Reviews from

Stephen Lawrence

A Racist Echo!

28 total reviews 
Comment from ElPoetry001
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent description of how groups of people are indoctrinated and emboldened to take an innocent life.

Sad that the world allows the teachings by those groups, that are clearly hateful, to teach those that are amenable the doctrines that allow killing others; Nazism, and other radical groups.

More groups are forming; demanding recognition, special rights, and laws to protect them.

Chaos results when the exceptions to the rules eat up the rules.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 13-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much for this wonderful review! Your rating and very thoughtful comments are deeply appreciated. It's all very shocking and, even with some laws now in place, you have to wonder if this hatred has all been sent underground and we are in fact going backwards? Thanks again, Debbie
reply by ElPoetry001 on 13-Jul-2023
    Stay well
reply by ElPoetry001 on 13-Jul-2023
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Thirty years ago already. I don't think you mentioned that anywhere. To his mother it must seem like an eternity, but to the rest of us it has gone by in a flash. And have things improved? Thank you for reminding us of this shocking event in this fine poem. kay

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 13-Jul-2023
    Kay, thank you so much for this wonderful rating and your very thoughtful comments which I deeply appreciate. Take care, Debbie
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

How heartbreaking. Thank you for telling this young man's story. Actually there were two victims here bothe Stephen and his mother who never fully received justice for her son.
Best wishes
Mary

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much, Mary! I really appreciate your review and profound comment - you're so right!
Comment from Paul McFarland
Excellent
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Nicely done, Debbie. Stories such as these should be brough up to illustrate the injustice that is done. Prison is too good for the perpetrators of crimes such as these.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much, Paul! I really appreciate your review here. Although I was a probation officer in a former life, often advocating against harsh penalties - I too often wish like you these days!
    Take care Debbie
Comment from Paul Manton
Excellent
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Hard, as a Brit, not to respond to this Debbie - I read your exceptional notes carefully, but most of us have these down pat. The eye witness who can name the sixth boy involved has never been able to testify to this day - and one can only assume that his life may still be in danger, even now.
It is obscene that we are policed by such a reprehensible set of 'guardians' -and it must be the despair of the 95% of good coppers doing their best to police this country and putting their lives on the line every day. I used to teach in Kidlington,Oxford, center of the Thames Valley force - so lots of my parents were policemen - from sergeants to superintendents. All of them as straight as a truncheon!
Iambic terameter rhyme abcb - but very unusually, 'b' is the same throughout the poem, as you have the plaintive chorus,
'This boy was killed because of race' running from start to finish. It drives the point home again and again. I haven't given a verse by verse summary, Debbie - you tell the whole story, leaving nothing out, plus some time at the end for us to reflect. The picture of Stephen, known to everyone in the UK, stands at the head of your poem, like a tombstone.
Paul

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Hi Paul, Many thanks for your kind rating and full comments! Greatly appreciated. Could you possibly explain the "very unusually" bit - not sure why it is? Thanks for your time, Debbie
reply by Paul Manton on 12-Jul-2023
    Yes, Debbie - I just looked back at it.
    Let's say the normal rhyming is abab, then the next should be cdcd, then efef and so on - but because you chose a 'chorus' for line four of each stanza, the second and fourth line of EVERY verse has the same ending - so it goes: abab cbcb dbdb ebeb and so on. Does that make sense? It's very unusual because hardly any poems have a chorus like that, which makes it so distinctive.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Ok thanks, Paul.
reply by Paul Manton on 12-Jul-2023
    Sure that's clear?
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Yes, except I didn't think it was that unusual to repeat a last line in which case line B rhyme would always need to rhyme with D. Perhaps I'm thinking more of cascades in which case the same line would obviously move down the stanza...
reply by Paul Manton on 12-Jul-2023
    D=B. That's the point. Lines 2 and 4 are ALWAYS the same in a rhymed chorus poem.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    No I know that Paul.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This boy was killed because of race! This is horrible. Why there is hate due to race?

