Ghost
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Pawn"Biography/Supernatural
16 total reviews
Comment from Chuck Keller
Deeper and deeper we go into the trauma of these lives.
99.9% perfect.
The only flaw I caught was the tiny missed edit of: figure nail = finger nail.
I always enjoy seeing the message:
Lea has a new post.
You're great.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Deeper and deeper we go into the trauma of these lives.
99.9% perfect.
The only flaw I caught was the tiny missed edit of: figure nail = finger nail.
I always enjoy seeing the message:
Lea has a new post.
You're great.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Chuck, I have made that correction. You have an Eagle Eye for which I appreciate very much. I always welcome changes anything constructive. I'm opened to all of it. Thank you for your fine review once. Again, honey, so much to say so much. I had to do sometimes just to stay alive. But it's good to write it out. I hope whoever reads it, get something from it, that is my goal.
It's also good that I can peel The Onion in this way. Thanks again!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is no wonder you felt depressed Lea after what has happened to you. It is an awful feeling when you know your parents don't want you. I never felt wanted as a child but I was totally pragmatic about it. My Mother should never have had children, she was not nurturing and she simply couldn't help it. Over the years I came to terms with it and realised that she was unhappy with her own childhood and found it hard to forgive the past and she carried that bagged with her all the time. I showed my Mother love and I was determined to nurture my own children and give them the love I had missed growing up.
I think when you are fighting for your life you do not have time to be depressed, it is only afterwards when you reflect that you start to suffer Lea. You were never taught that life was magical and to enjoy every bit of it. But you can learn that kind of behaviour over time when you are healed.
Another fine chapter Lea, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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It is no wonder you felt depressed Lea after what has happened to you. It is an awful feeling when you know your parents don't want you. I never felt wanted as a child but I was totally pragmatic about it. My Mother should never have had children, she was not nurturing and she simply couldn't help it. Over the years I came to terms with it and realised that she was unhappy with her own childhood and found it hard to forgive the past and she carried that bagged with her all the time. I showed my Mother love and I was determined to nurture my own children and give them the love I had missed growing up.
I think when you are fighting for your life you do not have time to be depressed, it is only afterwards when you reflect that you start to suffer Lea. You were never taught that life was magical and to enjoy every bit of it. But you can learn that kind of behaviour over time when you are healed.
Another fine chapter Lea, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Dolly for showing up with me. Exactly what I needed to hear and you're right. I don't know what childhood was or love. I didn't know what happiness was. Certain things that I cannot change nor can I do anything about I simply have to set it aside too much I take too are sometimes. Yeah, that was my first bout of major debilitating depression wouldn't be my last. Unfortunately, everything I did saw and heard reverbs within me, pain never goes away. It's just sort of a changes shape. Thank you again. I appreciate your kind words and your compassion and knowing exactly what I'm talking about. I appreciate you and your time as always, thank you!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
The smell of food was making me nauseous any sudden movements. I was scared again.
Ugh. I just hate the thought of this so much. Happy freakin birthday, right? Only a robot wouldn't have succumbed to this perpetual torment...especially because you knew what was really what by that point and had had the freedom from it. My heart just bleeds for you, and you expressed the torment of your affliction so well.
Here's a few spags. I will put * before and after what needs changing. xo
No one who came around me or near me could touch me or make sudden movements*.* I would cower.
lasted days,*;* [so, semi-colon rather than comma] this time was no different.
I just couldn't do it.*[This is such an enormous statement that it needs a line all to itself. So make a new paragraph after this period.]*
So I lay there*. I laid there* [delete between astericks. It's the Department of Redundanct Department. haha] for days, refusing anything except for a little bit of water *heritage* [not the word you want here].
to go away *and* leave me alone and let me pass this.
If I saw anyone*,* I would think the same way.
Crying*,* rocking,
Lea, see how minor these are? You're doing GREAT with your proofreading!! I'm very impressed with how quickly you've gotten the hang of this!! We'll just add that to the list of ways you're remarkable. xoxox
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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The smell of food was making me nauseous any sudden movements. I was scared again.
Ugh. I just hate the thought of this so much. Happy freakin birthday, right? Only a robot wouldn't have succumbed to this perpetual torment...especially because you knew what was really what by that point and had had the freedom from it. My heart just bleeds for you, and you expressed the torment of your affliction so well.
Here's a few spags. I will put * before and after what needs changing. xo
No one who came around me or near me could touch me or make sudden movements*.* I would cower.
lasted days,*;* [so, semi-colon rather than comma] this time was no different.
I just couldn't do it.*[This is such an enormous statement that it needs a line all to itself. So make a new paragraph after this period.]*
So I lay there*. I laid there* [delete between astericks. It's the Department of Redundanct Department. haha] for days, refusing anything except for a little bit of water *heritage* [not the word you want here].
to go away *and* leave me alone and let me pass this.
If I saw anyone*,* I would think the same way.
