Comment from karenina

Excellent

Ah, I've fussed over secrets many a night, and thanks to "oldzheimer's" by morning I've wondered what exactly that secret was! This is a fine story poem...which (who knows with these contests) I assume is as perfectly acceptable as a "story" in prose. If not, something tells me you'll know about it! (It won't be "A Deep Secret" for long...)

(Good luck in the contest!)

Karenina

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023

Thanks, Karenina. I tried writing a story, but everything ended up rhyming. We'll see what happens.

Comment from lauralumummu

Excellent

I love this cute rhyming poem and it has some truth for us all. Many of us have had sleepless nights The last stanza is a nice surprise. Well done. All the best in the contest. Laura

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2023

Thanks, Laura. Sometimes, after a few days, I can't remember if it's suppose to be a secret or not.

Comment from Alexandra Trovato

Excellent

This is an excellent poem and your presentation is very good, too. You also use evocative words and imagery that will draw in a readers. Many will relate.

Best wishes,

Alexandra

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks, Alexandra. I appreciate your kind words.

Comment from Jewell McChesney

Excellent

This is a clever and skillfully written poem about a kept secret. It had me waiting on the edge of my seat, wondering if it would be revealed at the end. A story within a story
I am honored that you used my artwork too. Thanks

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks, Jewell. I think the secret is safe with me.

reply by Jewell McChesney on 19-Oct-2023

Good for you

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

The fear of growing old and developing dementia is not something I am concerned with. I like the flow and the rhyme scheme.
You chose not to reveal your secret in the poem and I thought that it was a requirement of the contest. Maybe I am wrong.
Anyway, this is enchanting and sure pleases the reader to think about what they have to hide as a secret.
Jesse

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks, Jesse. I would be embarrassed to reveal my secret.

reply by Jesse James Doty on 19-Oct-2023

We wouldn't want that now, would we?

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

The author's words are interesting, descriptive and creative. I pondered
this poem and thought about how the author states how hard it to just
let go of a secret! Thank you for the author's notes - yes I agree with you! The poem flows and connects. The artwork is perfect and compliments these words.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks, Maria. As of now, I am harboring no secrets.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I enjoyed listening to the Speaker's lament. It must be terribly tormenting to carry around a secret you want to share but can't. You describe how she deals with it very well, and I'm sure dementia would be a welcome solution. Rod

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks for the review, Rod. How did you know it was a woman?

reply by RodG on 18-Oct-2023

I simply guessed.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

This really is a deep, dark secret and I like the way you build up the tension in your verse before calming yourself with the thought you might, in the end, forget it. Your verse flows well with unforced rhyming pattern and a relatable theme. Well done and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks, Debbie. It is not a good thing when dementia is the solution.

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

Secrets gnaw away at our souls so I hope you manage to forget about it without dementia being the cause. "I'm having trouble sleeping
with this secret on my mind,
And after coming home from work,
I can't seem to unwind."
I can particularly relate to this stanza. Good luck!

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks, Wendy. I hope you don't take the drinking route.

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

I thnk you're right; we all have something we don't want to share with the rest of the world. I know I do. You have done an excellent job with the writing prompt. I wish you the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2023

Thanks for the review. I hope you don't have too many.