Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

I almost never make suggestions, since hardly anyone makes the mistakes that I do. But for fine writers like you, I'm sure you'd rather I'd point out what I think I see, than to let them go without saying something. I'm just glad to know you make a boo boo or two, too. :-) Thanks for sharing.

He looks down at his feet but smiles politely at my terrible attempt(ed) joke.

I know I haven't know (known) him but a few weeks but he's like family to me now.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Always point out what's wrong. I make a ton of mistakes. Lol. Thank you for catching those. And for the awesome feedback. Gretchen

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

I really liked this post. Iris is a real character. I feel like I know her. That's good writing.

He looks down at his feet but smiles politely at my terrible attempt a joke. (you can omit 'down', it's understood.)

Maybe by that point we realized we aren't invincible. The world moves on and all we can do is hang on. (great way to put these thoughts)

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Thank you for this awesome review. I'll go back and fix the spag. I feel like I know Iris as well. Thanks. Gretchen

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

You manage to paint a good picture of Iris's sadness here. Age, solitude and illness do not sit well on her shoulders. A minor point of style:
In 'informal' writing, negatives should be avoided when possible. Thus
'I know I haven't know him but a few weeks' would read better as 'I know I've only known him a few weeks' kay

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Thanks for this grammatical help. I really appreciate this kind review and the nice comments. Gretchen

Comment from JSD

Excellent

A beautiful tone to this. Soft and tender and melancholy. So delicately written. A real talent. Thank you for sharing this.

John

"Seeing through a glass darkly."

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Thank you, John. I'm so happy you enjoyed this. Gretchen

Comment from damommy

Excellent

Bless her heart. I can really empathize with Iris. It's nice she has Jameson to rely on. Looking through old photos can be painful, and so can dreaming about lost loved ones, but it seems to comfort Iris.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Thanks so much. For Iris, the dreams of her missing loved ones are a break from the stark reality. Gretchen

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Gretchen, this is charming and deeply moving to read. Iris is such a dear and I can well understand why Jameson wants her so much in his life. She speaks so many of our thoughts especially when it comes to the photographs which are always a hard and poignant journey as you get older. You have a real and special gift for portraying these characters and it's always such a pleasure and education for me. Tiny edit 4th line from the bottom - I haven't (known)... (sorry to be so pedantic here:) Debbie

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Never apologize for pointing out mistakes. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you for your nice review. Gretchen

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

An excellent chapter. I think Jameson feels honoured as well as wanted and needed, and caring for Iris, even if only at times, will bring him some sense of purpose.
Wendy
Suggestion: "I know I haven't know him but a few weeks" (This sentence is a bit awkward: maybe "I know I have only known him for a few weeks" flows better and is more grammatically correct.)

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Thank you, Wendy for the help and the great review. Gretchen

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

This great little story tears at the heart strings, an elderly lady Iris, who has heart problems, and a young man who has wife problems, with wife, Claire having left him, Jameson misses both his wife and his child, beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Typo : Jamison or Jameson Gretchen? 2: My terrible attempt (a) joke. To?

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Jameson. I appreciate the spag catch. I'm glad you are still enjoying the story. Gretchen

reply by royowen on 01-Jul-2023

Bless you Gretchen

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

A very touching chapter, Gretchen. She is waxing nostalgic about Lou, but remember, the reader still doesn't know whether Lou left her or whether he died. I'm sure you are planning the best dramatic moment to reveal his departure ... so I'll be patient.

I have pulled this sweet young man into this pit that is consuming me. [well-phrased]

Great job!

Jay

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

I will reveal Lou's information, but it won't be dramatic. Just in passing conversation. I appreciate this review. Gretchen

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is a touching and sentimental post Gretchen as Iris reminisces the past and Jameson offers here a helping hand should she need it.

Just one small edit here:

feet but smiles politely at my terrible attempt (at) a joke.

Much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023

Thanks, Dolly. I'm so glad you are enjoying this and thank you for the help. Always appreciated. Gretchen