Reviews from

The Note

an 80-word story

15 total reviews 
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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Oh my goodness, that is going to cause the biggest stir ever and the lawn service problem pales into insignificance. During the pandemic you of course had to wear a mask and I would go for my run, wear my mask, cap and sunglasses. Calling into the bank on my way back I was viewed very suspiciously! Ha ha ha, a fine write Bill, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 26-May-2023


reply by the author on 26-May-2023
    Thank you, Dolly. I know the masking times were weird.
Comment from lyenochka
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Oh no! What got into Amos? He should have just written his notes to the lawn care guy and the mail carrier. But depending on the age of Amos, I wonder if anyone knows how to write by hand anymore. Surprising ending! Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 25-May-2023


reply by the author on 26-May-2023
    Thank you, Helen
Comment from Spitfire
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Three is the magic number and Amos has three shots at remembering. First the lawn service, then the postal carrier and finally the bank with a not so innocent note. Well done. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 25-May-2023


reply by the author on 26-May-2023
    Thank you, Shari
Comment from judiverse
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Great ending! You have just eighty words to work with, but I think you could eliminate words in the first paragraph. I don't know that you need "he had to write." Second and third paragraphs might be questions. Was it to....." You lead up to that fabulous conclusion. I think questions (if he couldn't remember to begin with.) Great idea, and best of luck in the contest. judi

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 Comment Written 25-May-2023


reply by the author on 26-May-2023
    The excuse I use for short writes is that I write until run into the punch line at the end. o, the corrections to length begin from the end. Once the word number is right, and the piece makes sense, I post.
Comment from Ric Myworld
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Yes, sir, I'm sure he had to figure out a quick way to pay the lawn service. And what faster and more efficient way to load one's pockets than to rob a bank. Thanks for sharing.

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 Comment Written 25-May-2023


reply by the author on 25-May-2023
    Thanks, Ric. Maybe Fanstory should post a challenge for the best bank robber note.