Coffee With Iris
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Talk Later"Two opposites meet and connect.
19 total reviews
Comment from pome lover
you really nailed this chapter.
The paragraph after, "I sit outside..." is terrific. In fact it's all really good.
You get thoughts and feelings and facial responses in there, so naturally.
There is one word , being a Southerner, I wasn't wild about - I couldn't imagine a lovely old lady saying, "Jeez." Maybe Northern old ladies do. :)
Never-the-less, it's a 6.
Katharine
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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you really nailed this chapter.
The paragraph after, "I sit outside..." is terrific. In fact it's all really good.
You get thoughts and feelings and facial responses in there, so naturally.
There is one word , being a Southerner, I wasn't wild about - I couldn't imagine a lovely old lady saying, "Jeez." Maybe Northern old ladies do. :)
Never-the-less, it's a 6.
Katharine
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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I say geez all the time. Lol. Because the word I'm thinking of is much worse lol. Thank you so much for this. I'm glad you found it authentic. Gretchen
Comment from royowen
A peculiar thing is a relationship between an old women, full of wisdom perhaps, and now that he found someone sage, she is going to leave him, so Iris' is wrong, he is interested, she put a desire in him, that is other than physical, desire to live. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : At the horizon(')s line...
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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A peculiar thing is a relationship between an old women, full of wisdom perhaps, and now that he found someone sage, she is going to leave him, so Iris' is wrong, he is interested, she put a desire in him, that is other than physical, desire to live. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : At the horizon(')s line...
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Roy. Beautiful review. Gretchen
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Well done
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Iris, you need to call Jameson. He needs you as much as you need him. He would want you to call him. Okay, now I'm talking to characters, but I'm okay, really, I am. I do like this story.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Iris, you need to call Jameson. He needs you as much as you need him. He would want you to call him. Okay, now I'm talking to characters, but I'm okay, really, I am. I do like this story.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Thanks. I talk to them all the time. I'm glad you are enjoying this story. Gretchen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
She's so wrong! They both need each other now, for different reasons. He needs her encouragement, she needs his companionship. Not his pity, but his compassion. You are so good at this, Gretchen, you pull the heartstrings, and bring your reader into Iris's despair, wishing I could help her. Another amazing chapter, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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She's so wrong! They both need each other now, for different reasons. He needs her encouragement, she needs his companionship. Not his pity, but his compassion. You are so good at this, Gretchen, you pull the heartstrings, and bring your reader into Iris's despair, wishing I could help her. Another amazing chapter, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much, Sandra. I'm so glad you liked it. Gretchen
Comment from jmdg1954
Shortness of the chapter is mox-nix to me. This was really in depth.
Two things -
1) whatever tick tocks that (are) happening inside of me.
2) after Iris leaves the drs office she's sitting outside the coffee shop wondering how she got so old. Then as the story reads, a young mother pushes the stroller and the child is looking up.
You have Iris looking down at the roots and sidewalk cracks. Is she sitting or walking? Maybe she got up after sitting?
To me, that could read a little better. What do you think?
John
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Shortness of the chapter is mox-nix to me. This was really in depth.
Two things -
1) whatever tick tocks that (are) happening inside of me.
2) after Iris leaves the drs office she's sitting outside the coffee shop wondering how she got so old. Then as the story reads, a young mother pushes the stroller and the child is looking up.
You have Iris looking down at the roots and sidewalk cracks. Is she sitting or walking? Maybe she got up after sitting?
To me, that could read a little better. What do you think?
John
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Thank you for pointing that out. Much appreciated. I'm glad you are enjoying this. Gretchen
Comment from S.C Verrell
Very well written, i love when a story creates a visual in my head. The use of humor in the face of death is given in just the right dose. I look forward to see where this goes next.
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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Very well written, i love when a story creates a visual in my head. The use of humor in the face of death is given in just the right dose. I look forward to see where this goes next.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind review. Gretchen
Comment from papa55mike
Those dreaded words, end of life stage, would shock the pants off of anybody. What a wonderfully written chapter and an interesting storyline. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Those dreaded words, end of life stage, would shock the pants off of anybody. What a wonderfully written chapter and an interesting storyline. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much. Delighted you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I can understand how Iris must be feeling. She is totally alone in the world except for her friend Gertrude. She needs Jameson's friendship and support now at this stage of her life. We know he would want her to call him. Wonder what Claire will do when she finds Jameson has a new friend named Iris. LOL Well done, Gretchen. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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I can understand how Iris must be feeling. She is totally alone in the world except for her friend Gertrude. She needs Jameson's friendship and support now at this stage of her life. We know he would want her to call him. Wonder what Claire will do when she finds Jameson has a new friend named Iris. LOL Well done, Gretchen. Nancy:)
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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I'm sure Claire will assume the worst. Thanks, Nancy. Very astute review. Gretchen
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
End-Of-Life. Hmm, strong-willed people can be in that category and trick death for a surprisingly long time, even if we think there's no hope. Certainly there may be time for Iris to help Jameson finish growing. kay
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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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End-Of-Life. Hmm, strong-willed people can be in that category and trick death for a surprisingly long time, even if we think there's no hope. Certainly there may be time for Iris to help Jameson finish growing. kay
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2023
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Hoping she can beat the odds. Thank you for this. Gretchen
