar to his brother, and he returns unscathed to take Ayesha down the fire escape just in time ... :)
Comment from royowen
I think Bapit has a had a lesson in crossing cultures, and behaved like a sex crazed monster, but he should have realised his behaviour is no different to the behaviour of Ayesha's husband who treated her like a whore, and who could argue with that, but Bapit, has met a street fighter, well done Tony, Bapit has bought himself some trouble, excellent post, blessings
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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I think Bapit has a had a lesson in crossing cultures, and behaved like a sex crazed monster, but he should have realised his behaviour is no different to the behaviour of Ayesha's husband who treated her like a whore, and who could argue with that, but Bapit, has met a street fighter, well done Tony, Bapit has bought himself some trouble, excellent post, blessings
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023
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Thanks, Roy. Cross-cultural misunderstanding can lead to all sorts of unpleasant consequences. I appreciate your review and comments. All good wishes, Tony
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Most welcome