From your poem, those were the dark ages for racism. Even now, racism still exists although there are laws to protect the minority.

Thank you for sharing this story of " This boy was killed because of race!" to alert the world racism is wrong.


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much for this! I greatly appreciate your rating and comments. As you say, racism still exists but there is at least punishment. I'm just always surprised by the fact that laws still do so little actually to change the prevalence and force of this hateful crime. Many thanks again, Debbie
Comment from harmony13
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The author's words are heart breaking! When will those who kill because of race see that we are all equal! I found the poem very sad. The author
words throughout the poem were detailed and clear. Thank you for the
author's notes - they bring me to tears. The artwork is awesome! And
it is also is a tribute to the short life of Stephen Lawrence.
Great Poem, Debbie - thank you!

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much for such a kind and thoughtful review which I greatly appreciate! Take care Debbie
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a wonderful poem that skillfully tells Stephen's story. The last line of each verse is unforgettable. Sadly, the same problem is common here in the USA. I appreciate how you have followed up with more information about this tragic death.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much, Carol, for this! Your wonderful rating and thoughts are all greatly valued. This is a story I fear that will never have the proper ending although Stephen's death and his mother's enduring campaigning have made a difference in our laws as well as promoting better community relations - at least on the surface! Take care Debbie
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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I remember this case very well Debbie and it is disgusting that the perpetrators got away with it initially. Your poem is powerful and well written and I am sorry I don't have a six left for you. I am so glad that you highlighted this terrible injustice here, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much Dolly for your very kind rating and review which is all more than enough for me! I'm hearing even worse stories in the US and not just about blacks now but Asians who don't seem to have the same protection and are being victimised after all the anti-China rhetoric. I have to wonder if the pandemic has made us so deeply insecure that we are constantly looking for the enemy within. Switch on the TV and we're duped into believing from the shows and ads that we're all living in perfect harmony; look on the streets and football pitches/cricket grounds etc and we often feel we haven't moved on at all! Thanks for your thoughts, so greatly valued. Love Debbie x
reply by Dolly'sPoems on 11-Jul-2023
    There is a lot of negativity around and people are always looking for someone to blame these days Debbie, love Dolly x x x
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank you for sharing Stephen Lawrence's story! How heartbreaking for his whole family. We in the US have too many of such stories, too numerous to recount.
I admire how in the UK and in France, Blacks were more integrated and in TV shows and entertainment long before the US. Now we're trying to make up for the racial disparity in public forums and all of the sudden all the TV ads are devoid of Whites which doesn't make sense either. A pendulum swing doesn't help.
Your poem reminded me of a young Chinese man who was beaten to death in Michigan because they thought he was Japanese at a time when all the car business was being taken over by Japan. His mother sought justice but she was told racial crime could not be claimed because he was not Black. Asians have had it hard especially due to the last president's overt anti-China messages.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
    Thank you so much for this, Helen! I'm really interested in what you say about the US and you're so right about the disparity. On the one hand we're being told (or having it displayed on TV) that we've become a more inclusive society and on the other we see the slightest trigger will bring out all this hatred, particularly in sport. I had no idea that the Asians were having it so hard and had such little protection. It's as if we're incapable of seeing the whole picture and are so insecure (not helped I think by the pandemic) that we have to see someone as the enemy within. This whole migrants issue has done nothing to help either and in the UK we (not me) brought in Brexit and that clown Johnson, on an anti-migration ticket. It's all very sad and I hope I didn't get the wrong message to you when I was talking about reparations for wrongs in the past. They are of course important as long as they're not an excuse for deluding people into believing that everything is working OK in the present e.g. slavery which still of course exists.
    Thank you so much for your time and thoughts. I really appreciate this. Take care Debbie x
reply by lyenochka on 11-Jul-2023
    We are imperfect humans in an imperfect world. It does make me wonder about the sudden nationalism that cropped up in various countries a the same time. I blamed Rupert Murdoch's media but that doesn't explain Russia or Iran. It's scary when countries become violently nationalistic as that's what was happening just before WWII...