Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

This is a beautiful poem about the saddest kiss of all,
His mother places one last kiss
Upon his silent lips,
something we all hope we neve have to do. Beautifully written, and I wish you luck in the contest.
cheers

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023

Thanks, Pearl. I think all wars should be fought with internet games.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is so sad and there are so many dead heroes in life. I cannot imagine how sad it is to lose a son in a battle away from home. It is such a fruitless waste, a fine post, good rhymes and sentiments here, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023

Thanks, Christine. There are some topics that are easy to write about, but difficult to read.

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

A touching poem about a young man's service and a Mother's love and sacrifice.

Your poem flows smoothly and the abab rhyme scheme works well to make this an easy read.

Good luck in the contest.

Steve

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023

Thanks, Steve. Hopefully there will come a day when heroes won't have to die.

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

A beautiful and yet heartbreaking poem. One every mother can imagine and hope and pray they never experience first hand.

Well done
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023

Thanks, Janet. This happens all too often.

Comment from Eleri

Excellent

This is a very sad poem that describes one of the horrors of war - losing a loved one. The poem rhymes well and the rhythm is constant throughout. I just would have used 'now' instead of 'ere' in the second stanza.
Good luck with it
Eleri

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023

Thanks, Eleri. I used ere because it had to mean before.

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Your poem is so sad, and it made me cry the last stanza is the culmination of grief:"She knows that he'll be waiting there
In heaven when she dies,
And then another kiss they'll share,
But this time, no goodbyes." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023

Thanks, Iza. This was done on pretty short notice, so there are a few rough spots.

Comment from JSD

Excellent

Really good. Using rhyme and rhythm cleverly and sensitively to make a link between the past, present and future kisses. Excellent.

John

"Poetry is in the space between words."

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023

Thanks, John. A little rough around the edges because of the short notice.

Comment from Paul Manton

Excellent

Well, I cried when I read this, because you had written it so beautifully. I wonder if this your own experience? Certainly it is for thousands of American mothers over many years - and now for both Ukrainian and Russian mothers too - and though the political entities may be our enemy, the grief and pain of losing a child in combat is universal.

Written in abab rhyme and iambic 4-3-4-3 rhythm, your quatrains are faultless and flow in speech patterns throughout. You tell the story so precisely - not a word wasted, with a really impressive run through (like an enjambment) between verses 2 and 3, and then a real enjambment between 3 and 4. That is really accomplished.

The ending as an expression of faith is searing in its emotion: ' . . this time, no goodbyes.' Hard to see how anyone could cope without faith in a God who has promised a home for those who have put their trust in Him.
We are a people of both death and resurrection - and our belief is in a God who will raise the fallen to live with Him for ever.
God bless you and all your family.
Paul

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023

Thanks, Paul. I appreciate the time you took to evaluate this piece.

reply by Paul Manton on 25-Jul-2023

You're welcome.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

This is such a poignant verse, well written in this smoothly flowing and rhyming verse. A very moving story of a mother's deep love for her son captured in a kiss before he went away to fight and, sadly, when he returned. Perfectly fitting the brief. Strong contender I would think. Good luck! Debbie

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 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023

Thanks, Debbie. I struggled to meet the short deadline.

reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 25-Jul-2023

That's a shame. But I know how ridiculously short they can be. But at least you're up and ready and out there. Good luck anyway.

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

The author's words are heartfelt and sad. I pondered on the words of
this poem and envisioned the sadness and grief that transpired. The last
stanza of this poem gives hope. The poem flows and connects well. The
artwork goes well with the theme and words of this poem.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023

Thanks, Maria. That last stanza took me awhile.