Crying*,* rocking,
Lea, see how minor these are? You're doing GREAT with your proofreading!! I'm very impressed with how quickly you've gotten the hang of this!! We'll just add that to the list of ways you're remarkable. xoxox
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much, yes, I have made these corrections
I think I was asleep when writing the last bit. I thank you for using your Eagle Eye once again very helpful. I'm always happy to see your review. And your suggestions for change are always positive and well received.
I'm going to pop in 2 more today. One in the day one in the evening. I find I need a break between chapters. Self care, as you know, is important. Once again, you're wisdom and clarity is a wonderful asset!
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I think you're smart to do it that way. I can't imagine anyone writing well when they're emotionally spent. xo
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😉
Comment from Jim Wile
Lea, you've described something here that only those who have experienced it for themselves can appreciate how awful it is, even worse than any beating you ever received from your stepfather, as you say. Your description of depression was so accurate. As one who has experienced this four times in my life, I can so identify with what you've said here: there's a vast difference between sadness and depression; when in the throes of it, it comes and goes with no apparent rhyme or reason; there is no control over it; you can't eat or sleep; you don't care if you live or die; you may tell yourself to get your shit together, but you just can't.
Of all the troubles and horrors you faced, this may be the most dangerous one of all because it robs you of any self-esteem you may have had.
I don't know how you ever got out of this because it usually takes a strong support structure to help you get through it, which you certainly didn't have. As if the rest wasn't bad enough, now I'm really scared for you. - Jim
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Lea, you've described something here that only those who have experienced it for themselves can appreciate how awful it is, even worse than any beating you ever received from your stepfather, as you say. Your description of depression was so accurate. As one who has experienced this four times in my life, I can so identify with what you've said here: there's a vast difference between sadness and depression; when in the throes of it, it comes and goes with no apparent rhyme or reason; there is no control over it; you can't eat or sleep; you don't care if you live or die; you may tell yourself to get your shit together, but you just can't.
Of all the troubles and horrors you faced, this may be the most dangerous one of all because it robs you of any self-esteem you may have had.
I don't know how you ever got out of this because it usually takes a strong support structure to help you get through it, which you certainly didn't have. As if the rest wasn't bad enough, now I'm really scared for you. - Jim
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Hi, Jim, thank you again. Yes, there were times when it was really
bad. Touch and go I mean, there was one other time that I've written about. It's when I woke up in ICU after having a particularly bad bout. Today rarely happens to me. I have communication that keeps it under control. The medication within about 3 days it comes on me. I wish it wasn't so I wish I could control it. I do know how to manage it. You are thoughtful and compassionate words, touch me and I thank you again and again I will always thank you for that for your support amazing obviously I made it through i'm here in life I went through a lot I was unprepared for the world but I am here still alive and kicking. Thank you again jim I hope you have the best day ever!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I've heard a lot of people talk about depression but never with the same clarity and eloquence as expressed here! You're so in tune with yourself that, through this dark cloud, you're still able to articulate the dreadful numbness you were experiencing. Apart from anything else, there was always the threat that your life might well have been in danger. I mean, they knew you were trouble, bright and rebellious. With the weight of authority and influence on their side, ultimate disposal of this irritation could feasibly have been contemplated. (I hope I haven't over-stepped the mark here) Another excellent and deeply thought-provoking read. Keep strong, Lea. Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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I've heard a lot of people talk about depression but never with the same clarity and eloquence as expressed here! You're so in tune with yourself that, through this dark cloud, you're still able to articulate the dreadful numbness you were experiencing. Apart from anything else, there was always the threat that your life might well have been in danger. I mean, they knew you were trouble, bright and rebellious. With the weight of authority and influence on their side, ultimate disposal of this irritation could feasibly have been contemplated. (I hope I haven't over-stepped the mark here) Another excellent and deeply thought-provoking read. Keep strong, Lea. Debbie
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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No, you haven't overstepped the mark as usual. You are right on the money. Unfortunately, it was a planned thing since we were young. And they did a lot of damage they tried. Once again, your words touch me. And your insight is truly amazing! Alot I had to face. I was not prepared much. I only knew what not to. Thank you so very much, I appreciate this as always. You are amazing, have an awesome night day whatever it is, therefore you LOL thanks again!
Comment from damommy
How awful that time was for you. Depression is a horrible state to experience. I know it must have passed and you got on with things. Now, to see just what it is you do next.
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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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How awful that time was for you. Depression is a horrible state to experience. I know it must have passed and you got on with things. Now, to see just what it is you do next.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Good morning, thank you, and you're absolutely right! It was so paralyzing and I was so mad at myself that I couldn't move.
But the despair and The anxiety wouldn't let me do anything more until it passed of its own accord. Thank you again. I appreciate you reading as always. Hope I don't sound like a broken record. But anyone could see my heart. They would know how grateful I am so having said that I wish your day is awesome!